Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

Someone on here once recommended a perfume kit for a child. I believe they said it stinks AND it stains. Plus, it's such a lovely present for a girly girl!

This is actually very simple - their child broke your item - they should be replacing it not trying to laugh it off or blame you . £38 is a lot , but isn’t outside their budget to replace - it’s not like she’s broken a window or the tv or something and they would be struggling to cover the unexpected cost .

It’s probably not something that you can keep pushing but remember it going forward and treat them accordingly . You deserve better treatment from your sister than that

I'd also say it was also a life lesson in empathy and considering others' feelings for the child in question. As in - imagine if someone damaged your favourite teddy or scribbled all over something precious to you because they liked it, you would be upset, wouldn't you? etc. Just because a child has done this to an adult's possessions, the feelings are the same.

Ebay are selling them for about £14. Not sure if they are genuine but could do as a replacement.
I would definitely return her Barbie doll and give her the drawn on phone!

You are being treated very badly by your sister, OP, and it looks as though her husband and child are also being encouraged to treat you badly.

What on earth has it got to do with her what you spend your money on? Does she ask your opinion on what she buys?

I wonder whether your losing weight is seen by her as shifting the balance of the relationship. Was she always slimmer than you? If so, maybe that's exactly how she liked it - she could feel sorry for you, give you tons of (unwanted) advice and revel in thinking she's more attractive. Now you're getting out of your box, as she sees it.

Personally I'd see a lot less of them. Never mind how your aunt treated you - that's irrelevant. Your niece is spoiled and badly behaved. She's also very immature for five - every five year old I know would know not to do that sort of thing - it's something a toddler might do. In future I'd hide absolutely everything away from them all and tell them nothing about my life.

Your sister is used to treating you as younger and less grownup. But you are all adults now so you need to start asserting yourself. Is she the only one who criticise what you spend money on, or is this a family thing?
It's also crossed my mind that she may be a little jealous of your freedom so she's kidding herself that you made poor choices. She might not be aware she's doing it.

If the OP replaces the case and the child wants to look at it or play with it again, that's a great time to say, sorry no, because you ruined my last one and it upset me. At 5, the child is old enough to understand that.

She is 5. Most 5 year olds know that they shouldn’t scribble on other people’s things.

DITTO

Again I say: playpen for the big five year old baby next time.

The thread reminded me of that SATC episode too!

Wow
Your sister sounds inconsiderate
The least she should do is replace it.
Stand firm. Assert yourself. Send her a link for a replacement.

I have a 5yo girly girl who would absolutely obsess over a lip balm holding phone cover 😂 but if she stole and vandalised one that belonged to someone else oh my God she would be in so much trouble!! I would definitely replace and I think I’d probably make DD pay me back. I’d be mortified! Now, my 2yo DD I might expect that from. But would still replace!!

They sound quite judgy in a bad way. And like they’re jealous of you and don’t like you to have nice things. I would return the Barbie and anything bought for the parents and buy something about half the price in each case.

And I would walk back the baby sitting by maybe 50% because you can’t trust her alone in your flat.

“ access to a phone.” This makes it sound like plutonium…

I’d actually get her Christmas present out, and show it to her. Tell her that you’re returning it and she can have the case instead. And do it!

They’re twats. Truly. I’d go nuclear on them, demand a replacement and if they fail, then I really wouldn’t bother with them or their entitled and destructive child.

Write your name on their car, or TV or whatever. That makes it yours...

@fitzwilliam, I've never watched that! I'll take a look

I thought you were going to say it was a few hundred quid, but most decent phone cases are £15-20. Either way, she ruined it and they a) have to step as parents, apologise and replace it and b) they really should have told her off and made sure she had a consequence. At 5, she is old enough to be told that what she has done is naughty and that she can’t watch paw patrol for 2 days as punishment…

I’d actually shave a bit of each of their gifts. The parents are as much to blame.

They’re twats!!

You might be able to get the marks off by scrubbing with alcohol hand rub. If it was my 5 year old then I'd be reminding her that we only draw on paper and ask permission to draw on anything else and I'd be making her have a really good go at cleaning it off even if I thought it was futile. If she repeatedly did it I'd be banning all colouring pens that leave a stain. She's plenty old enough to learn that this isn't cute and it isn't acceptable but unfortunately it's her parent's job to teach her that not your's

Is this an AD from Rhode?

lol, no, but if they wanted to sponsor me on the back of this post I would not say no 🤣