Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

[Jaffaroo]

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this.

Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond.

This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old.

I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it.

AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

There's always going to be some outliers that really push it, but the scientifically accepted answer is that most children will self wean between 2-7, with obvious variables.

If my daughter for any reason was still trying to feed past 7, I would be gently encouraging her to stop by then because I think that upper scientific number would be my cut off (after me saying I don't have one!). I don't think my daughter will be feeding by that point as we are down to maybe 2 or 3 minutes a day, if they.

11? Would be too old for me but on a surface level I wouldn't judge, although I'd personally find it a little odd. Different cultures have different beliefs as well, and there could be other reasons why it's OK for them...of course this is without knowing any back story.

I never really considered a "cut off" time although I did wean my eldest two at a year old. I had reasons for that. Would I do it if I had my time again? No. I'd have wanted them to self-wean when they were ready.

I agree and think at 8 it's potentially abuse.

I'm so curious what people.thunknthe cut off should be and why people have different cut off ages in mind. For me I think if the child is aware, has language and can remember/may be able to recall as an adult, then it's too old to be breastfeeding. But how do parents make the distinction between 5, 7, 9, 11, 13? What makes it ok to breastfeed at 6 but not 10?

If people that breastfed til 8 felt their children still wanted to breastfeed, at what age would they say no? Why?

At what age does this become sexual.abuse?

They want it though! Dc1 was plagued by allergies, no diary, soy, egg, nuts and lots of other stuff. So the only alternative to my milk was oat milk, but he was also low weight and oat milk is really not v calorific.

I fed him until he has 3 1/2 and we had worked through a lot of his allergies. His dietician was very much encouraging of this.

Dc2 has no allergies (that we know of). Eill nkor drink any other kind of milk. Just loves boob. She spits out other types of milk. She will drink water sometimes, but as a last resort. She has snaffled the odd sip of dc1 diluted juice, and would be super happy to be given some of that, but I am not going that way with a 2 year old.

I will continue to feed her until she wants to stop. It is the first thing she thinks of in the morning and last at night. She wants it when sleepy, or if she has not been with me for a bit, due to work etc. She wants it when upset, or hurt, both physically or mentally.

She loves it so much. I could be doing without it tbh, but we signed us up for this. Not the kids, so I won't just remove it. It has warded off illness, comforted so many falls/huffs/grave injustices. It is the best distraction from illicit items or sadness'.

I do not know when we will stop. I happy for her to tell me

Two is amazing!

I'm allowing my daughter to self wean. I've followed the do not ask, do not refuse method since she was about 3, although I do refuse sometimes if I don't want to, and she respects that boundary.

Thanks. That's really interesting.

I'm curious at what age it would become abuse? Or be seen as abuse?

Would you gently encourage stopping at 7 simply because of the research? Or is it for other reasons such as the child seeming more aware? Developing more? more likely to remember? Etc..?

Wrong in what sense? 😂

Breastfeed your kids until they’re 11 if you want!

yeh general consensus would be that breastfeeding a 3 year old is OTT. It’s not a right or wrong answer as it’s not illegal but most people in the real word would find it odd, especially if you done it in public. Behind closed doors at home no norm would know so they wouldn’t care but a 3 year old in public is weird!

Breastfeeding isn’t just about nutrition though. It’s about comfort. And some babies aren’t ready to have that cut off at 18 months or whenever you’ve decided it should be.
Breastfeeding is a two way process, and it can be really difficult for to wean a child off before they are ready to let go.

I think my SIL was jealous/somehow felt threatened/I don't know!

We went to meet our nephew in hospital as a newborn. She described her attempts to breastfeed but her bottlefeeding chart was hanging off the end of her bed lol!

I've no idea why she thought I'd care in the slightest!

That’s the point, some mothers seem to want it progress.

This is hilarious 😆 so they don’t get nutrients from the cows milk they drink as part of their diet? You can’t seriously think the mothers get more emotionally than a toddler does from breastfeeding? They get a sleep cue, comfort, quite calm time to wind down, antibodies to fight off bugs (that start to appear in breast milk within 20 minutes of mum coming into contact with a virus or bacteria). All those benefits don’t diminish as the child ages.

Some babies stop on their own after 8 months but I'm still feeding mine at 15 months and he doesn't want to stop which is really hard as I have to travel for work now so I'm doing a lot of pumping.

I'm kind of fed up but he's got a dairy allergy so think alternatives aren't ideal.

It's also hard in public when he's trying to lift up my top especially in awkward locations and then gets distracted while feeding and exposes me 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'd love to feed longer if I wasn't working but I'd quite like to stop now because of the awkwardness of it all.

It's none of their business. I'd say up to 3 is totally normal.

Nope, not an opinion!

To say, "Why does it upset you to know I think breastfeeding past 1.5 years is primarily for the mother’s benefit and breastfeeding a baby is not the same as a toddlers…." is just utterly wrong! Complete bullshit in fact.

They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding.

They said this about a 6mo baby? That’s so bizarre.

The thing with WHO recommendations is that they are global. So, they need to make recommendations that will cover extreme ends of a spectrum, think villages in third world countries affected by drought for decades, widespread malnourishment, lack of clean water etc. They can’t make different recommendations for differing scenarios so cover the lowest base so to speak. It’s fine for people to do what fits with the actual scenario they and baby/toddler are in.

How do you think the human race existed for millennia? Human females have mammary glands just like all other mammals, feeding offspring for the use of. That is literally what they are designed for.

BF wasn't for me, but other people have every right to feed their babies however they wish, and no-one else has the right to criticise those choices.

Eh? Thats not what I said at all.
Mothers don’t want it to progress. Babies do.

Also I find that I'm giving him lots of nutrients, antibodies and comfort makes me happy too. It's just difficult as he wants it all the time and to feed to sleep.

It’s so sad isn’t it that we are socialised to feel like this. It’s so, so common as well. At least you recognise that it’s about you and wouldn’t start telling people it’s weird and they shouldn’t be doing it. No one should feel they have to breastfeed at all, it’s got to be something mum decides for herself completely.

There are other ways to comfort the child.

I need to respond to my child. I need to do what suits us. I do not need to do anything different for anyone else's comfort. I will feed my child when and how I please.

At 4 it’s not! There is a point we say no enough is enough!

Exactly. Total bullshit.

Next time my toddler old is crying for me to feed her, I’ll be sure to call you up so you can tell her that.

You are wrong because you are trying to insinuate that mothers are doing it for their own reasons rather than for the child, which just isn't the case!

For the record, I wouldn't feed a child until 11 and I'd find it most peculiar that a child that age would want to breastfeed.

I don't think it's fair to continue to breastfeed a schoolgoing child but other than that, knock your socks off!