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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu not letting dd open gifts

128 replies

Bdayupset · 17/12/2024 05:57

Dd is 9 today. She's been waking me up periodically since 3am asking to open her gifts. I've been sleepily telling her it's too early. It's now 5.55 and we're about to get up, as a family (me, dh and 2 ds) and open her gifts etc.

She's extremely emotional, crying, saying it's the worst day ever. I feel bad I've ruined her bday by not letting her open her gifts.

Aibu?

OP posts:
mitogoshigg · 17/12/2024 07:56

@creamsnugjumper

Exactly, I'm not a perfect mother and at 3 am I would have not minced my words either. But then mine would not even try as I said in my previous post, you set the expectations from toddlerhood.

MaltipooMama · 17/12/2024 08:01

You have definitely not done anything wrong here, waking up before 6am would be an absolute no go. But no need from anyone for name calling and horrible comments, she's an over-tired, over-stimulated, over-excited little girl! Her emotions have completely ran away with her (she is a child after all!) and I agree with some of the other comments to try and get her to have a little nap at some point so you all can enjoy the day. Hope she has a lovely birthday!

Justsayit123 · 17/12/2024 08:04

your dd is being silly. She will calm down soon.

biscuitsandbooks · 17/12/2024 08:06

WhatsItWorthToYou · 17/12/2024 06:22

Some ludicrous responses

She's clearly overwhelmed and over tired. Does she have additional needs?

It's not ludicrous to expect a nine year old not to wake everyone up at 3am and cry because she can't open her presents at the crack of dawn.

If she was three or four, you might have a point.

ChanelBoucle · 17/12/2024 08:06

Blimey OP you’d better set some firmer boundaries because she’ll be a right one by the time she hits her teens.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 17/12/2024 08:07

Hide her Christmas presents and for each time she whines to open them, set the time back half an hour. She's old enough to know better!

Onlyvisiting · 17/12/2024 08:07

Bdayupset · 17/12/2024 06:31

Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the worst mother ever! Although clearly I'm raising a 'horrible spoiled brat', so maybe I am!

I fully expect the same thing at Xmas unfortunately. Will try and set some boundaries and expectations now.

I agree, she was definitely over tired, which led to big emotions.

Thanks everyone x

I would change it now (and explain it clearly) that birthday presents are after breakfast, for Christmas if you do stockings then maybe stockings to open I'm bed and the rest later. But whatever routine works for you, just make it very clear it's never 'presents as soon as you wake up' then there is no 'but I'm awake so it counts'
And honestly, I could understand it at 4 or 5 that she has been told tomorrow is her birthday and she gets presents on her birthday, then logically when she is awake she thinks it is tomorrow and presents will arrive. But at 9 I'm quite surprised at this behaviour and reaction, what did you do for her 8th birthday? Do they normally get gifts as soon as they wake?

isthesolution · 17/12/2024 08:10

Start telling her now that Santa doesn't come until 6am so absolutely no getting up before then on Xmas!

biscuitsandbooks · 17/12/2024 08:14

Everyone saying she's a child and excited - she's allowed to be - but that doesn't mean she can wake everyone up at 3am and then cry and complain she's having the "worst day ever" because she had to wait until 6am for her gifts.

I remember frequently waking up at silly times on my birthday and at Christmas, but there's absolutely no way I'd have been allowed to wake up my parents because of it.

travelallthetime · 17/12/2024 08:14

Mine were (are) always like that. I sent them back to bed too. Not a bad mum, just a normal mum who needs sleep!
Even now at 17 & 14 we have already had a discussion about not getting up before 7am on xmas day 😂apparently im a fun sucker! They never get up normally, I dont know how they manage it on xmas day as neither of the buggers can get to sleep either, at least I can just close their doors and take presents down these days, we once waiting until 2am before the little sods had gone to sleep!

CrystalMud · 17/12/2024 08:15

Bdayupset · 17/12/2024 06:31

Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the worst mother ever! Although clearly I'm raising a 'horrible spoiled brat', so maybe I am!

I fully expect the same thing at Xmas unfortunately. Will try and set some boundaries and expectations now.

I agree, she was definitely over tired, which led to big emotions.

Thanks everyone x

Might it help to set a time in advance for when you will open presents?

Some kids get very overexcited and find it hard to cope with these sorts of things. One of mine does so I tend to be really clear on how the day will go, what time and order things happen in to help reduce anxiety.

