Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

Nah. A lip stain in an incredibly deep red, one of those ones that take scrubbing to remove from skin after 24 hours and won't ever come out of the parents' soft furnishings, walls, car seats, that kind of thing.

Have you tried a magic sponge? They get off everything.

Wrap up the ruined case for DNiece 😜

How has she even become obsessed with a phone case?

Was this at yours or theirs?

I think I would have been more careful especially if it was lying about somewhere & she had pens!

That said, I still think that they should replace.

Why on earth would a charity want something with a child's scribbles all over it? Even if it was originally expensive most charity shops I know would drop something so obviously damaged straight in the bin.

What a strange thing to ask.

For what it's worth the case is on jessicase.com for US $24.99 which is definitely cheaper than you paid.

I agree, it's not about the child, it's the parents.

She's 5, not 2. She absolutely should have a clue.

I like the suggestions of buying your niece something messy as a Christmas gift. I'd probably also buy a recorder or something inexpensive but noisy!

The more we hear about these people, the more awful they sound. Honestly OP, don't let them affect how you feel about yourself or your life choices, they're not even capable of parenting their child properly.

Your sister and her husband sound like absolute twats. Of course they should replace it! They’re not treating you with the respect you deserve, and this is just another symptom.

I wouldn’t give the niece the ruined case, especially if that’s what BIL suggested. It’s rewarding unacceptable behaviour.

You could keep it and give it to her when she’s older. But not now.

She doesn’t need a phone case at 5.

I'm considering sending the Barbie I've got her back and replacing it with a drum set 😅😂

Buy yourself another and wrap the ruined one up for your niece for Christmas seeing she loves it so much.
Chances are you'd have bought her a present so you're spending her Christmas present amount on the new case for you.

If she hasn't got a clue then she needs to learn you can't write your name over someone else's property and expect them to then give it to you !

They should have offered to pay for a replacement (I would have) but I wouldn't have asked for a replacement if my nephew did this.

I think you need to pick your battles wisely within families and suggestions on here like not buying any Christmas presents etc will just escalate the bad feeling around this which is fine if you don't care to have a good relationship with them, but counter intuitive if you do.

My five year olds were because I taught them (they wouldn’t have done this at 3 or 4 either). The niece isn’t having that kind of care taken of her. The parents are telling her it’s normal and fine.

It doesn't matter what you think about the case, or that the OP's sister and BiL think the expense is a waste of money - it matters to the OP.

That's all that matters, that the OP liked it, bought it and now it's damaged because the niece damaged it and the sister isn't coughing up to replace the damaged case.

Your sister sounds like a a cow to you and a shit parent tbh. Perhaps think about what - if anything - she adds to your life and set some boundaries. You don't have to spend time with someone who is disrespectful to you.

I have a 5 year old who wouldn't dream of that - she knows better. 5 year olds go to school and in cases like this know right from wrong.

It doesn't matter if it is a 'frivolous purchase' - she destroyed something of yours. It could have easily been your shoes, bag or anything else.

I would not give it to her as that is a 'reward' and I would be expecting a new one. As a parent, I can't imagine not replacing something my child destroyed that belonged to someone else. Appalling response.

Hand sanitizer works brilliantly on pen marks, we have gotten so many pen stains out
try contacting the company, they may offer advice ( or at least a discount code on a new one)

As others have said, I would return whatever Christmas presents you’ve bought them, to try and recoup some of the loss. Then with the money, you can buy yourself a new phone case. You could either be honest about doing that, or you could pretend you lost the presents you bought, and mumble something about finding them another time. There’s no way I’d let this lie, and be out of pocket. No way. I’d have been mortified if my kids had done this, and I’d have paid for a new case plus a bit extra for your inconvenience.

It reminds me of that Sex And The City episode, when Carrie’s shoes get stolen at a party.

Yes!! Or something nice and girly like a metric fuckton of glitter. Or paints. Or indelible markers. Or a nice craft set with loads pf tiny beads.
You could definitely add a small musical thing. Like a kazoo or a penny whistle.

Don't withhold her presents but def don't gift your sister and bil, they are treating you like shit and you deserve better.