Aibu not letting dd open gifts

[Bdayupset]

Dd is 9 today. She's been waking me up periodically since 3am asking to open her gifts. I've been sleepily telling her it's too early. It's now 5.55 and we're about to get up, as a family (me, dh and 2 ds) and open her gifts etc.

She's extremely emotional, crying, saying it's the worst day ever. I feel bad I've ruined her bday by not letting her open her gifts.

Aibu?

Well she’s crying now because she’s tired but that was self inflicted and I’m sure you are also tired after being woken multiple times.

if she’s saying it’s the worst day ever you need to have a short sharp word right now…

no Katie it is not the worst day ever. Mum and dad have bought you these lovely gifts and you had (insert party, family meal anything else) you are being mean because you are tired and that’s not ok. If you carry on being mean we will stop opening presents.

and then follow through. She isn’t a toddler and getting up at 3 am is ridiculous and mine would have got short shrift for doing the same. They might get up earlier than usual but not the middle of the night and expect me to get up! She does sound spoilt if she had a genuine expectation you would all do that

I start work at 6am. Lots of lucky people here who get to lounge around all morning.

Came here cos I was so seriously doubting myself if I was being cruel or not. Clearly, I'm quite a nice person compared to some, albeit a bit soft. I'll take that.

She managed to get over herself and was very happy, and very grateful, for all her gifts. Went off to school in a good mood, knowing she can ride her pony after school and we'll let her ride her new car round the grounds, she'll have to wait to get her licence before getting out on the road. The prada handbag and rolex should soften the blow. Dinner later; we've booked Gordon ramsey for a private meal in our home
Toodle pip

You are not wrong

you start work at 6am and you are posting at 5.57...Sure Jan.

I love when people can't see outside their own little box. I work from home.

Sure 😂

You're weird

Yikes. Your nicer than me. If she had come in at 3am I would have told her that if she comes in again before 6am she can wait until after school

Absolutely not unreasonable! I allow 45 mins earlier wake up on school day birthdays to open presents (so around 6:30am) and Christmas morning is no earlier than 7:30am.

If she pulls this shit on Christmas Day then I'd tell her that for every hour she wakes you up too early that's an extra hour she has to wait to open presents after everyone else. If she wants to wake up early that's on her but she isn't to disturb anyone else.

No way would she have been allowed to open presents at 3am!

The fact you expect it on Christmas Day shows she’s spoilt.

you can joke about the ponies etc but I hope your take away from this is that this isn’t normal behaviour at 9 years old

You absolutely did the right thing, hopefully you are only doubting it because you are also shattered after a bad nights sleep. Take a minute to think about the alternative, all of you getting up at 3am and opening presents, then what.... it's daft, you know that really.

The only thing I think you need to be careful about is taking "big feelings" too seriously. You can be kind without getting emotionally invested. It will be better for you and your DC for you to hold the line and keep a sense of perspective. It will actually bring her comfort for you not to join in with drama she is creating out of nowhere - otherwise the teenage years are going to leave you emotionally wrought with many sleepless nights.

You know getting up at 3am is not reasonable, you can manage expectations before Christmas in a nice calm way so you all have a nice day after a nights sleep.

At that age I was opening my presents at breakfast with my family. I would not have been allowed to open them during the night.

Haha, for a second I thought that was real (pony, grounds etc).

You haven’t done anything wrong but I would speak to her (nicely) about not repeating it all again at Christmas.

‘Big feelings’. Utter tosh. She was having a tantrum because she was told no. At 9 she is more than old enough to understand that you don’t wake the whole family up at 3 am unless you are unwell.
My 4 year old behaves better than that!

3am no way, 5 maybe!
She'll get over it I'm sure

Last Christmas, DD (who was then 7) woke up at 3am needing the loo and, unfortunately, our bathroom is downstairs so she ended up realising Santa had been already. Because of this, she couldn't get back to sleep. I put her in with me, DH went in spare bed, and insisted we weren't getting up for Christmas until she'd slept some more. Cue exhausted crying that eventually led to sleep. Sounds like your DD is over tired. You certainly haven't ruined her birthday!

Are you serious? Of course she has a lot of growing up to do, she's 9?

Wow some of these responses are awful.

Isn't it obvious the child was tired and overwhelmed from waking periodically since 3am on an exciting day?!

Tell her it isn’t her worse day because it’s still night time. The day starts when it gets light. Well does in my house.

It might help to give her a time on Christmas day for opening presents - e.g 7am, 8am, 9am whatever works for your family.

And a time when she can get out of bed to wake you.

E.g we will be opening presents at 7am, you're not to wake us before 6am.

Make sure she has a clock in her room. That way she can manage her own emotions with the countdown - 1hr to go, 30 minutes to go etc etc. Rather than waiting for Mum to just wake up.

It worked for me as a kid at that age.

This.

My SD woke us up 4am when she was 10 because she wanted to open her Christmas presents. We had no idea what time it was because our phones were downstairs. We were just getting up when we heard my BIL tell her to bugger off and then shriek at her that it was only 4am. Needless to say she was sent back to bed until 8am. YANBU given that she has been up and down since 3

For Christmas - use a cheap digital alarm clock

cover the minutes with a post it note so there is no confusion - so only the hours showing.

tell her clearly and firmly that until the number is 6 (or 7 or whatever hour you deem acceptable to get up - she has to stay in her room unless she needs the toilet / is ill)

if this is not followed - there will be no presents until after lunch (or whatever consequence will work)

if she doesn’t know / understand numbers etc - you do the same with a little light on a timer switch - not allowed to wake the household until the light is on (or off - whatever you prefer)

Can practice this on the few days running up to Christmas and praise her to high heaven if she succeeds.

really good way to learn about delayed gratification and getting up at a reasonable hour. Yes Christmas / birthdays etc are exciting - but there is no fun in an over excited / over tired child and parents from being kept up all night…

Be like Charli XCX and let DD know that brat is over.

A 9 year old stamping and tantruming like a toddler…
Most of us teach our kids they have to wait until the big hand is one one number and the little on another when they are about 4!

That's ridiculous at her age.