To be devastated that he's missed the Christmas shopping deadline

[tilypu]

I only asked for one thing. The deadline passed last weekend and it turns out he hasn't even bloody ordered it.

https://www.buccellati.com/en_gb/openable-cabbage-large-centerpiece-sagbow011395xxx000.html

Christmas is ruined! He's suggesting he fashion one out of tin foil instead. He thinks he'll be able to fasten it together with the Tiffany paperclip he got me a few years ago. To be fair, he created a surprisingly good mock up of a Jackson Pollock painting, although I think Crispín and Tabitha suspect it's not genuine.

I'm utterly discombobulated.

Crisps ?!! Surely you mean game chips !!!

@drspouse

No issue there at all. That’s the butlers job.

The man’s a brut!!

I’m happy to pop to Asda and Hobby craft and spay paint a cabbage silver for you. I’ll even hand deliver it. Because it’s the season of goodwill I’ll only charge £20k. #christmassaved

I'd pop down to the greengrocers, spray tin of silver paint and it will be fine for now. He can always get the real thing in the New Year for you. It will be OK.

Sorry I'm too slow posting so missed yours. To be fair a DIY job would be ideal if OP wants the money for the real thing. You are very enterprising though.

Could you spray paint a real cabbage??

I’m not sure. You’re getting some good advice here but I would hold off LTB as he might have bought it and has it stashed away? Is he prone to surprises like this? Have you checked the accounts for a £28K sale.

Its gorgeous - I might get a couple for the table dressing on Boxing Day (Christmas table has been planned obv).

Please can you insist he does this cabbage in tin foil and share it with us for our judgement? You do not want an high society Christmas lunch to be the first debuet for this.

Maybe he could recreate the shopping mayhem of the 80s and buy you a Cabbage Patch Kid?

Funny story my DH got his PA to order one knowing I'd adore it, and I'd already asked my ladies maid to pick one up last week. If you'd like our spare one I'd be happy to get the chauffeur to pop it over to you. Are you in town or country this Christmas? I'm assuming country given the cabbage.

As a one liner, that takes some beating.

😂😂

*drspouse
But how would you get the crisp crumbs out of the cabbage?

Crisps ?!! Surely you mean game chips !!!*

Car keys. Wink wink!

https://moirafinejewellery.com/our-jewellery/brooches/gemstone-brooches/modern-diamond-platinum-and-gold-duck-brooch-circa-2000

How many ducks make a row? I think three minimum, depending on weight.

I put mine down on the floor for the gundogs to sort out, or the kitchen staff. Whichever can run fastest! Usually the dogs to be honest.

Loving gesture, me thinks. Imagine trying to polish that when it starts to tarnish in a few months? 😱

Apropos of nothing our local greengrocers has recently taken on a new assistant. Ghastly little man. I wouldn’t want him handling anything I later wanted to put in my mouth.

Surely with it being Christmas n'all that's a Brussel Sprout not a Cabbage!

Oh my darling, how hideous of him!
Although Lady Ashton had one on her table when we went for drinkies last night so maybe just as well as you wouldn’t want anyone to say you had copied her, we all know what she can be like
She said it was a present from her (secret) lover and she was delighted with it but did not know where he got the idea from.
I wonder….

Lady Ashton is so coy, isn't she? Her secret admirer "in the suburbs".
I did notice that one of the Bismarks was using it as an ashtray, which I thought a little rude.

You poor love!! I'm sure that it's been suggested, and I know it's not the same, but could he spray paint a real cabbage instead. This has the added benefit of you being able to serve him up some slightly toxic coleslaw after Christmas with his cold turkey left overs.

Right OP you've been warned now about Lady Ashton, it's too much of a coincidence to assume that her 'secret lover' could found the splendid cabbage bowl without hearing about it from you. No man could have such exquisite taste.

I had thought that some previous posters were saying LTB in haste but I've never read such an awful situation before. You must feel absolutely violated darling.

If I were you I'd deposit Crispin and Tabitha with your parents, contact a solicitor and gather evidence.

You've got this, there's an army of Mumsnet women supporting you.

Please update OP, we need to know what happens next....

Are you insinuating that The Marquis of Tilytu has been awooing Lady Ashton with his silver cabbages again?

I know that it's not the same, but I do have the matching soup terrine that you are most welcome to borrow. I won't need it until the shooting season starts again.