Everyone just assumed they can bring their dogs with them for Christmas day ??

[caninechristmasconundrum]

In the last year 3 members of our family have got dogs (2 puppies 1 older rescue) . We always host for Christmas and I (maybe stupidly) assumed that dogs go to kennels or stay at home for the day ? I’ve never had pets before so will admit I don’t know much ! I don’t see why a few hours at home / in a crate is bad for dogs though? We don’t live that far away.

Seems they all expected to bring their dogs with them ???

After BIL and SIL made this clear and told us that ILs will be the same about their rescue dog I’ve sent a message to everyone saying ‘Really sorry but I think there may have been some confusion on my part and I assumed the dogs would all be left at home on Christmas day. We are not able to have them here due to personal preference, lack of space and the dc are still so little. You’re all still very welcome but I understand if it’s going to be a problem leaving the dogs at home so let me know what you’d like to do xx’

DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house. He replied that he assumed the same and although we have the biggest house it’s not exactly huge and having 3 dogs there too will just be too much so he’s in total agreement with me (they aren’t small breeds and the puppies are at that into everything zooming about stage)

Is this the norm now that dogs go everywhere and are never left home for a few hours ? AIBU to want a dog free Christmas ?!

I have a dog, but i’d never just assume he was welcome somewhere. He is fine at home for 4-5hrs or so. He just sleeps.

They are being totally unreasonable - I've had dogs for 40yrs, would not impose mine on anyone else unless they were specifically invited. If they weren't invited, and it would involve leaving them for too long, then I simply wouldn't be able to go to the meal. Once you have a dog / dogs you have to accept that it will limit what you can do.

To caveat my post, our dog isn't left for 9 hours, but sometimes 8 on our longer days.

You can push the safety angle, the house will be stuffed with chocolate and mince pies/food with raisins etc and it's just not safe for the dogs over Christmas.
The risk of them ingesting chocolate or raisins is too high, and if they cared about their dogs as much as they say, they'd keep them safe at home 10 minutes away (and check on them regularly obvs).
Perhaps they could take turns watching the dogs and then each of them would still catch most of the festivities.

Absolutely bonkers but you are on a hiding to nothing trying to reason with someone who thinks that.

to be honest worrying about whether the dogs will be okay together if left alone at SILs isn't your issue. You've said they can't come (fair enough, I would too), so everything else is for them to sort/decide what they are going to do. I wouldn't get involved or even think about it. All you need to know is how many people you are catering for (and if you get one sly comment about poor rover crying in his kennel that would be it for me, last christmas hosting!)

Tell me you've never had dogs without telling me you've never had dogs. 🤣

This would be akin to handing two toddlers a pritstik each, a box of face paints and a huge bag of glitter and going for a very long bath.

It's not just you OP. I think it's such a strange thing that some people won't go anywhere without their dogs now. My in-laws got a dog several years ago and it has NEVER been left at home alone. I think it's odd.

My sister lives a 10 min drive from home and when she had her previous dog she would drive home part way through the evening to check on her dog, give it a walk etc and then come back. Of course that meant she couldn't drink, but that's what she did.
My dog stays at home when we have get togethers, mainly because my parent didn't want dogs in their house but funnily that changed when my siblings got dogs, but that's another story...

Your sil lives a 10 min walk away so can still drink and walk home and check on her dog etc. The dog doesn't know it's Christmas and it's emotional guilt telling you last year they were in a shelter. Well, this year they are in their own home and will be perfectly fine mil.

Good on your dh being on the same page as you. I hope you have a lovely day.

I enjoy the company of someone else's friendly, well-mannered dog, but YANBU in the least. We wouldn't have a dog in our house either, because we've got cats and they are more important than any visitor, regardless of species, number of legs etc.

The attempt to go over your head and treat your poor DH as some sort of higher authority - what an affront to you both - is a bigger problem than the dogs per se though and you wouldn't be in the wrong if you told them Christmas at yours is off. They'll have to make alternative arrangements, which may not be as satisfactory with ten days to go, but this wouldn't be an unfair consequence of their high-handed meddling.

Ah yes! He can see for himself the intricacies of the Christian festival of birth of Jesus - unless you think he'd be interested in the Roman / Pagan aspect too? In either case, he'll need to see the King's Speech, in order to develop his sense of patriotism.

Most dogs are ok by themselves for a few hours but not all. They shouldn’t all be left together at sils unless they are used to being left together, they could fight. Unless they were all in crates but if it’s not their usual place sils neighbours might not be too happy if they are all howling. So it’s not as straightforward as they can just be left, it may be, but it may not be. I would never assume I could take my dog somewhere but that might mean I wouldn’t be going. It is not easy to get boarding or sitting over Christmas.

Well you say that but my husband and my daughter have never physically hurt me unlike my mothers dog.

This is exactly what I was thinking too.

It is heartening to see so many respectful and sensible dog owners like you on this thread!

I wouldn't ever mix dogs by leaving them unsupervised together. Whilst they might play nicely for an hour or so you wouldn't be able to predict behaviour.

Puppies can't be left very long between toilet breaks.

The more I read the more sensible it seems to cancel current plans altogether.

Meet up for a mince pie another time. They can make plans for next year (dog sitting etc)

On Christmas Day we will have 15 dogs all day! More on walks and a few more popping in.

It will be wonderful as it is every year. Strict supervision and dogs and young children are speedster at all times.

Dogs all get on, it would be difficult but not impossible if there were any reactive dogs.

A few older dogs get a room to themselves where they are regularly visited throughout the day and taken to the toilet etc.

I’ve got a dog. Like fuck would I take her to anyone’s house, even if they asked me to (she’s an 11 month old retriever, absolutely fucking feral), because fuck that.

I’d leave her at home for a bit or not go, or invite them to me.

I’ve had dogs all my life and Ive never inflicted them on others. It’s bad enough that I have to take the children.

It really is!
I find dogs to be absolutely stinking and do not wish to be in their company. And certainly would not have them in my home 🤢

How many human families do the 15 dogs belong to? Out of sheer nosiness?

Husband's family messaging him to undermine you and create conflict in your marriage is not something I could get over. None of them would be visiting my home again.

Also, time for someone else to host!

Please do cancel it after that response, and have a lovely day just to yourselves. People have gone mad these days, thinking their stinky dog knows or cares what dayy it is FFS.

I have a dog. I would not assume he had an automatic invite.

"you need to remember it’s their Christmas too"

FFS, they've lost the plot.
They need to remember that dogs aren't people.

I'd be saying we are happy to come to you....sounds like you've been hosting and they are being entitled thinking you can't lay ground rules in your own house!