Page 3 | To think this is a really weird thing to do with presents?

Santaslittlehelper83 · 2024-12-19T22:16:02+00:00

So a family member has just told me that every year with the kids Xmas presents they rip off every label from presents that have been given, then tell them that all the presents are from Santa! I mean...wtf. I feel it's an odd thing to do, and also nice for the kids to know who has got them what and to appreciate and thank them for it. I've now written in sharpie across all her kids gifts! AIBU?

ThatKhakiMoose · 20/12/2024 05:38

Bearbookagainandagain · 20/12/2024 05:26

All presents under the tree were from Santa when I was kid (abroad - we don't have stockings anyway), and that's what we are doing for our kids now. They're still young now and they'll grow of it by the time quickly enough anyway.

No way we force them to write thank you letters lol, we thank family on their behalf with a photo, and when they'll be old enough then can send them a text.

Given the responses here about "getting the credit" etc, I'm glad we do that now. Gift giving at Christmas is not a competition to fill the sender's ego.

Why the lol at thank you letters? They're good manners! And how else are kids meant to learn how to put together a letter?

Gumbo · 20/12/2024 05:43

I had some family members that did something similar to this, and I'd no idea that it pissed off the other adults as much as it did me until one Christmas we were there and one of the DC was talking about the gifts they'd got from Santa, and turned to her Aunt and said, "Did you get me a present Auntie Sue?"

And Auntie Sue said, "Yes, it's that art set over there - do you like it? It must have got mixed up with your presents from Santa!". Then her Grandmother piped up, "Oh, I think that may have happened to my present too - it's that one over there!"

The parents were fuming but it was of the own doing... and it wasn't like anyone told the child Santa didn't exist, just that actual people were thoughtful enough to buy them presents as well.

EatingHealthy · 20/12/2024 06:11

She's being really rude. The gift is from you, it's not up to her to decide how it's given and not even make the child aware that it's from you.

If she wants to create Santa magic that's up to her to do and fund.

It's also really stupid. Unless the child is too young to understand and talk about it with their friends it's likely their child will get upset when their friends say they got x from their nan and y from their aunt when they got nothing from anyone except Santa and they realise that everyone else gets gifts from all their family. They're going to feel that their family/friends don't care.

RampantIvy · 20/12/2024 06:15

One of my nephews once came home from school really upset because all his friends got presents from their parents and he didn't get any from his (because they all came from Santa).

I remember my late MIL frowning at me when DD was opening presents when she was about three years old and I was saying "this is from auntie Mary and this is from Fred". MIL thought that all presents had to come from Santa. I told her that Santa only brought the stocking.

Velvian · 20/12/2024 06:17

I'm so glad that DH and I had the same tradition growing up. Father Christmas fills up a sack at the end of your bed. Presents from family and friends are under the tree before Christmas day.

We both think anything else is just plain wrong!😅

Monty27 · 20/12/2024 06:19

The Santa thing is weird. I did it with DC's but with stuff I bought. Gifts from other people had their labels kept on.
Myself and DS were having a giggle a couple of days ago about the carrots and mince pies we'd leave for Santa and the reindeers.
It was like "who did you think you were kidding" and it was an in joke at primary school and they simply played along.
DS is now 29. I bet if he has DC's he'll do it too though.
It's innocent Christmas stuff. yawn go through the motions 🎅🎅🎅🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄

MrTiddlesTheCat · 20/12/2024 06:20

Wek · 20/12/2024 00:42

Santa brings the gifts but we give Santa the money so Santa gets credit for bringing them, as do the elves for making them, as do we for paying for them.

Santa is mystical version of an Amazon delivery driver!

In our house he's more like DHL as he also collects presents from Granny's house abroad and delivers them for her.

Zanatdy · 20/12/2024 06:25

Very odd. When I was growing up, I was told that Santa was merely the delivery guy, my parents paid for the presents and sent them off to Santa. So I just did the same for my kids. The presents off my friends are from my friends. I was surprised when my friend wanted to hide the gifts I had for her kids on christmas eve as assume she was making out Santa gave them, but I never did, they were just a gift from my friends.

Zanatdy · 20/12/2024 06:27

RampantIvy · 20/12/2024 06:15

One of my nephews once came home from school really upset because all his friends got presents from their parents and he didn't get any from his (because they all came from Santa).

I remember my late MIL frowning at me when DD was opening presents when she was about three years old and I was saying "this is from auntie Mary and this is from Fred". MIL thought that all presents had to come from Santa. I told her that Santa only brought the stocking.

I remember asking my parents why Sarah Lucy got a present from Santa (a Sindy house) and Santa himself never got me anything (he was the delivery guy only in my house), she didn’t know what to say.

WillowTit · 20/12/2024 06:28

in your presents you have written in sharpie to her kids gifts?
you are being obstructive to her methods
why is your way better?
yabu
you do whats right for your family and she prefers her way

EnterFunnyNameHere · 20/12/2024 06:29

I think it's pretty cheeky to be honest. If i wanted the gifts I'd bought to be "from santa" I'd have labelled them that way myself. I especially don't like it when parents only do this with gifts from others, so their kids think the only ones who love them enough to buy them presents are the parents, and everything else is santa....

Velvian · 20/12/2024 06:30

Father Christmas (was never Santa) delivering all the presents is also nuts. I never realised so many people did this. We must have freaked out some other parents with all our presents under the tree.

Do you think it is regional? I think our closest friends do the same as us (stocking/sack only from FC).

