Everyone just assumed they can bring their dogs with them for Christmas day ??

[caninechristmasconundrum]

In the last year 3 members of our family have got dogs (2 puppies 1 older rescue) . We always host for Christmas and I (maybe stupidly) assumed that dogs go to kennels or stay at home for the day ? I’ve never had pets before so will admit I don’t know much ! I don’t see why a few hours at home / in a crate is bad for dogs though? We don’t live that far away.

Seems they all expected to bring their dogs with them ???

After BIL and SIL made this clear and told us that ILs will be the same about their rescue dog I’ve sent a message to everyone saying ‘Really sorry but I think there may have been some confusion on my part and I assumed the dogs would all be left at home on Christmas day. We are not able to have them here due to personal preference, lack of space and the dc are still so little. You’re all still very welcome but I understand if it’s going to be a problem leaving the dogs at home so let me know what you’d like to do xx’

DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house. He replied that he assumed the same and although we have the biggest house it’s not exactly huge and having 3 dogs there too will just be too much so he’s in total agreement with me (they aren’t small breeds and the puppies are at that into everything zooming about stage)

Is this the norm now that dogs go everywhere and are never left home for a few hours ? AIBU to want a dog free Christmas ?!

Yes. I believe that axlotls are much more placid than chickens. In my experience, the latter can become rather agitated.

Yes, hence that attitude being the basis of a metaphor.
I would say take them anywhere, Starbucks, John Lewis, Marks, Pret, but do look out for people who bring pet foxes everywhere. I find them to be poor owners.

Just many people then, in your previous comments, that isn’t generalising at all🙄

I adore my dogs. They are honestly the best thing in my life and I will always put them first. I would not however take them to someone else’s house, nor would I ever expect to be able to. They are MY dogs so I have to adjust MY life. And I do. So I would go for dinner for a couple of hours and then I would go home.
But honesty? If it was one dog for one day? I’d go with that. But 3 different dogs in a new situation with new people? As a dog owner I just wouldn’t. Say no op. It’s a bad decision for the dogs AND the people.

I shall take note of that.

Nope. 😉

dogs are a pest generally. Is leaving the house without been charged, sniffed, licked, or have some furry mutt jump all over you reaching for the stars?

It is NOT up to OP to have thought about this. There should never be an assumption that dogs are welcome so it was up to mil to ask if she could bring them long before and decline the invitation when she found she couldn’t.

If you can take a turkey to Christmas..

Sorry, had to be done

So we’ve established that any non- dog pets are “by invitation only” and if the pet is a dog, then the defailt is “welcome” unless stated otherwise. I love a good double standard

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5221635-to-expect-my-sil-to-keep-her-aggressive-cat-away-during-xmas?page=18&reply=140303507

It’s definitely different with dogs. Cats can be left alone with food and a dirt tray but dogs get separation anxiety after a few hours

No one should just assume it’s ok to bring their dog to your home without asking, and it’s absolutely fine to say no! I wouldn’t want big, loud, smelly, slobbery, hairy creatures crashing around a house full of people either. We are living in weird times where dogs seem to be treated like deities, I’m so over it 😬

Exactly on all counts.

Maybe it’s just that you’ve made so many generalisations @EmpressOfTheThread
you just can’t remember😉

Puppies actually can't be left that long on their own, they need to be let out, and they need feeding more frequently than adult dogs. Also they need to have completed their vaccinations before a decent kennel would accept them. Added to which, a kennel is HIGHLY unlikely to be open for drop-off Christmas morning and again for a pickup later.
You're not being unreasonable to have your own house rules, but you're being very unreasonable if you think that a responsible dog owner is going to leave a puppy unsupervised for most of the day so they can drive round to your place for a roast dinner. Settled adult dogs, maybe.

Lots of cats have separation anxiety too. Many just at the door waiting for their owner to come back.

Many isn't all.
😁

I love dogs. And I Take my cat when we're visiting family overnight. He gets on great with my mums dog, and very much sees it as his second home.
But thiswas something we agreed was okay as a family. He also stays with them when we go away.
Nobody should assume a pet is invited without checking. And if they live fairly close, the dogs should be fine at home. Maybe a neighbour can check in on them and let them out to toilet.

And Christmas, with all it's chaos, an unfamiliar home, dogs that don't know each other well, it would probably be far more stress for them to be invited than not

No many dog owners on here have stated they wouldn't expect their dogs to be included on invitations.

Don't tar us all with the same brush.

I agree. Many dog owners on here agree with the OP, and have shown awareness about the situation and not all are insensitive about where they take their pets.

and can be very difficult/expensive to find kennels to take a dog over Christmas

Difficult - book early.
Expensive - tough.

Where has that been established, @Thursdaygirl? Have you missed, or ignored those of us who are dog owners, and have said we wouldn’t expect to bring our dogs to someone’s house?

Of course, it makes a much better goady sound bite to accuse all dog owners of being unreasonable.

I mean, my cat is my baby, my mum calls him her grandson, we refer to my mums dog as my sister.
BUT. One of the good things about a cat baby is that he's fine if you leave him with food, water and a litter tray when you go for a day out. When he sees us getting ready to go out, he takes himself to bed. And seems to pretty much sleep until we get back.

Exactly😂that was my point, when you say many, that is generalising.You’ve been generalising about dog owners, it’s not factual.