Everyone just assumed they can bring their dogs with them for Christmas day ??

[caninechristmasconundrum]

In the last year 3 members of our family have got dogs (2 puppies 1 older rescue) . We always host for Christmas and I (maybe stupidly) assumed that dogs go to kennels or stay at home for the day ? I’ve never had pets before so will admit I don’t know much ! I don’t see why a few hours at home / in a crate is bad for dogs though? We don’t live that far away.

Seems they all expected to bring their dogs with them ???

After BIL and SIL made this clear and told us that ILs will be the same about their rescue dog I’ve sent a message to everyone saying ‘Really sorry but I think there may have been some confusion on my part and I assumed the dogs would all be left at home on Christmas day. We are not able to have them here due to personal preference, lack of space and the dc are still so little. You’re all still very welcome but I understand if it’s going to be a problem leaving the dogs at home so let me know what you’d like to do xx’

DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house. He replied that he assumed the same and although we have the biggest house it’s not exactly huge and having 3 dogs there too will just be too much so he’s in total agreement with me (they aren’t small breeds and the puppies are at that into everything zooming about stage)

Is this the norm now that dogs go everywhere and are never left home for a few hours ? AIBU to want a dog free Christmas ?!

I was referring to the OP’s relatives, not the majority of sensible dog owners who have responded. Sorry if I was unclear

If it's the norm amongst their family then it should have been said. Doggy day care is closed, kennels may not offer collection Xmas day so it isn't straightforward.

Both sides had equal responsibility to clearly state. Who issues an invitation and doesn't say look we can't have the dog

No, sorry, that’s just the height of entitlement. This is how it should go:
’ Would you like to come for Xmas lunch?’
MIL: ‘That would be lovely. Can I bring the dog?’
’No, sorry.’
MIL: Either 1. ‘Ah ok, then I’m afraid I won’t be able to come’
Or: 2. ‘Ah ok, I’ll try and make other arrangements but I might not be able to come. I’ll let you know as soon as I can’

All the onus on the dog owner, not the potential host and absolutely no assumption from the start that the dog is included in the invitation.

If we are going by this thread most people wouldn’t think to state the dog isn’t welcome and most dog owners wouldn’t be so daft as to assume their dog is invited without asking.

This mirrors my reality as well, no-one brings dogs along to parties or gathering without asking. It’s just not a thing!

And I’ve never seen “dogs not welcome” being attached to any group text invite, since none of my social circle is so silly as to automatically assume the invite to them includes their dog.

Well I agree to disagree if you live in a animal friendly family the default is typically included especially holiday time as the cost is horrendous and space is very hard to get

Appreciate this.

Well different folks different strokes across all my extended family and friends it's dogs always included, children invitation only

Dogs are included automatically but children need an invitation?

Absolutely bonkers and I say this as a child free woman. We’re doomed aren’t we ? 😂
Out of interest what age are these children in your family and friends circle ? Are they under 13?

Why is it considered more acceptable for people to have to find babysitters , but not dog sitters?

Because we can let our hair down around the dogs and they don't tell tales!!!

I have multiple social circles and not one has this approach and I’m so thankful. But each to their own as you say 😂

They won't know different if it happens on boxing day. My mums dog has a great time tearing up the wrapping paper, playing with new toys, getting leftovers with her dinner.
But, she won't be bothered if her Christmas happens on a different day.

Our pure delight is taking our woofs off for a weekend, Airbnb, long walks, nice dinners, wine, abandoning partners, the children spanning from little ones, to older nearly adult children and living our best lives being responsible for only the dogs 😜 !

Dogs make us walk, good company and tell no tales.

One Christmas one of my mums hens jumped in the living room window, and sat on my lap for a fuss. My husband asked "what time are we putting this one on?" By absolute coincidence she squarkedand looed shocked right on cue. It was hilarious

That sounds like an absolutely blissful way to spend a weekend with friends @Marblesbackagain but surely it's quite different to a family occasion like Christmas where it would be bizarre in the extreme to assume dogs were included but default was to exclude children!

Yanbu at all op. We have a dog and have visited family for dinner on Christmas Day before who don't have pets and would have never assumed we would take the dog.

Absolutely stand your ground. Your home. Your children. Dogs/puppies are a lot of work especially if you aren't used to them

That "IF" is carrying a very large part of the burden there.

As the OP states, dogs are a very new thing for her family and they are well under a year into dog ownership. Certainly IF you've grown up with dogs all your life AND everybody in the family likes them, and IF that has been the way you do things all your life - then fine. You will have grown up also with the knowledge that kennels etc are very expensive and in short supply.

But in this case, this is the first year that dogs have even come into the equation so there isn't any established family practice to follow. If anything the OP is following the family traditions by not having dogs round on Christmas Day, and as a non dog owner she has no idea (and why should she) of how long dogs can be in a house alone, or how hard/expensive it is to get a dog in kennels this time of year.

As for the family members who have recently come into dog ownership, they don't seem to have done their research on whether a recently rescued dog is likely to be happy/well behaved at a big celebration; so why should the OP have to research on their behalf?

And I will point out here that though I have cats, I adore dogs too - just my disabilities mean I couldn't walk them & the like. I have friends with all types and sizes of dogs who I love to see in THEIR homes - terriers, little dogs like Yorkies and Pomeranians (farm dogs, great ratters!), show and pet poodles, showing German Shepherds (not Crufts type showing, Sieger which is overall including temperament, obedience etc), Great Danes, Dobermans etc. I just don't want them in my home.

Family we always bring animals 🤷‍♀️

Perfect!

😂

I feel sorry for your children.

Oh behave! They get plenty of time with their dad while I get time away honestly cop on and crawl back under your bridge troll.

Jesus Wept! That's fucking embarrassing! I'm so sick of dogs being treated like children...they aren't children, they are dogs ffs!

The OP doesn't own a dog, so why would the family members assume it an invite to a home that is dog friendly? Unless they are just unbelievably entitled?

As I said different strokes for different folks. I hadn't a dog for over a decade and I always welcomed them 🤷‍♀️

But you should never just assume you can bring your new dog to someone's else's house, would you not agree?

I have clearly stated my opinion several times. You appear to believe if you keep asking the same question a different way I will agree 🤣