Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

[Jaffaroo]

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this.

Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond.

This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old.

I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it.

AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

Sigh... I really don't get why breastfeeding human babies and toddlers is so controversial. We're mammals for goodness's sake.
I never planned to be still breastfeeding my son at 3.5 y.o. but here we are. Simply, he still asks for it and I don't refuse, at home as well as in public. I frankly don't care about other people's opinions on me doing so, what matters most is that it remains a great source of comfort for him, which is easy and free to provide.
It has not been all plain sailing, we've had to battle tongue-tie (him) and a period of aversions (me) but we weathered these storms and we just keep going and will carry on as long as it works for both of us, like it's nobody's business :)
Enjoy your breastfeeding journey!

I daresay it's because you are wrong, just hazarding a wild guess....

Once children lose their milk teeth its very difficult for them to get the correct latch, which is why you will rarely find a child over the age of 7 or so who breastfeeds.

I don't have a mental cut off because I know within a couple of years she will have stopped anyway.

This is an interesting comment. I think probably everyone would say once a child reaches 11/12 and starts puberty they shouldn't be breastfed.

In nature we'd probably be constantly pregnant/lactating, so an older child would probably be pushed out by a newborn needing more feeds after a couple of years.

I'm not sure where my cut off would be, but probably around age 2-3

There really isn't a right and wrong though..you just both have different opinions surely??

You're doing a great job!

It just shows you how strong the cultural pressure is on women and small children to stop doing something just because it gives some people the ick.

DC2 stopped at 4 (years) and that was only because I forced the issue. They
Are a student now and can still remember breastfeeding.

It's not a "lifestyle choice" - it's the child's choice!

That’s ridiculous to say that 6 months is too old 😱. if you stopped now you’d have to replace it with formula. What’s the point of that?!
Still feeding my 3 year old over here?
👋 To be fair I’d very much like to stop but she’s having none of it 😆😭

Which bit do you agree with? That it’s weird? That 6 months is too old? That’s it’s ridiculous? Surely not? Such strange ideas!! Babies need feeding with milk, why cows milk instead of human?

I breastfed my DD until she was two. Then she bit me and I was, hmmm, time to stop.

All the extended breastfeeding threads boil down to the same thing:

In favour of it: evidence, both medical and anthropological that is it our biological norm and has multiple benefits

Against it: I just don't like it / I just don't think it's normal / it makes me uncomfortable / I've arbitrarily decided in my head that mothers are doing it for the wrong reasons, despite never having done it myself, because of my uncomfortable feelings

That's literally it. Ignore and continue. Paediatrician seal of approval here.

Thank you x

My children are in their 20s and I think that breastfeeding was probably even less common then than it is now.

I love to see mums nursing babies out and about. I saw a mum bf her baby on an escalator in Italy a couple of weeks ago. I was so impressed!!

In the last 3 days at our local pub I've seen a woman breastfeed a feed a 5 week old and another feed an 11 month old and not one fuck was given in a buy small Local pub. You do you and congratulations on your baby 🥰

How do you know that though?

(I can't say too much because of confidentiality, but I once worked with a client who breastfed beyond the age of 11. Quite a bit beyond. In his case I'd suggest that was abuse. But his mother may have believed it's what he wanted and needed and was healthy? I think at some point a parent has to say enough is enough and this is no longer ok. For me that's by about 3. For others it might be about 5. But I'd say in all but the most extreme cases (such as my client), parents will have a cut off they would not go beyond....

er no, that pp is just wrong.
I definitely do not bf my toddler for my own benefit. It’s uncomfortable/ tiring/ gives me the ick most of the time . I do everything to try to distract/ discourage her. but she’s not emotionally ready to give it up, so I put up with it to give her the comfort she craves .

I breastfed both mine until 2.5 years so 5 years straight. I tandem fed for a bit until my oldest stopped. There were mixed comments but my instinct and bond with my children were so strong I couldn’t give a shit

I don't think the poster is "upset" - just staggered by your ignorance on the subject...

I agree that’s likely to affect people’s feelings on the subject. Once my baby was around 12 months he never asked to breastfeed unless at home & even then it was only if he hurt himself other than on waking in the morning and bedtime. It was very useful when he was admitted to hospital at age 2 and wouldn’t eat or drink though! He was happy to feed for comfort and got hydration and calories that way.

I fed my kids til they were 2.5 and 3. I really couldn’t give a shit what anyone else thought.

The only person to make comments was SIL who was/is a pretty piss poor parent imo and I think her nastiness came from jealousy.

You will get all sorts of comments about everything, sleep, starting solids, behaviour. Just nod and smile and do what you like. You don’t have to do things the way everyone else does just because they say so.

None of the women who berated me about my choices for my babies have particularly healthy relationships with their own kids, interestingly.

This plus 6 months is early to stop breast feeding so not even ‘extended’ breastfeeding

Breastfeeding an almost 8 year old is so inappropriate. Why couldn't you provide comfort in a different way?

It's not about teaching the baby not to bite at all... But about the latch actually. The way breastfeeding works is if the latch is right the baby's tongue covers the teeth. Obviously as the new teeth appear there's a period of latch adjustment but babies are not vampires LOL

Fair play to you - I don't think that would have been for me, but that's an amazing commitment!

I’m saying I find it odd women prolong breast feeding for years when the child can get its dietry requirements from solid. I’m not arguing because that’s right, it’s a fact.

If mothers chose to BF beyond’s say 18 months that’s fine but don’t use the guise “Breast is best” as that no longer works at 4!

Anyway don't let them put you off feeding your 6 month old. I just think breastfeeding is the easiest way to feed at that age. It felt like pay off for those difficult first few months. It's so convenient, such a great way to soothe a cranky baby.

If it is working for both of you now, that's great. Commenting on how other people feed their children is just rude.