Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

Oh, gosh, definitely send the Barbie back. Give her a set of Sharpies instead... And maybe a recorder 🪈 😈

Well said, OP!

I can’t believe you give them free childcare and they treated you like this. You’d be treated like gold dust in all the families I know. Thank you for standing up for yourself not many people do nowadays.

Well done, OP for standing up for yourself and asserting your boundaries. It's hard to do, and there'll almost certainly be pushback from your sister, but hold firm. That was a perfect message and you are absolutely in the right. 🙌

Well done!

I can't see why your sister thinks it's your fault - her 5 year old should know better

I would be expecting them to pay for it and woukd ask

If they won't pay for a replacement then buy yourself a new one and take £40 off whatever you would have spent on them for Christmas. Definitely think niece gets pens and paper as her gift.

Next time she's round put all your precious bits/bobs out of reach and keep a very heady eye on her as it sounds like her parents won't

It doesn't matter if the case cost £38 or £338, the fact is your niece scribbled all over it. At 5, she must have known what she was doing was at the very least naughty. Does she go around at home scribbling on her parents things or walls etc? It's your home, you shouldn't have to keep your possessions away from your niece. Your niece's parents should be teaching her to not touch other people's possessions. Personally, I think her parent's attitude is dreadful and blasé - yes they absolutely should be replacing the case and being mortified that their daughter destroyed someone's possessions.

Well done.
Your sister is nasty.
She thinks you are her skivvy au pair.

Unfortunately free childcare does that to horrible people.

Stop spending time with them and stop investing in your niece.

If she is going to be raised to be a clone of her mother, you are on a hiding to nothing.

Don't spend time around people who treat you poorly, it's shite for self esteem and your mental health.

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk is good to help build boundaries with all people.

Well done. It's hard to push back when you've been the target of spiteful family members. You are always made to feel as if you're in the wrong so actually standing up for yourself becomes harder. And they will react with indignation because they have the shitty and wrong mindset that they are right/better than you/etc. But stand firm. I had similar with an inlaw. And to keep the peace I kept my mouth shut. Until I was pushed too far. Ten years on I am now treated with respect. But it took time and a polite but consistent refusal to jump at their command on my part, outrage, whining and indignation on theirs.

Well done. You should be proud of yourself.

I would say one thing though...if a replacement suddenly appears now, dont immediately go back to providing them with childcare. Make them have some time to really consider how they have hurt you and made you feel

Well done for standing up to her.

#precious

She must have come back quickly?

Eww. They’re THOSE types of parents. Kid can do no wrong - until it’s the mum’s Jo Malone candle that’s been smashed or the dad’s posh coffee gadget that’s been broken in two 😅

Absolutely don’t give it to her! Write it off as a bad job and ask them not to leave her unsupervised in your home next time. I would never let my kid just run off and do whatever in anyone’s home. I would also return any Christmas gifts that are returnable and recoup the costs 🤣

@SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament it's showing as read, so either she's gone off on one or she's doing bath time, I did try to time it right so I have a bit of peace before she comes back 😅

Excellent move!
Frankly I was finding all the references to how pleased they were that she was a "girly girl" and loved make up so much a bit toe curling. Like we had gone back 50 years. One less Barbie for this little girl is a good idea.

A recorder should be suitably annoying. Not sure why it has to be a Frozen one, but I guess it is probably less expensive than a serious make and doubtless will sound worse.

Is it to late to change it to a mouth organ?

Next time she makes a rude comment about what you're wearing, tell it's rude to male remarks about people's appearance or roll your eyes and go full teenager 'whatever'.

Also I get the impression your DSis (and BiL potentially) are jealous of your freedom and they constantly negg you about it. You have the freedom to buy a phone case for £38 while they are probably having to budget and not be frivolous. She looks down on your choice of holiday because she feels like she has to go to those family resort places (I bet it’s IKOS darling 🤣🤣) and you can do whatever you bloody well feel like.

Ignore her!! You are 25 and enjoying yourself - just have fun.

I think it's a great way to message your sister. You've done nothing wrong. They need to take responsibility.
Their response should have been an immediate I'm really sorry let me replace it and tell DN off.

Good for you! I would recoup my money at Xmas. Nothing for bil and Dsis and a token gift for your niece.

Well done op. If she can’t even replace an item her child’s ruined no way should she be getting free childcare.

Even if Sen the child should be being watched so it shouldn't happen, fed up with seeing stuff like this trying to excuse everything because of sen instead of supervising Sen children properly.

You're sister and BIL are bang out of order. They're doing your niece a disservice letting her behave like that.

Back in my day if someone pissed you off you gave their kid Moon Sand for Christmas. That's what I would do. It won't replace your phone case but it will give you joy.

She's angry, asking me to reconsider, to still babysit for them this weekend, promising a replacement... feeling really pissed off to be honest

Ah she’s only sorry now because she got plans.

I mean if you decide to change your mind I’d want the replacement in hand before the baby sitting.

I wouldn’t though I’m stubborn.