To be devastated that he's missed the Christmas shopping deadline

[tilypu]

I only asked for one thing. The deadline passed last weekend and it turns out he hasn't even bloody ordered it.

https://www.buccellati.com/en_gb/openable-cabbage-large-centerpiece-sagbow011395xxx000.html

Christmas is ruined! He's suggesting he fashion one out of tin foil instead. He thinks he'll be able to fasten it together with the Tiffany paperclip he got me a few years ago. To be fair, he created a surprisingly good mock up of a Jackson Pollock painting, although I think Crispín and Tabitha suspect it's not genuine.

I'm utterly discombobulated.

😂

. LTB
. Organise counselling for yourself to recover from the trauma of not having a silver cabbage to grace your festivities
. Book a spa weekend.
. Praying for you 🙏

LTB. What a disappointment he is! The only thing you asked for - one simple £28k cabbage - and he can't even make the effort to press a button. Clearly cares nothing for your feelings; I bet he doesn't even see you as a real person.

Let him make the dupe, though. If it's good, you may be able to sell it to another gallery or even the Tate Modern. Pocket the proceeds and divorce the fucker.

You got this, girl!

Seriously, LTB.
Christmas will indeed be ruined without such a beautiful receptacle in which to put your ready salted crisps for the buffet.

You need to lock him out and change the locks then sit there weeping into your ice cream and other really dramatic things that are not legally possible but sound 'good'

Thank you all. I knew I could rely on mumsnet. I'm now questioning everything. Is the paperclip even genuine? Some time ago I found a receipt for a place called Rymans for giant paperclips. He said they were for work, which of course I believed at the time. But darlings, he hasn't worked since 1983 so now I'm not sure.

Thats the lesson for you - everything should be checked and doubled checked way in advance if you want a prefect Christmas.

Could you settle for individual baby cabbages for place setting this year? M&S has nice (tasty) ones.
If you are really keen on silver theme you can spray them with silver paint.

Sorry OP I voted YABU because I thought this was a joke but I now realise you’re serious. LTB.

Your bravery in the face of such behaviour has made me cry. You truly are an exceptional woman and he doesn't deserve you. Tin foil indeed.
I don't know what it is with some men. I'm using my Tiffany paperclips to display my cards, btw, they're very useful.
Crispin and Tabitha know exactly what's going on

Oh my darling this is horrific!

What an utter, utter cad.

Is there any hope that he has booked a skiing break in St Moritz for the new year, or pulled together a last minute Fabergé Egg?

Has he even bought for Crispín and Tabitha, or does Nanny take care of that sort of thing?

Didn't Rymans close down some years ago?
What a duplicitous character!
I'd check the hallmark on your silver toothpicks now.

Surely the use of the Tiffany paper clip will soothe things? How awful, sending prayers OP

I saw one of those in tkmaxx last week, it was on a shelf next to the bright pink, flocked pigeons and candlesticks that look like buttplugs.

Thoughts and prayers @tilypu. I have no words. How horrific for you!

Are your (platinum, diamond encrusted) ducks in a row?

Give him a hard stare and then ltb!

Would any of your staff know someone who might help? Someone who might be willing to spray paint an organic cabbage silver for you. You’d have to pay them something of course. I gather cider is popular in those circles so that might be a festive gesture

It’s only in Milan, I’m sure he could get a flight this weekend, Christmas could still be saved.

while he’s there I quite like the little silver tree decorations if he could pick me one up.

How about you substitute the cabbage for the Turner prize winning banana of 2019 ? iSure to impress your guests at $120,000. If unavailable it would be much simpler to make your own than to attempt a silver foil cabbage.

We'd need a banana for scale to check if this is a big enough gesture, it's not exactly a silver cabbage bowl now is it?

Ye God's! 😱

He's probably one of those people who sneer at art. He doesn't get it. I'd ltb

NAMALT.

My own dear husband, for example, buys a fresh cabbage every Christmas.

Absolutely send him packing.

Or you'll be disappointed again next year when he forgets to order you the matching sprout.

PMSL! Keep them coming Mumsnetters, best laugh I've had all week!

Don't worry OP, I got this for my partner and, would you believe it, she got one for me! So we have two.

I'll give you my PayPal deets and you can just wing me £28,000 and I'll send the spare over via Evri 😊