To be devastated that he's missed the Christmas shopping deadline

[tilypu]

I only asked for one thing. The deadline passed last weekend and it turns out he hasn't even bloody ordered it.

https://www.buccellati.com/en_gb/openable-cabbage-large-centerpiece-sagbow011395xxx000.html

Christmas is ruined! He's suggesting he fashion one out of tin foil instead. He thinks he'll be able to fasten it together with the Tiffany paperclip he got me a few years ago. To be fair, he created a surprisingly good mock up of a Jackson Pollock painting, although I think Crispín and Tabitha suspect it's not genuine.

I'm utterly discombobulated.

He’s done you a favour bab. Spend the 28k on a divorce lawyer and no more Christmases will be ruined. Sending strength.

What the actual fucking fuck is that.

To play devils advocate......

Just sit tight. There may be a jar of sauerkraut in your Fortnum and Mason hamper.

OP please tell me he didn't miss the order date for the £2,500 Sovereign Hamper as well? 😧

How incredibly selfish.
Get your ducks in row now !

Come on, I feel you’re just being picky now… if you’ve seen one banana you’ve seen them all.

😂

I can't be the only one thinking "how is this a bowl?" how do you put anything in it?

I thought the same. I’d never get my skittles out between those flaps.

Christmas is saved!! I found this for him to get you:

https://www.1stdibs.com/fr/art/peintures/peintures-nature-morte/elizabeth-osborne-nature-morte-au-chou/id-a_2836321/#zoomModalOpen
Elizabeth Osborne
Nature morte au chou
1983
5 827,46 €

Easily sorted with a Tesco cabbage and silver spray paint.

Maybe it's an M&S bowl?

Darling girl.. so many red flags! Leave at once . He thinks crafting gifts is acceptable! You are clearly holding the mental load for your entire family. Such cruelty!

Oh my goodness 😮 That is one of the strangest centrepieces I have ever seen 😮

How could that possibly work as a bowl????

You could offer him the chance to make it up to you by spending that £28k on a nice trip away instead.

Hang on. Doesn't the retailer share some of the blame here? This is 2024 ffs. We are used to being able to order stuff on 22nd/23rd December confident that we can pay an extra £3 in the P&P section for next day delivery (which is obviously insignificant given the value of the gift) so what's with the "deadline" more than 10 days before Christmas?? I haven't done half my shopping yet and I would be mightily pissed off if something a loved one had asked for had an order deadline like that.

I got two last year. I'll send you the spare one darling.

Now you won’t have the generating power of nature as the protagonist of your Christmas? Poor Crispín and Tarquin

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Casting-Brass-female-bronze-sculpture-Table_1601202020734.html?spm=a2700.7724857.0.0.671c3459zZDjl2

perhaps madame might be interested in this?

I don’t know if there’s an answer to this, although a Savoy and a spray can might be worth a shot.

But I just wanted to say that you sound like a lovely person, OP.

Now that I've clicked on the link I'm getting targeted ads.

Might the pepper suffice OP?

I've seen it all now...

OP, I accidentally ordered two and couldn't be bothered to return one. It's yours if you'd like it?

YABU for asking for a cabbage. At this time of the year, the only appropriate vegetables are sprouts and parsnips. You should be ashamed.

Huge red flag, LTB, it's all downhill from now.

No one would buy that anyway - why just why? Give your head a wobble for even thinking of it! Not pretty!

Could he craft one from tin foil?