DH ruined my lunch.

[TwigletsAndRadishes]

AIBU? I don't know why I am asking really, I know I am not. I need to vent.

Bought two of those plastic trays of mixed salad from the self service salad bar at Morrisons. All sorts in them. A curried rice thing, a pesto pasta, grated cheese, lettuce/tomato/cucumber, coleslaw, beetroot salad, hard boiled eggs, potato salad, some sort of couscous thing. I did my best to place each different spoonful of stuff into its own corner of the tray with something else layered on top, like lettuce or tomato, or hard boiled egg, so it wouldn't be too much of a mixed up mush and it would still be possible (ish) to separate the different elements onto a plate at home. Ok, so it was never going to be easy/perfect, but not completely impossible.

DH asked if he should dish up lunch. I said yes, if you like.

I came in to find that he's tipped both trays of salad into one huge bowl and mixed the entire lot up so it looked like pigswill. WTF? Why would you even do that? It looked the scrapings off people's plates after they'd finished eating.

I was just incredulous and so exasperated. I said 'what the hell did you do that for? What on earth were you thinking? That's going to be disgusting.'

He was then furious at me for being furious at him. Apparently it was just too difficult to separate the different salads so he had 'no choice' but mix it all together and he just knew I'd moan about it, because I moan about everything. And I shouldn't have asked him to dish up (I didn't) if I don't like the way he does things and I can do everything myself in future because all I ever do is criticise and never say anything positive to anyone.

So he knew I'd moan, but he did it anyway?

He sat there pretending to enjoy his dog's dinner of coleslaw mixed with curried rice, grated cheese, pesto pasta and beetroot with soggy bits of lettuce in it and I took two mouthfuls and felt faintly sick. I don't have sensory issues, I'm not a fussy eater and I am not the type who can't have different foods touching on the plate, but even I have my limits.

I had a tin of soup instead. I am not being unreasonable am I?

This reaction sounds a bit pathetic. As my Nan used to say, it all goes down the same hole.

Do you often mix your dessert with your main course? After all it just goes down the same hole. 🙄

This would upset me too and I absolutely couldn't eat it mixed.

Id be tempted to put his Christmas dinner in the blender and make him a smoothie out of it when the time comes...

You wanted to have your salad for a meal, not have the whole thing ruined by some fucknugget.

Surely that rules out a lot of food

If he has any sense, he understandably won't offer to do anything else food/kitchen related ever again.
You've made a rod for your own back. See you here in a few years when you are moaning that he doesn't help around house!

No, I eat them separately at different times off different plates.

But from one plate of different salads, I'd certainly eat different elements together on the same forkful.

The smell of the salad bar in Morrisons was one of my major morning sickness triggers, and this has brought it all back 🤢🤢

Did he really think this was the best way to serve it? Or was he setting you up for an argument where he'd get to play the "hen-pecked husband"?

That’s a very limited specific way, OP.

You could dismiss about 90% of mumsnet as first world problems, and there is nothing exceptional about this particular post. Just another arsehole husband.

No, not in this case. The OP is just as much of an arsehole for being so wound up about a pile of shite being plated incorrectly.

Yes I was guilty of that I admit, hence why he obviously found it a bit challenging to separate each element. I get it. I didn't expect or need perfectly separated foods. Honestly, I am not that anal about it. But if it was that tricky to dish up then why not just put both trays on the table and we each could spoon our own out and eat a bit at a time until it was easier to access the next bit? At what point do you look at both trays and think 'I know....' 😂

It is. To mix them as in choose a selection and eat them side by side. Not mix them together literally.

Bleurgh! It must have looked as though someone had thrown up.

Don't be a twat.

I don't get why people are finding it so difficult to understand

It's a spoon of different salads, if you tip it out from the tub each salad stays separate even though some might be mixed or touching

Or you get hold of the tub and vigorously shake it until it's all in a giant mush of unidentifiable slop

I voted YABU but i don’t mean to down play your frustration at this at all. By the sound of it, you were looking forward to your lunch, took care of how to pack it and even got one for your husband.

I do wonder though if other things have happened or if you feel anxious or irritated about other things. How is your communication with your partner generally? Does he usually get defensive when you bring something up?
you said he has accused you of always moaning - could he be interpreting what you are saying as ‘moaning’ when it is really not what you intend to do.
if he feels attacked, its only natural for your husband to try to defend himself.

it may not be what you want to hear, but i think it might help if you work on how to bring something up with him and he could work on hearing what you are actually saying. At the end of the day, i think you were just trying to express a preference and he took it as a personal criticism.

I’d try something like “I’m worried this meal won’t taste good now it’s all mixed up”. Hopefully that would stop the situation escalating into an argument and stop him from ever doing it again 🤢

Everything. Most people would buy something that makes a nice salad together 😂 the little plastic bowls are hardly made to separate.

Yes, some. And that's absolutely fine.

No need to make it worse to the point where it's downright peculiar tasting and looks like something only fit for the bin.

Much ado about nothing … is there anything that people don’t moan about on here 🙄
Another male who can’t do right for doing wrong!

Husbands are a different breed of twat sometimes 😂👌🏼 this story really made me chuckle as it’s something that a man would just really do without thinking. Not chuckling about him being rude to you though, tell him to pull out his tampon and grow up 😂

You could have maybe given some guidance. Seems like he made an honest mistake, while just trying to be helpful

He asked her if he should serve lunch. So he was being preemptively incompetent in the event that she may at some future date ask him to make lunch?

This was my gut reaction too… if my DP did this I would definitely be like ???? But would probably laugh at him rather than be furious. And then make toast or something and move on with my life.