FERAL xmas day gift opening

[HebburnPokemon]

AIBU to cringe and feel deflated on xmas morning when the kids (we have a few, aged 7-14) dive into the presents like feral animals, rip open the wrapping on their gifts, not even properly look at the gift before moving to the next, sometimes not even finishing removing the wrapping paper. No thank you. No comment about the gift. Just manic, uncivilised chaos. :( Then disappear back to their rooms.

Why do you allow it? We pass out presents one at a time and the person opens it, then the next opens theirs. Each label is read as the package is handed over. I write down the gifter and the present, so people can be appropriately thanked.

Only stockings are a free for all.

Did you look at the wrapping when you were wee ?
I remember folk saying things like Oh that's such lovely paper & me thinking what ? OK Pensioner !

Well what have you tried to do about it?

I do not allow this. Each person opens one present at a time and yes that is exactly how it was done when I was a child and it’s how I do it now. No free for all in my house!

Why do I allow it? Because DH thinks its normal and fine. If I protest I could be seen as a party pooper or scrooge.

Re: passing them out one by one, I like this idea, however each kid gets a different amount of gifts (older teens only get a handful of very expensive items for instance).

No! I meant actually remove all the paper and look at the gift.

So give out the presents one at a time. You could even hold some back until a few days later.
Make sure they keep a list of who gave what, so that people can be properly thanked.
This is in your hands, OP - most of us were never allowed to just rip at presents, and had to wait for permission.

Are they your children? Why on earth do you let them do this? They aren't toddlers so there is no excuse.

How do people get thanked for their gifts when they have no idea what is from who?

We had young relatives who were like this. Anything they discarded amongst the wrapping paper didn't get fished out for them to take home. "You chucked it in with the rubbish so you clearly didn't want it."

I just stopped getting them presents - ungrateful little shits.

Did they make a wishlist for you to buy from ? If so they know what th item looks like because they sent you the link. I think that they’d might look at the gift more closely if it’s a surprise.

Is it possible that you’ve bought too many gifts so opening becomes a frenzy ?

YANBU for feeling that way. But you can control it!

Years ago, before I had DC, I spent Christmas with my cousin’s family which included their two kids. They were given an obscene number of gifts, and did exactly what you have described, ripping through them, barely acknowledging what they were, or thanking their parents and grandparents etc. It made me resolve never to allow that.

With my DC and other kids in the family, all aged between 9 and 5, though all the presents are under the tree, they are only handed one present at a time to open, usually given by the person who bought it for them, and it means they open them more slowly and appreciate them and thank the gift giver straight away. It turns it more into an activity too.

Stockings are a different story - they come from Santa and can be opened as soon as wake up and in as feral a way as they wish!

It's always been the case in our family that the youngest hands out the presents as it's their job. But this is a DH problem, the teens will understand they get less as the cost more and can open theirs whilst waiting for their next one.

I don't think I would like that at all. Our children take it in turns. They like to see what the others have and it creates conversations too. I can't even remember when that tradition started but it was something the kids kind of just did by themselves.

They would also spend all day downstairs even though 2 are teens.

I think your DH needs to have a think if he truly thinks that the way it is done in your home is really "the normal" and acceptable. Sorry it is such a let down for you OP. I hope you can talk some sense into them all.

Some are mine. Some are DHs.

They make wishlists but the bulk of the gifts are additional secret ones that they didn't know about.

We have always opened them one by one. My teen daughter always ends up with more individual gifts because she likes make up, hair ties, earrings etc whereas my son has a few larger gifts. We just work out an approx ratio eg 2:1 or 3:1 and she opens a couple of hers to his one!

It has always been a relaxed affair and fun but not feral.

Your husband’s way does not sound enjoyable at all to me.

We also have cups of tea and snacks etc to break it up so the pace is not too crazy. My kids never complained.

My children are similar age, you definitely need to set expectations for them.

We've never had to tell them not to do this, what we have always done is, when they open a present, we ask them what the present is and what does it do, or what is it about. So rather than rampaging to the next present, they have always looked at it and spoke about it before opening the next one.

We have never needed to do one present at a time from underneath the tree, that just isn't my thing. I like to pile their presents into separate piles for each child.

I would personally encourage them to tell you about the present before they open the next one. Or as previous posters have suggested, you could do the one by one, although that really isn't my cuppa tea!

Sounds delightful

We've never had to tell them not to do this

Same, before I become a blended family.

If your children are feral it’s your fault.

My ex's family used to wake dc up at midnight and make them open gifts then go back to bed.. Who the absolute fuck thinks that's fine?? Glad he's an ex....

What the hell???

How many presents are they getting? I wonder if they are getting big numbers of gifts which add to the chaos?

I think if it's a blended family then you maybe best trying to do one present at a time from underneath the christmas tree.

I would hate for the presents to be opened in a matter of minutes after spending so much time, thought and effort into what to buy them and then wrapping up and then waiting for them to fall asleep to put the presents out. I would be really upset if it was over before I could even blink.

You need to teach them good manners. It's up to you as their parent.