DH ruined my lunch.

[TwigletsAndRadishes]

AIBU? I don't know why I am asking really, I know I am not. I need to vent.

Bought two of those plastic trays of mixed salad from the self service salad bar at Morrisons. All sorts in them. A curried rice thing, a pesto pasta, grated cheese, lettuce/tomato/cucumber, coleslaw, beetroot salad, hard boiled eggs, potato salad, some sort of couscous thing. I did my best to place each different spoonful of stuff into its own corner of the tray with something else layered on top, like lettuce or tomato, or hard boiled egg, so it wouldn't be too much of a mixed up mush and it would still be possible (ish) to separate the different elements onto a plate at home. Ok, so it was never going to be easy/perfect, but not completely impossible.

DH asked if he should dish up lunch. I said yes, if you like.

I came in to find that he's tipped both trays of salad into one huge bowl and mixed the entire lot up so it looked like pigswill. WTF? Why would you even do that? It looked the scrapings off people's plates after they'd finished eating.

I was just incredulous and so exasperated. I said 'what the hell did you do that for? What on earth were you thinking? That's going to be disgusting.'

He was then furious at me for being furious at him. Apparently it was just too difficult to separate the different salads so he had 'no choice' but mix it all together and he just knew I'd moan about it, because I moan about everything. And I shouldn't have asked him to dish up (I didn't) if I don't like the way he does things and I can do everything myself in future because all I ever do is criticise and never say anything positive to anyone.

So he knew I'd moan, but he did it anyway?

He sat there pretending to enjoy his dog's dinner of coleslaw mixed with curried rice, grated cheese, pesto pasta and beetroot with soggy bits of lettuce in it and I took two mouthfuls and felt faintly sick. I don't have sensory issues, I'm not a fussy eater and I am not the type who can't have different foods touching on the plate, but even I have my limits.

I had a tin of soup instead. I am not being unreasonable am I?

Those salads really need eating straight out of the box.

YABU for putting non complementary salads into the same bowl in the first place. Either fill it with one type of salad or if you must have a selection then only put in different salads that actually work together in terms of flavour. Better still just make your own, salad bars are almost always a bit grim hygiene wise and never actually taste that great.

He's a moron and tjat food mixed up sounds disgusting.

I don't have sensory issues and I wouldn't eat that mess.

Twat.

You bought massive plastic trays of salad!? 😱Next you'll be telling us you go to the Toby Carvery.

No seriously, it sounds manky. He ruined your salad.

No, they are actually avante garde art displays, there to be viewed and judged by superior minds.

Brilliance.

As there were two salads bought I would have assumed they were one per person. I’m not sure if I’d even know how to dish it up though, I might have tipped each box in separate dishes? (Or more likely just eaten it out of the box).

Well if no one bought it they wouldn’t have it for sale, would they?🙄

😂this made me chuckle sorry..it's like a comedy sketch

I assume you've never been on an all inclusive holiday 😬

For everyone saying she should have done it herself as her DH wasn't aware of OP's preference why wasn't he?
My DH would know I would hate this

He took his chance to do something that he knew would piss you off, because it pleased him to do so. He really doesn't like you, does he? Living with a passive aggressive man is the pits. I hope you can find a way to live without this grinding, wearying bollocks in your bed and at your table.

I’ve just done a team poll. 5/6 would mix it all together. Only I would try to keep them separate.

It's not like he did it to you. He served his the same way, so he obviously.doesnt see it as a problem.

But unless its a very new relationship why doesn't eh know she doesn't like it?
As I say to DH over some of my "foibles", I don't need him to understand or agree with it, just respect it.

He probably saved you from food poisoning, be grateful!

It really doesn't warrant all the frigging drama, to be quite honest!

Couldn't you just laugh about it

I can’t believe so many people don’t understand how to put a selection of salads on a plate without making a total hash of it.

Id say its a fair point in principle but

1 i dont like OP shirking that she didn't ask him to do it but said yes when he offered and then spoke to him the way she did

1. everyone has foibles and its unreasonable to expect a partner to get it right your own preferred way all the time. The amount of people who argue over toilet seat lids, dishwashers not stacked how the other partner likes it, not taking the empty bottle out of the fridge.

If a foible is that important, I say each time. There aren't many, but stuff like don't put the milk in the tea straight away. Reminding him doesn't mean he is a permanently thoughtless asshole. There are uaually bigger relationship problems where thats a straw breaking the camels back.

Yup, that's fair.

I don't think this is "weaponized incompetence", just incompetence.

dog's dinner of coleslaw mixed with curried rice, grated cheese, pesto pasta and beetroot with soggy bits of lettuce in

That actually sounds delicious. YANBU though.

He’s a bellend. Honestly! I get so frustrated at my fiancées lack of common sense so I totally relate.

probably fine all mixed up

He did it that way because he likes his flavors mixed that way. He didn’t care to consider your preference. He should have apologized and not have been a butt about it.