Everyone just assumed they can bring their dogs with them for Christmas day ??

[caninechristmasconundrum]

In the last year 3 members of our family have got dogs (2 puppies 1 older rescue) . We always host for Christmas and I (maybe stupidly) assumed that dogs go to kennels or stay at home for the day ? I’ve never had pets before so will admit I don’t know much ! I don’t see why a few hours at home / in a crate is bad for dogs though? We don’t live that far away.

Seems they all expected to bring their dogs with them ???

After BIL and SIL made this clear and told us that ILs will be the same about their rescue dog I’ve sent a message to everyone saying ‘Really sorry but I think there may have been some confusion on my part and I assumed the dogs would all be left at home on Christmas day. We are not able to have them here due to personal preference, lack of space and the dc are still so little. You’re all still very welcome but I understand if it’s going to be a problem leaving the dogs at home so let me know what you’d like to do xx’

DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house. He replied that he assumed the same and although we have the biggest house it’s not exactly huge and having 3 dogs there too will just be too much so he’s in total agreement with me (they aren’t small breeds and the puppies are at that into everything zooming about stage)

Is this the norm now that dogs go everywhere and are never left home for a few hours ? AIBU to want a dog free Christmas ?!

YANBU I love my dog so much but I would never take him where he wasn't welcome or if I felt that he wouldn't be safe, so we'd stay at home as we wouldn't enjoy being without him anyway. To just expect they can take the dogs without asking is disrespectful

My aunty used to "bring" her dog but what that meant was she drove over and left him in her car parked up on the drive. Then every so often she would go out to check on him and then we would all take him for a walk. He was an older super chilled dog and just used to go to sleep in the car but was absolutely fine. My FIL just used to leave his dogs at home for the afternoon, again, all fine.

My DS and DIL don't allow my dog at their house, fair enough, (although they expect me to look after their dog at my house when they go away). They get irate when I say I can only stay at a family gathering for a few hours. They even wanted me to babysit for the weekend and leave the dog at home alone, got very cross when I refused!

Dog are not "family members". They are animals. People are losing their minds. Bringing an animal to someone else's house is utter madness.

EXACTLY THIS!

One family Christmas an aunt insisted on bringing her large rescue dog. Completely emptied its bladder on the hall carpet while I was serving the starters. 'Oh sorry about that' she said, still seated, while we cleaned it up. Revolting.

Literally this 🤪 how do we go about explaining it’s f’ing selfish and wish to try and humanise an ANIMAL 😫

Exactly..... Or cats....or rats.....or tarantulas....

My cat would be monumentally pissed off if I started carting it around to
different people's houses. As I imagine would be the people I carted it around to.

They'd think I'd lost the plot. Why are dogs different? They are different because they have no idea how to entertain themselves. And they bark.

Looks like most people on this thread, are saying, they wouldn’t assume, they’d make their own arrangements.
This thread is one situation, not all people who look after dogs, would, want or expect this.
Thanks for the clarification, although if people want to say their pet is a family member, that’s their choice.

Why did you let her in?! I would have told her to come back without the dog.

Tell her, that you can be quite certain that their dog really does not GAFS about a "first family Christmas".

Your house, your rules, and I would not allow it either. Too many dogs in a small space=recipe for disaster.

Not OP’s problem anymore as she has told them they can’t bring their dogs.

Yes they are family members. Very nice ones. And I’ll be taking mine to my brother’s at Christmas, rather than abandoning him for 8 hours.

This. How did all the dogs manage in the past ? Dogs are fine but are not people. Surely there is little about a xmas gathering that is appealing to most dogs.

Well is still is her problem or she wouldn’t be posting. Plus her DH is receiving irritating texts about being ocd and the arrangements are clearly going to have to change.

It’s a problem she and her DH have dealt with by saying no they can’t come.

And it’s opened her DH’s eyes to some dubious behaviour from his mum. So that’s a good thing.

Hopefully everyone takes turns hosting in future.

NO, she's not unreasonable no matter how young or old the puppies/dogs are. They are not her responsibility. THey are the responsibility of their owners.

OP doesn't want dogs in her house. That's a perfectly reasonable position to have about one's own home. If other people don't want to be without their dogs for an event that doesn't allow dogs, then they don't go to the event or they host it themselves.

It is reasonable for them to want their dog with them. But also reasonable for you to not want dogs over.

I think it is very unreasonable for them to assume they could bring their dog over without specifically checking if it was OK or not.

I love dogs (and cats) and enjoy having my brother's dog over. But I'd not want multiple dogs over including 2 puppies on Christmas day! Maybe you can go on a big dog walk with them on Boxing day?

Jeez. They walk among us 🙈

Exactly.

Well then... either don't have a dog or don't go to people's houses 😅 You wouldn't be welcome in mine.

Or maybe the other way around🥱

Devastated🙄

92% yanbu of nearly 3k votes would suggest not…

Think you’ve missed where, many people who have a dog, have actually said, they wouldn’t assume, it’s not ok to take a dog to someone else’s home, unless invited, including myself, agree op isn’t being unreasonable, that’s how l voted, do you seriously think all people think the same as op’s relatives.
What l do disagree with, is people getting all het up, over other people, who care for dogs and consider them as part of their family.It’s their choice, it hasn’t got anything to do with anyone else, really@Mnetcurious