To think this is a really weird thing to do with presents?

[Santaslittlehelper83]

So a family member has just told me that every year with the kids Xmas presents they rip off every label from presents that have been given, then tell them that all the presents are from Santa! I mean...wtf. I feel it's an odd thing to do, and also nice for the kids to know who has got them what and to appreciate and thank them for it. I've now written in sharpie across all her kids gifts! AIBU?

So when the kid goes back to school he can tell the other kids he got 50 presents from Santa. Not fair on the other kids really.

I only ever did one gift from Santa and the rest from us or family.

Christmas 'magic' is 90% about the parents, not the kids anyway. You see it with the ridiculous lengths some go on here to explain away the very obvious plot holes about Santa, and the despair that their child might not believe (when it makes pretty much zero difference anyway. Children who never believe in Santa don't have worse Christmases or 'less magical' ones than those who do).

But then again I have a 5yo non-believer as she's a very logical kid and had the whole thing sussed pretty much last year at only 4. This year she was absolutely relentless until she found out. And my 2yo told me yesterday that she hates Santa, so we will just have our miserable non-Santa Christmas

When did Father Christmas become Santa FFS!

In Scotland? Always. He's never been FC here.

Christmas is about children, and we will keep the magic alive as long as we can.

I am not going to spend these precious years worrying that other children might have more, or might not have exactly what my children have. It's not about anybody else, it's about them.

I'm not going to spend their entire childhood thinking they can't have something because other children might not have it. My DH and I both work hard, and have stressful jobs and it's the highlight of the year to see their little faces!

I know plenty of people who can afford more than us, who simply don't buy for their children like we do. That's their choice.

If people don't like that, or begrudge buying my children a gift because they won't get credit then I'd rather they didn't bother. Nobody has even suggested anything different than our approach.

Father Christmas leaves some presents at other people's houses for the children, and under our tree for other people - it's all part of the magic for us. Those people still get to give the children the presents and see their faces, and they get thanked of course. Once they no longer believe, of course those people will be thanked differently.

I don't give a gift to a small child for Christmas and expect a thank you letter. I love the magic, and the wonder in their eyes as they open it

If you need to pretend that all gifts are from Santa in order to make your Christmas magical then that’s a bit sad!! …..I’d be miffed too, I’d probably change to buying a smaller/cheaper gift and revert to the original budget when they’re old enough to know who they’re from.

Whether it’s a text or a card it’s really important to thank the giver if you haven’t seen them in person.
But a kid who still believes in ‘Santa’ probably doesn’t have a Smartphone.

There’s no “one size fits all” story about Santa that people tell their kids.

Because of the simple fact that you appear to give in order to get recognition for the gift-AND you’re trying to interfere with your friends Santa traditions, I’m saying YABU.

It’s none of your business what she tells her kids, and gifts should be given simply because you want the recipient to enjoy it-not for the gratitude to yourself

You dont need it to be all magical. It’s some people’s traditions. Why should it be worse than any others

A question to those parents that insist everything comes from Father Christmas - do your children not question why all the older children and adults seem to get presents from each other? Do your children not attend clubs or come home from nursery or school with gifts they've made for their parents? How does this all fit into your narrative?

OP, I very frequently do not have labels and therefore write directly onto the wrapping, or have labels that stick directly to the wrapping. Surely this isn't unusual?

And if you’re not there when the present is opened?
no wonder people are so entitled these days.

Gifts from friends and family are from friends and family - it lets them know they are loved and helps them feel excited about giving to other people - otherwise how do you explain choosing gifts for uncle this and grandma and grandad that if they never buy you anything?

I used to do Santa bringing the big gift but then read someone say how does that make children who don't have as much feel, that santa doesn't bring them as much. So now Santa brings the stocking and some special but small bits they'll love (cute plushies, cosy socks, a small toy from their list) and we get the rest. They know we liaise with Santa so we don't get the same bits

That’s interesting. I’d assumed it was another unwelcome American import.

Then we would send a photo or a video of the same to the giver.

I think it is decent to respect people's views when it comes to their own children.

I have friends who have those their children from the beginning that FC isn't real - that is their choice. But those parents didn't experience the magic themselves growing up. I did, and desperately want my children to enjoy that same magic.

If you want to give all gifts from 'santa' (which is weird AF in my opinion) then buy them all yourselves. I'd just stop gift giving until kid is old enough to receive gifts properly.
But putting this much effort into the illusion seems doomed to upset later.
We had stockings which were nominally from father Christmas and appeared mysteriously in the night. That was the only nod to pretending there was a father Christmas, no messing about with fake soot and carrots. And I don't recall any particular discussion trying to hype it up, or a big reveal when we were older. My parents asked my sister just to check I didn't still believe when I was about 8 as was too old for it. At which point I was like 'oh,ok' and didn't think about it any more.

Re the presents- how long is thet going to last before a relative let's slip by asking the child, did you like the present u got you' or child notices other children get presents from their relatives and starts to ask why their grandma doesn't buy them presents?
And how will they learn to reciprocate? We were sending gifts back to relatives from around 6/7. Mostly homemade or small random things like tea towels but it wasn't a 1 way street.

I imagine some of these people commenting don't actually have their own children...

What miserable people some of you are to not want the magic.

My older sibling apparently knew from aged 3, as when they suggested a strange man would creep into their room at night when they were sleeping they had hysterics and nightmares until told the truth......
Reasonable response I think!

We did stocking and one gift from Santa.

My DC definitely always knew who gave them all the other presents. They also knew that a thank you, within a week or so, mentioning the specific gift was expected of them (in person, note, text - didn't matter but the thank you had to happen) as soon as they were old enough to do at least part of that themselves.

Poor kids if their parents are too lazy to teach and model basic social skills as opportunities arise.

Santa was glorified delivery driver in our house. All presents were from someone. Then they had to write out their thank you cards on boxing day.

I think you’re overthinking it

I'd love to know how they tackle the throne question when the kids are 5ish and realise not all children get lots of presents from santa (cos their parents are broke)

I had a friend that did this, I think it is weird and maybe a bit ungrateful to let Santa take the credit for some of the lovely things I bought!

For our kids, all the present from us were from Santa and then all the rest were clearly from whoeever sent them so that they could be thanked. Its also surely nice for the kids to know that other people are thinking of them. I always used to appreciate my gifts from aunties and uncles at Christmas time.

She sounds a grade A arse

When I was little (1960s) we didn't call him Santa. He was Father Christmas. Is this a generational thing or is it because my mother wasn't English?