Sister refuses to pay me back for money I loaned

[Anon777]

My sister borrowed £2.5k money from me on the premise she would pay it back.

Refuses to pay it back and keeps saying she is broke. She lives with parents with her own flat on rent and has a full-time job. My parents think I am wrong for even asking.

What can I do???

Dont write it off OP, get your pound of flesh!!

Take her to the small claims court and cut the lot of them off. They are bringing you nothing but misery.

Surely the transaction in your bank account would be evidence of your making a payment? Though she might try to argue that you were paying her for something? Worth finding out at least.

You're up to 5 pages of pretty much unanimous advice to write off the money and cut them out of your life.

What do you think to that idea?

I really need the money badly right now and it would help us so much right now.
Plus they want me to drop it and have even ignored my call and pretended they are not in when I knock on the door!!!!

@Anon777 Please look at the guidance I have just posted.

It's not unanimous to write the money off though.

Plenty of people, me included, think OP should try and recover the money through small claims and then cut them off.

IMO this is the best advice on the thread.

They should be held to account. You deserve your money. They don't deserve you in their lives.

You’re unlikely to ever see that money but as others have said, threaten to report them to HMRC. I would bet my life they’d shit theirselves too because they haven’t declared it and tax evasion is a serious crime and lack of proper landlord insurance etc to boot. Your mum can say it was your husband who gave her those bruises all she likes, without actual proof it was him and having your narcissistic family as “witnesses” won’t stick in court. Stand up for yourself and stop blindly believing the lies they tell you.

Edit: Just to clear up any confusion I’m not saying to threaten them so that they will give you your money back. Just tell them that you’re going to do it in order to make them suffer a tiny percentage of what they’ve made you suffer.

Be very careful about threatening to report to HMRC, it could be construed as blackmail. Just do it!!

OP- sorry haven't been through the whole thread, but wondering why have you given her such a large amount of money in the first place? Considering your relationship worh all of them and the low contact.

Sorry you won't get that money back. I'm also so sorry about your family. They won't change and it isn't your fault. I would go no contact. Are your in-laws nice?

You need to ask a solicitor for a free consultation. Ask them if the dad and sis backing up the mother's accusations against your DH will stand up. If it won't do the try the small claims route if you really need the money.

Then you really need to consider what do these people add to your life. Are there any positives at all. You've said they already want to you to "cut them off", that they've told you they are leaving everything to your SIS and that they continue to treat you badly and won't open the door to you. So if you have a solicitor's advice that their threats to implicate your DH in abuse will not hold up - you have nothing to lose by taking them to small claims and then doing what they want which is cutting them off.

@Anon777 @Hyperbowl in your ‘letter before action’ you could indeed add that you believe your sister has the means to repay you because she lives with your parents and receives monthly rent from a mortgage free property. Lodging the information in an official document would hopefully help them see sense.

Everyone learns this lesson, consider it yours. Never ever ever ever ever lend anyone money. You can give people money but never lend it. It can turn the most reliable of people into bitter thieves who think you’re the bad guy for wanting your money back. Never do it.

Do you know any solicitor friends that may be able to write a formal looking letter regarding the debt? Might scare them into at least offering something back

Wow, they can't even come up with anything approaching a convincing lie?

She 'needs' it?! What does she even do with her £3K+ monthly income, from which she has nothing at all that she has to pay for?

The only small comfort to you, I suppose, is that, having been used to no housing costs or bills for all of these years, nor any living/food/hobby costs, and (presumably) squandering her income on luxuries and fripperies, when she eventually does inherit the house, the sudden costs and necessary admin of having to run it will hit her so hard. Even though she'll be far from it in reality, she will feel like she's been plunged into huge poverty and will probably never recover.

https://www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome

@Anon777 what do you think about the solutions people have been giving you?

Hi OP I would cut them off and not speak to them any more. Or at least don't engage and certainly don't lend them any money. Invest in your friends, your house, your friends and things that you like to do. Wishing you the best of luck with this. They don't deserve you.

Based on this. NC and lots of therapy.

Will bring you greater wealth than 2.k will.

Fuck them.

If you are not sure whether to proceed you can get a debt collection company to send a letter before action, complete with dates and consequences. Interest can also be added to the original debt.

It looks/is very official, and you can choose whether proceed if the money doesn't turn up from this letter.

I have known them to be very successful when being nice and understanding hasn't worked!

But they are 'eyeing your husbands money'

OP, I don't think you really want advice.

You cannot see that 2.5k is worth it to see the back of them (if indeed what you say is true)

So keep moaning about them.

Won't change a damn thing.

I disagree - I firmly believe that the OP should go to the small claims court AND cut the fuckers off.

As for you saying, you don't think she wants advice - would you ever have a read through the OPs's posts and look at the traumatic and difficult relationship she has had with these people? Maybe you could empathise just a little bit?

I think you need to reframe this. You can go down the route of small claims court and that may help but, consider the challenges you have had in life and how they have resulted in the person you are now. You are independent, and whilst you may need that money, you actually were in a position to lend it three years ago so you are good financially and looking after your own family. Your sister, however, is completely dependent on your parents, and you can bet that when they go she’ll blow through any inheritance at rapid speed and then be looking for the next person to leech off. You’ve had a hard childhood and not received the love you should have done from your parents and that hurts, but you have overcome that and succeeded. You may lose the money, but if the end result is that you finally let go and go nc with your parents then it’s probably a small price to pay to finally get peace xx

You can't get the money back because you have no proof it was a loan and it was ever intended to be paid back.

Your entire family are toxic, but you are an adult now. You can decide how much toxicness you take.

Or, walk away and enjoy your life.