He left me in city centre…

[Craics90]

Went in to City Centre today for DH’s birthday. A few of his friends had also arranged to go in today. I asked if he’d prefer to go out with said friends and he repeatedly said no.

Queue 4pm when he began acting like a total arse to me. We went to the usual Christmas market, had some food, waded our way through the crowds to get anywhere and went on a bar crawl.

He’s useless with directions so I usually guide us between bars etc. I asked him multiple times where he wanted to go next and he kept saying that he didn’t mind.

Went to his favourite bar, queued for 40 mins to get inside, got one drink. Whilst standing basically the toilet door, people slamming in to us spilling drink down my back I asked if he wanted to maybe go somewhere more local where we could actually get to the bar and have a dance?

He stormed out of the bar rambling on that I should have stayed at home, even though I spent weeks planning the night and booking in to his favourite restaurant which he made me cancel last night costing me 80£ for late cancellation!

I tried calling him and he told me to F off and said he didn’t care how I got home because I’m not his problem. Therefore, leaving me stranded in the city. Every taxi I stopped was booked and I had to call my elderly dad to come and get me. I felt like such a dick.

Obviously DH had this planned so he could go off and meet friends instead of just saying in the first place. I am so hurt.

He has just came home bashing the door with three others trying to get in and I haven’t opened it. First of all I was asleep and they woke me with the banging, but second of all - bringing people back here when he knows I would be in bed?

AIBU for not opening the door?

Ahhh girl, shit's about to get intense.
I am married to the guy who you're married to now, I've been my husband's rehab though and dare I say, successfully (but I don't recommend unless you have shoulders than can take 1 billion tons for the rest of your life), rather than kicking him to the kerb like I should've.
He is going to gaslight the fuck out of you.
Them bank statements and bags you've found, photograph the lot. There will probably be a lot of money transfered to and from his friends, those are the important bits.
Keep all your messages and put a shortcut on your phones homescreen for an audio recorder. You will come face to face again (or door to face) make sure you hit that record button. I love your attitude, you sound like an absolute belter. You've already done the hardest bit, just stay strong now through what he's gonna throw at you xx

Shame about the key. Accidents happen. In my experience the cold weather makes it more likely. nods Glad you've got a good locksmith.

By the way, FB round my way - Central Scotland - keeps reporting strange men trying doors at random.

Maybe get a chain fitted while the locksmith is there? Even get a wedge to put inside the doors at night?

I genuinely had some chancer on my property last night, but the garage security light - which also catches you when you're halfway up the path to the front door - came on. Quite blinding and startling it is, if you don't expect it.

You’re an absolute queen and don’t forget it lass 💚

Blood and snotters , Tears R Us, PoorMe, You are my one and only, life without you is not an option, I’ll kill myself if you don’t let me back. It will be different , I’ll change

All or any of the above. Possibly interspersed with threats

Glad you have queries re rings, finding £20k etc..it will really help you be strong in the face of his onslaught.
You’re doing great. I hope you kept the baggies and bagged them..if there are drugs and fingerprints ….. you got a great weapon there to maybe withhold some custody

I think I love you @Craics90 you are a legend.
I’d get as much evidence of his spending, see if he has any secret accounts in his paperwork. Anything he could sneak in whilst you’re out to sell that you would be devastated at losing. Change passwords on online banking and social media, block him too, mute your phone and just ignore the wank stain’s attempt to communicate. Let the sage do its work, it’s obviously working because your key broke in the lock!

I second the need to record any verbal interaction on your phone. It saves the ‘he said , she said’ and everyone saying you can’t prove it.

I still have the recordings of mine. Told him , I’d made a copy and left it with my solicitor in case anything happened to me, so they would come after him first. I hadn’t a copy with a solicitor ..but he never realised that.

He's bitten off more than he can chew this time - good on ye!

I would say that £20k has likely gone up his nose, and your rings are probably a goner too.

Take the bastard for all you can get x

You’re doing fabulously. 💗

OP you amazing. Keep that strong independent spirit up.

