Everyone just assumed they can bring their dogs with them for Christmas day ??

[caninechristmasconundrum]

In the last year 3 members of our family have got dogs (2 puppies 1 older rescue) . We always host for Christmas and I (maybe stupidly) assumed that dogs go to kennels or stay at home for the day ? I’ve never had pets before so will admit I don’t know much ! I don’t see why a few hours at home / in a crate is bad for dogs though? We don’t live that far away.

Seems they all expected to bring their dogs with them ???

After BIL and SIL made this clear and told us that ILs will be the same about their rescue dog I’ve sent a message to everyone saying ‘Really sorry but I think there may have been some confusion on my part and I assumed the dogs would all be left at home on Christmas day. We are not able to have them here due to personal preference, lack of space and the dc are still so little. You’re all still very welcome but I understand if it’s going to be a problem leaving the dogs at home so let me know what you’d like to do xx’

DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house. He replied that he assumed the same and although we have the biggest house it’s not exactly huge and having 3 dogs there too will just be too much so he’s in total agreement with me (they aren’t small breeds and the puppies are at that into everything zooming about stage)

Is this the norm now that dogs go everywhere and are never left home for a few hours ? AIBU to want a dog free Christmas ?!

I wouldnt want to leave my dog at home...can't you just put them all in the garden?

You're assuming that they'll all be best friends. What if one gets bitten, how much is a vets bill on Christmas day.

Exactly, dog owners are repeatedly saying they would never assume and completely understand how op feels.It’s clear on this thread though, there are people who can’t stand dogs, so really don’t think any of their friends or family members, would ever assume it’s ok to take their dog to their home, so yes why are they getting so uptight about it! It’s never going to happen.

I wouldnt want to leave my dog at home...can't you just put them all in the garden?
Why though? The family only live 10 mins walk away. Easy to take time out and take the dogs for a walk throughout the day.

You're not unreasonable. I take our dog to in laws but not to my family and that's fine. But why were you the "bad guy" communicating with your in laws? Get your husband to deal with this.

Sorry but you are incorrect, its not reasonable for dog owners to assume their dog will be welcome by family unless stated otherwise.
As a dog owner you should always, always check first and never just assuke your dog is welcome, that's so incredibly entitled.
As a homeowner i should not have to explicitly state dogs aren't welcome every time!!!

And here we go. Predictably, a thread about the rights and wrongs of OP being forced to host dogs on Xmas days reverts to the weekly threads of ‘dogs in shops’. A subject done to death on MN.

It's not the bringing of the dogs that annoys me, it's the not asking part which I find really rude. Responsible owners always seem to ask and its never an issue. But the ones who never ask and just assume, always seem to be the same ones with sketchy, untrained dogs!

Of course, dogs are a member of that person's family. However, I wouldn't just turn up with my cousin at someone's house without asking the host if it's alright. It this is considered rude, shouldn't the ame logic apply for dogs.

Very much in the minority though. Most dogs are bigger than a cat anyway, plus you’d have to have a very secure garden.

And lots of weddings exclude children, who have a much greater claim to being part of the family.

You don't always get what you want? If its not your house and the homeowner doesn't want dogs there then thats their choice.

Along with lots of topics, to be fair

Can DH take over the communication with his family?
He can just reiterate "we can't have the dogs here for a number of reasons. DW made the suggestion that they could stay at X's house round the corner. Please let us know what you decide as soon as possible as DW and I will be starting the preparations soon."

Yanbu and they sound quite annoying, hopefully they'll agree to your very reasonable compromise and realise that you and your husband are a team!

I would assume that if you invited me and my family around for Xmas day and you knew I had a dog that the dog would also be coming

I often invite relatives and friends for a meal, or for the day. I would never expect any of them to bring their dog. Fortunately none of them ever have so I've not had to turn them away. That's what it would come to if any of them were ever that mannerless.

No, not at all. Since our boy was 18 months old, he goes as long as 10 hours without even moving after his big walk. He's a Bulldog if that will change your views at all. I have to force him out the door to the garden some days. We picked a lazy breed for a reason.

If we are out more than 8 hours someone let's him out and gives him cuddles at the 6 hour point. BUT we literally do what most PPs do, which is, we work around having a dog. He is not the centre of our universe, but we also don't go anywhere overnight often. We can't afford it 😆! We are home body's and I work remotely so we are a good fit. I appreciate your views about my dog rearing aren't your own, but my happy angel boy would argue he's living a pretty good life. I would attach a picture, but I think it might be wasted on this rather divisive thread 😆.

A dog going 10 hours without moving! C’mon really.People are just saying it’s not fair to leave a dog, on their own, for long periods of time.That’s perfectly reasonable.And no l don’t think the people on this thread would appreciate a photo of your dog, as it is, indeed a very divisive thread!

Because not everyone is as nuts as you.

Bulldogs are lazy because they're horrendously overbred and can't physically breathe or do a proper amount of exercise - it's nothing to be smug about

Your MiL (in particular) is being really stupid. If her dog is in any way unsettled due to being a rescue, then a "family Christmas" with 3 strange families, 2 young dogs and small children (in a totally unknown space) is the last thing he needs.

I think the entitlement, assuming that everyone is happy to host their dogs and MIL insisting that it’s ’their Christmas too’ are the things that would put my back up the most.
Dogs haven’t a clue about Christmas and are likely to be overstimulated by the occasion.
I grew up with dogs and have had both dogs and cats that I wouldn’t think of inflicting them on anyone else.
Can we please get back to treating dogs like dogs and not like people?
waits for backlash from people who treat their dogs like humans. Yes they can be members of the family but they are still dogs

YANBU OP. We are friends with a couple known for years (the 90s!) whom now have dogs - they can never be left 🤦🏻‍♀️ unless we go to them and are bounced over by four enormous untrained dogs we see the couple, one then the other - it is ridiculous - they often stayed over as we live a drive apart - one will come stay over, they will leave go home, then the other stays and we do a night out again. The dogs eat the house and don't travel well in cars and are genuinely unruly. It has messed up the friendship and the male when he stays moans on about her dogs being restricting, she comes over and talks about getting more dogs 🤦🏻‍♀️

Assuming the OP has a garden which is secure for dogs, the weather is clement, none of the dogs are destructive and all 3 are happy to be outside for several hours?

I know people with smaller dogs who use cat flaps

I read this as flat caps. Must be the Yorkshire in me.

YANBU at all op.
Dogs are not welcome at my home. I have a baby and 3 year old and do not want their shitty paws on my carpet where dc crawl and play. Not to mention the hairs! Same as I don’t have shoes on in the house too.

Very cheeky of them to presume and suggest OCD. They can enjoy Christmas on their own with darling Fido. After that rude remark I would be tempted to uninvited them and enjoy Christmas with your dc and dh.

I love my dog. She is never alone as DH works from home and she’d be horribly upset if we just left her all day. My solution to that would be to plan our own Christmas at home, not just assume I could take her with me.

They aren’t being unreasonable to not want to leave the dogs alone but they are being mega-unreasonable to demand they be invited to yours!