Bewildened · 20/12/2024 06:32

My BIL and SIL do this too. In our house all the gifts from DH and I are from Santa but things from wider family are acknowledged and the givers are thanked.

This is the first year that our kids are all old enough to potentially discuss this, so I hope my niece doesn’t wonder why grandparents bought my kids presents and not her!

RampantIvy · 20/12/2024 06:34

WillowTit · 20/12/2024 06:28

in your presents you have written in sharpie to her kids gifts?
you are being obstructive to her methods
why is your way better?
yabu
you do whats right for your family and she prefers her way

And your way is better?

FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 20/12/2024 06:34

BlankTimes · 20/12/2024 00:09

Basic manners on receiving a gift is to thank the giver.

How can children learn this valuable lesson if the parent removes all labels and insists all gifts are from Santa?

They can teach them that literally any other time the kids get anything - birthday, Easter, random gifts, buying an ice cream, anything.

It's Christmas and they'll only be doing Santa for a few years anyway. I just wish people would lighten up and let families do Christmas how they want FFS.

ThatCoralMaker · 20/12/2024 06:37

My kids are too old for Father Christmas now but they never had presents from him he was only ever a postman for us (the same for me growing up) they didn’t even have a stocking.
They always said thank you to the person they’d received a gift from as well - not letters though.

Pancakeflipper · 20/12/2024 06:38

Blimey, doesn't everyone know there's a pressie or 2 from Santa? The other gifts are from you/family/friends. And the stockings are filled by Santa.

CleftChin · 20/12/2024 06:38

My mum, and me, Santa only does the stocking - all the presents come from people.

Both because I don't see why Santa should get the credit, and because that way they understand why the gifts are what they are.

Santa should be able to get anything so why on earth did I get this horrible jumper? Doesn't make sense, where as Aunt Meg always gives you socks 2 sizes too big so you can grow into them is entirely believable because it's true.

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 20/12/2024 06:38

OneShoeShort · 20/12/2024 03:57

I’ll be honest that I would have thoughts of not giving a gift if the parent insisted on doing this. Or I’d probably do an informal voucher to take them to do something fun instead.

People talk about “getting credit” in a derisive way like you’re being selfish, but it’s the opposite in my opinion. Gifts are a way of communicating - the message in this case is “I love and care for you and so I found and brought you something that I think you’ll enjoy.” Children especially should get these tangible reminders that adults and others in their lives love them and value making them happy.

Santa magic is great, but kids can have Santa magic and gifts from people around them. Getting a gift from their auntie doesn’t take away from the magic of Santa one little bit. If a parent is truly struggling to fund the Santa portion then I’d rather give them some cash to help with that and still provide a gift from me.

Edited

That's really well put. And you're exactly right. It's not about credit but everything you have said.

DiscoBeat · 20/12/2024 06:38

Only the stockings were from Father Christmas, and the rest were from the people who brought them so the children could appreciate who they were from. They knew this because FC has his own special wrapping paper with his face on!
Just a touch of suspicion when they were slightly older and someone used the paper for some other presents!

smokeandflame · 20/12/2024 06:38

TMGM · 19/12/2024 23:51

I think everyone is being a bit unreasonable here. My SIL is the same, she wants to teach her child that all the gifts are from Santa, whereas I want my child to know the gifts come from the people who love him (Santa fills the stocking but collects and puts all the gifts from everyone under the tree), but with respect, I don’t think writing in sharpie is a good solution… I appreciate that my SIL is her child’s parent and just wants to make the magic happen in the best way she thinks, and I’m doing the same for mine. No one is “wrong” we just have different approaches. When you give a gift it’s not about the recognition, so I don’t mind that my niece doesn’t know it’s from me as long as she gets it and “Santa” made her happy.

Edited

Tbh I actually do think it's wrong if someone spends their money on your child and you pretend it was someone else (even if the someone else is a mythical being!)

If you buy a child a gift and want them to know it was from you, then they should.

TheLittleOldWomanWhoShrinks · 20/12/2024 06:41

I don't think there's much, in the way of adult egotism, to choose between an insistence on Santa belief/Santa 'magic' at all costs and the absolute need to 'get the credit' or the 'appreciation' (from children!) for gifts, which I'm seeing increasingly on here. The first post nailed it in my view - unreasonableness all round.

NearlyNewHip · 20/12/2024 06:41

We do that in our family, I have no children but nieces and nephews...while they still believe its all from santa, its only lasts until they're about 7 or 8. And they still facetime me and I see how excited they are about whatever father Christmas brought them and I think uhhhh they mentioned mine, got it right!! The older ones just quietly ask auntie.. was so and so from you? And then thank me

Timble · 20/12/2024 06:43

In every film about Father Christmas he tends to fill stockings or give one gift. The quickest way to lose the magic is to start wondering why Santa brings you 20+ presents but all of your friends just get one! All families do it differently but to believe santa brings all of your presents is a lot more unrealistic than him bringing just one!

TheLittleOldWomanWhoShrinks · 20/12/2024 06:44

Gifts are a way of communicating - the message in this case is “I love and care for you and so I found and brought you something that I think you’ll enjoy.” Children especially should get these tangible reminders that adults and others in their lives love them and value making them happy.

If this is the way people saw it, I'd agree entirely. (It's how I see it and I don't mind if I don't get effusive formal thank-yous). But on here it's often all about 'I'm not putting all the money and effort in to not get the credit'. The phrase comes from the 'givers' themselves.