Talk to your solicitor about where his money might be.
A forensic accountant is money very well spent to find out where he might have placed money.

Empasise the coke, him hiding money to spend it on drugs.

Lay it on with a trowel.
How terrified you are of him when he is on it.
Terrified of him around the children.
Terrified of him driving the children while on it.

Let the fxxker know you are more than prepared to go to the police and his employer.

Most employers wouldn't be impressed to be informed their employee is being divorced by his wife because he is an abusive coke head.

Like I said, lay it on with a trowel.

You have got this.

Check to see if he’s took out any loans or remortgaged the house Op he might of forged your signature.

He's an absolute arse and you deserve better!

Op
I'm so sorry that you've been treated like this by someone who was supposed to love you .
I agree it does sound that be has perhaps met someone else and all of a sudden is allergic to you . I'm so glad you've support in real life and absolutely tell everyone about his vile behaviour. He absolutely does not deserve you
Don't be tempted to take him back even if he begs. He has shown you his true self . Believe him .

Sadly it was me / maybe others too .
Wonder why he is calling ? Abuse maybe as your telling truths about him. .
Maybe he thought he was away for a few days Coke and women and he is hearing through friends that his marriage is over.

I am glad you have friends staying !
What a coincidence with the broken key 😊

The person who posted here on Saturday sounds so different to the person posting today.

Well done for finding your strength.

Expect increasingly more frantic phone calls from his friends' wives, as they face pressure to have him over Christmas. Also -- you have the makings of a writer: consider a monetised blog/ book etc in the future. :)

If i get left anywhere i find my own way home.
And get rid of the trash when i get in.

Did that include the wife whose husband has been cheating on her? Did you tell her if so?

AGREE.

Use the time he's gone to line up your ducks and start getting legal filing done.

Get your identity and other official papers together and maybe give them to your parents to hold for safekeeping.
He'll be back, all lovey dovey; he thinks he's letting you stew. Don't stew, marshall your troops and be ready for him.

Irish for Dad.

Do you know where he took the rings? I dare say they might not release then to you, but if you have proof that they're yours (photos?) maybe they'd at least not release then to him and just hold on to them.

And seriously, well done. I love the confidence in your voice now (and the Irishness in the way you're relating all this). You're great!

Here girls the calls this afternoon were telling me of our love story and how he couldn’t live a day without me… I’ll let god do his work on that one 😇

The children have been great you know the house is so much more settled and at peace. It’s so lovely having family around and being genuinely happy. Why didn’t I kick him at the first hello?

The calls and messages I’ve got today he hasn’t asked once about the children. He started off as Romeo and as we all knew, the mask slipped and he’s back to Beelzebub

Awful hard luck about the key snapping and having to replace before Christmas 🙄 SIL has donated two extra door bell cameras to cover garage and back of house.

DAH (asshole husband) is a developer and I’ve discovered that there hasn’t been much developing going on other than the development of romance between the junior accounts girl. Her mam didn’t have a lot to say about that…

Cheating husband friend and his wife landed here about 6 this evening. I calmly asked would they like to take a bag each for DAH. Of course cheating husband friend was slandering him to the ground I think he’s worried I’ll let the cat out of the bag.

Here’s the topper though, my rings are in his wardrobe underneath his “funeral shoes”.

We’re having a December bbq this evening. There’s a lot of Canada Goose in there 😗

Thank you all for your support. I’m unsure if I’m slipping in to madness or if I’ve just had the blinkers taken off but either way I am feeling pretty good.

Thank you all so very much, I didn’t think this much support would have ever come from a thread. You’re amazing 💚

You sound like you’ve found your strength , good on you , he sounds horrible,

THIS ^

@Craics90 i am saying he took your rings off you to match the story he has been telling that you are “split “

Was it just his mates out on Saturday or his “work” junior and friends .

It gets better with him than ever anticipated.

I don’t think you ever will take him back , truly hope you keep him gone .

He really did think he had you where he wanted you .

What a merry Christmas you and the kids can and will have now . ❤️