DH ruined my lunch.

[TwigletsAndRadishes]

AIBU? I don't know why I am asking really, I know I am not. I need to vent.

Bought two of those plastic trays of mixed salad from the self service salad bar at Morrisons. All sorts in them. A curried rice thing, a pesto pasta, grated cheese, lettuce/tomato/cucumber, coleslaw, beetroot salad, hard boiled eggs, potato salad, some sort of couscous thing. I did my best to place each different spoonful of stuff into its own corner of the tray with something else layered on top, like lettuce or tomato, or hard boiled egg, so it wouldn't be too much of a mixed up mush and it would still be possible (ish) to separate the different elements onto a plate at home. Ok, so it was never going to be easy/perfect, but not completely impossible.

DH asked if he should dish up lunch. I said yes, if you like.

I came in to find that he's tipped both trays of salad into one huge bowl and mixed the entire lot up so it looked like pigswill. WTF? Why would you even do that? It looked the scrapings off people's plates after they'd finished eating.

I was just incredulous and so exasperated. I said 'what the hell did you do that for? What on earth were you thinking? That's going to be disgusting.'

He was then furious at me for being furious at him. Apparently it was just too difficult to separate the different salads so he had 'no choice' but mix it all together and he just knew I'd moan about it, because I moan about everything. And I shouldn't have asked him to dish up (I didn't) if I don't like the way he does things and I can do everything myself in future because all I ever do is criticise and never say anything positive to anyone.

So he knew I'd moan, but he did it anyway?

He sat there pretending to enjoy his dog's dinner of coleslaw mixed with curried rice, grated cheese, pesto pasta and beetroot with soggy bits of lettuce in it and I took two mouthfuls and felt faintly sick. I don't have sensory issues, I'm not a fussy eater and I am not the type who can't have different foods touching on the plate, but even I have my limits.

I had a tin of soup instead. I am not being unreasonable am I?

I'd hate that too and be irrationally annoyed

Just coming along to say I always eat my Morrisons salad bar all mixed up, I didn’t realise it was considered to be so weird. Yikes!

You stir all the different pre-made salads together, to make one pasta/potato/quinoa/rice/coleslaw salad?

I mean, of course that's unusual. Even ignoring the clashing dressings, have you ever encountered anywhere selling a salad that has a pasta, potato, quinoa and rice base? I haven't ever seen any two of them involved in the same salad, let alone all 4 together.

I feel your pain but am really sorry but that has made me laugh so much. Lesson learnt I trust?. !!!

He sounds a bit stupid or maybe just your average male. But do you actually always moan and criticise your DH OP? Or is he just making that up?

I like my Morrisons salad all mixed up

Just what I was thinking, aka strategic incompetence. Men are past masters at it.

So if men are masters of weaponised incompetence I would confidently say that woman are masters of setting traps for men to fail so they can go off on one at them, just like this ridiculous salad scenario!

Next time, serve up the contents of your food compost bin and see if he notices.

You’re completely right, it’s not usual to have them all together. But that’s the beauty of a salad bar (imo), much like a buffet where you might have unusual foods together.

I don’t purposely mix them up, but I will dollop whatever I fancy into the container and then just scoop a forkful up and it eat it without giving much thought to what’s on it, so inevitably I’ll be eating a mix of whatever’s in there. I quite like the mishmash. Always sprinkle some cheese on top too.

This post has been very enlightening, I’ll readily admit I’m the weird one! 😂

I don’t purposely mix them up, but I will dollop whatever I fancy into the container and then just scoop a forkful up and it eat it without giving much thought to what’s on it, so inevitably I’ll be eating a mix of whatever’s in there. I quite like the mishmash. Always sprinkle some cheese on top too.
I think that's very different, though? I also dollop in what I fancy, although I normally try to have a "dry" sepeator between things with more sauce.

I'll happily have a couple of different things on a fork - although probably not (for example) curried rice salad and pesto pasta salad on the same fork.

What the OP's DH has gone is taken all the pre-mixed salads, split over two different containers, and tossed/mashed them all together, so that every forkfull is a mix of curry, part pesto, part coleslaw, part egg, part couscous, part lettuce, part beetroot, etc. That doesn't sound like it's what you do?

I’ve said this before but if anyone did respond it’s got lost. Putting any more than one type of salad in one of those boxes it gets mixed up anyway. I don’t understand the drama about it

There’s a difference between them touching/slightly mixing at the edges and being actively mixed all together into one homogenous lump.

I’d be irrationally annoyed. Lunch was indeed ruined.

The difference is marginal.

Not to me.

Maybe next time put smaller amounts ino each one, so they're sort of the sameme, then just tip it on the plate

That has not been my experience and I often get salad bar salads.

Yes, adjacent contents might get a little mixed at the edges, but they never come out looking like the whole thing has been thoroughly stirred and mashed.

Maybe you leave loads of empty space in the container then take it for a long, vigorous jog?

How can you eat food from a communal salad bar? all sorts of people touch the food with dirty hands🤮 🤮 I say this someone who is not crazily germ phobic

This

I understand your point- but the way you spoke to him!

Why did you speak to him in that frankly disgusting way, and then act surprised at his reaction.
You have said the food is like pigswill- and he’s eaten it. What’s the message about what you think of him there?

I think he is probably right that you are a moaner. It’s clear you have no insight at all into your part in this, and have no interest in doing so.

If you want a happy relationship- don’t speak to people like that. Know one deserves that- couldn’t you just say you were disappointed without making it clear that you think he is a load of old shit.

I sort of get what you mean, but on the other hand I really wouldn't want to eat curry, egg mayonnaise, potatoes and pesto pasta in the same meal anyway.

Mixing it all together just highlights how incompatible the various elements are.

Since when has this been an acceptable way to speak to people?

Transporting it from supermarket to home may as well be a vigorous jog. It 100% got mixed up anyway on that journey. Anything with a liquid sauce like coleslaw, pesto will have definitely mixed into each other. Dry salads like couscous and pasta might have stayed separate.

Surely that depends partly on the shape and aerodynamics of the tub? Some of them have a separating wall between compartments.

There may be leakage depending on viscosity, but you'd also have to take into account the differing absorbency of, say, cous cous and cucumber chunks, and how that changes over time spent sitting in the salad bar.

May also have to factor in jogging style, whether DH is a heel striker, the undulatory degree of terrain.

So many variables! Someone should do a study.