Theperenniallaunderess · 17/12/2024 08:24

I used to have to wait to open presents until after school - I hated it at the time but it was nice to do it in the evening when everyone was less in a rush.

Ariela · 17/12/2024 08:27

At 9, we had to be up, dressed, brought a cup of tea up for parents, made and eaten our breakfast and washed up before presents!

Don't forget to remind her that she cannot get up too early because Santa might not have been and he doesn't visit children that are still awake/tell her that present opening will not be until (time) so there is no point in her getting up before x time.
We had stockings to wake up to, and then main presents were after lunch, after the Queen's Speech. My parents eked out presents from others (cousins, friends of family) to opening on subsequent days, so Christmas pretty much lasted half the holidays

LostittoBostik · 17/12/2024 08:28

This is a horribly cruel thread in many ways.

Iliketulips · 17/12/2024 08:29

Don't feel bad. She's nine years old and should be starting to realise things happen a certain way for a reason. Guess she'd just got a bit too excited and couldn't sleep, but you did totally the right thing. She's just hitting out at you as she's upset and frustrated she's had to wait. I'd have a gentle chat in a couple of days explaining why you all need sleep, ie school, work, safety, and maybe point out how Xmas Day will work, no matter what she wants.

Tiredalwaystired · 17/12/2024 08:30

She’s crying cos she’s knackered.

leia24 · 17/12/2024 08:30

No one would have let her get up at 3am to open presents because that really isn't a thing

Skyrainlight · 17/12/2024 08:33

At 9 that is brat behaviour. I'd nip it in the bud and tell her if she does it again at Christmas there will be no presents next year.

Rickrolypoly · 17/12/2024 08:42

I cant imagine being woken at 6 am after an already bad nights sleep and the first thing I do is reach for my phone to post on MN and ask people if they think I should let my child open her birthday presents... I just cant.

Skyrainlight · 17/12/2024 08:43

Lellojello · 17/12/2024 07:34

Threads like this always entertain. The ouraged falling over themselves to be horrified, calling posts 'despicable' 😂

I've 2 dd's past 9, one not that long ago, this would not have been tolerated in my home. According to OP, waking them up 'periodically from 3 am' !!
Mess with my sleep and I would have thrown the bloody presents over the back fence!!

As for her exclaiming it's the worst day ever, I would probably take her up on that... This child does need some firmer boundaries I would say. At 9 she should know this is unacceptable - being excited is understandable but behaving like a toddler isn't.

Sanity! With some of the attitudes in this thread it's no wonder people have little monsters that make their life a misery because they have never been taught that the world does not revolve around them. These are lessons children need to learn or life is going to be very difficult for them as they get older.

Dollshousedolly · 17/12/2024 08:49

Your DD isn’t going to have the best of days, all down to her own behaviour. She’s already upset, she’s upset others in the house. She’s going to be tired all day and has already opened her birthday gifts. What’s her plans for the rest of the day??

In our house, birthday gifts are opened at breakfast time. If that falls on a school day, it does mean getting up maybe 30 minutes earlier.

I’d be laying firm boundaries now for Christmas, no going downstairs before 7.00am, even if you are awake all night. I’d also be having a firm chat with your DD tomorrow and tell her that her behaviour was unacceptable, she upset everyone and caused others to have no sleep, meaning everyone had to go to work and school on little sleep and frazzled after her childish tantrums. Birthday or not, she needs to have a good thing about her behaviour.

Differentstarts · 17/12/2024 08:51

Bdayupset · 17/12/2024 06:31

Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the worst mother ever! Although clearly I'm raising a 'horrible spoiled brat', so maybe I am!

I fully expect the same thing at Xmas unfortunately. Will try and set some boundaries and expectations now.

I agree, she was definitely over tired, which led to big emotions.

Thanks everyone x

Does she have a clock in her room, you need to pick a time and say you are not allowed to leave your room or wake others until this specific time

getsomehelp · 17/12/2024 08:54

Tell her she gets her present at tea time with bday cake & if she keeps up this tantrum its all cancelled

Tourmalines · 17/12/2024 09:03

Rickrolypoly · 17/12/2024 08:42

I cant imagine being woken at 6 am after an already bad nights sleep and the first thing I do is reach for my phone to post on MN and ask people if they think I should let my child open her birthday presents... I just cant.

lol , no wonder child is confused because the parent doesn't know what to do either . Rules need to be set .

biscuitsandbooks · 17/12/2024 09:03

LostittoBostik · 17/12/2024 08:28

This is a horribly cruel thread in many ways.

What's cruel about it?