Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

Try hand sanitiser to remove pen marks. I would not be impressed with their reaction or how they are raising their child. Consider them a warning op, and learn from their mistakes for when you have children.

I'd be tempted to go to their house and ruin something of theirs of equal value and then tell them "if they didn't want it damaging, they should have looked after it better".

@IMustDoMoreExercise they know what I have for her though, because on the occasions when she's stayed over I've said "don't bring XYZ, I have that here"

No. It's her parents' fault for not watching her.

@shiverm
Curious who were these random children and why did 3 separate families stop at yours? 😂😂

Their reaction actually makes me rage for you.
I also think that’s why they should be replacing it. I would be mortified of my child did that and so should they.
Also she’s 5! She’s well past her drawing on peoples property stage.

No, I meant that they didn't know that your phone was accessible to her.

Their reaction was disgusting. She should have been told off at the very least.

But I think that you need to make your place child proof or watch your niece like a hawk like I used to which is very stressful but less stressful than having to deal with the results of her behaviour.

But her parents would not know what she had access to a phone in someone else's house.

But I agree that the parents are very careless. I wouldn't let my child wander around a house with bleach etc.

But their reaction showed that they are not good parents.

Wtf is wouldn't give it to her, my son never did anything like that at 5 and wouldn't have either, parents sound like they let her get away with everything

Disappointing your sister did not offer to replace it.

Personally, I'd get a refund on the niece's presents to cover the cost of replacing the phone case. If there is any money left over, I'd use it to buy some token bits from Poundland (books, arts and crafts etc.) for her.

If my 4yo did this to my sister's phone case I would absolutely replace it, and the 4yo would get a serious talking to. Just unacceptable both from the child and the parents.

Whilst a drum kit sounds like an excellent idea for revenge, @losingweightandgainingconfidence, I would suggest that you tell your sister and BIL that the phone case is now your niece's Christmas present - then return the Barbie, and put that money towards a new phone case!

If one of my kids had ruined something like that, I would definitely be offering to replace it - and frankly, if your sister and her husband are not willing to watch their child, and parent her (instead of considering it 'cute' when she uses stuff she shouldn't, and ruins it), then they need to bear the financial consequences of that.

Congratulations on your weight loss - and you deserve a reward for it.

But that's not what you said, you didn't think she was 'off playing' at all, because you specifically said in your OP that she was 'off colouring somewhere' ..

I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere.

What was she colouring on? Did she have some paper, books etc?

It goes without saying that a 5 year old should not be colouring on peoples things, and they would know that, but that's still no reason to leave a 5 year old unsupervised with pens in a completely different room, why wasn't she colouring in the room with you?

1. When you said it was an obscene amount of money for a luxury phone case, I was thinking £300, not £38!!!
2. You are allowed to spend your wages how you like. If they notice a new item, all you need to say is, “Thank you.” If they press further, you could reply with a simple, “Thanks for your concern. I’m following a monthly budget in order to reach my financial goals. Let me know if you’d like me to sit down with you to go through your incomings and outgoings to help you set one up—I’m happy to help!”
3. You were not babysitting. They were the adults in charge, and took their eyes off of their offspring, who destroyed property. It doesn’t matter if the item was £5 or £500–the onus is on them to supervise their child, to raise a child who knows not to destroy property, and to replace any items that said child destroys.
4. If this were me, I’d return their Christmas gifts and use the refund to replace the destroyed phone case.

I use hand gel at school to get any kind of pen off anything.

Agree with the others - parents should absolutely not condone this kind of behaviour.

Oh - and there are some on Ebay at the moment, around £23.

@sandyhappypeople colouring and playing are pretty interchangeable, she has a little corner with some things - some toys, colouring books etc., she took herself off because she was bored because we were talking about work

Try hairspray before acetone. Great for removing biro marks

@IMustDoMoreExercise

it is NOT OP’s fault. Soz. A five year old should know not to draw on other people’s possessions.

And again @sandyhappypeople I'm not her mum or dad, so I didn't think I needed to have eyes in the back of my head

Yeah - I wouldn't be presenting Sis and BiL with any gifts. I'd also wrap the damaged phone case up for DNiece and if they complain (they really shouldn't as they know what the background to the situation) then just say really matter of fact "Well, I was about to get you something but I had an unexpected expense, you know. Maybe next year"

Give DNiece noisy toys and glittery gifts for the foreseeable.

Ignore her. Sandy's clearly on the sniff for an argument.

I’d return all of the gifts and wrap up the phone case and put SISTER’S name on the label.

So it's all OP's fault and her sister and BIL (the parents) are blameless? Why weren't the parents watching her like a hawk? They would realise, more than OP, that their 5 year old would do something like this.

The permissivity of some people on this thread!

Like merry fuck should the girl get the phone case.

The "parents" need to stump up.