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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change my child's name at 18 months

148 replies

LovelyDIL · 14/12/2024 19:56

I know the answer is yes but I honestly hate it. I've always been unsure about it and the feeling won't go away. There's another name I prefer.
What would you do?

OP posts:
OrsolaRosso · 14/12/2024 19:58

Depends on the name?

Grassgarden · 14/12/2024 19:58

I don't like one of my childrens names and they are now 15, so I do understand, but it is a bit late. Is there a shortening of their name or name that is similair that you could call them by?

Stormyweatheroutthere · 14/12/2024 19:58

A variation of the original name probably.. A brand new name surely not?

Alalalala · 14/12/2024 19:59

Yes do it. I knew a family who did this and they were so relieved afterwards - the original name just didn’t feel right.

Pleatherandlace · 14/12/2024 20:00

Go for it. If you feel this way after 18 months I don’t think it will get any better. The child will adapt.

Original poster
LovelyDIL · 14/12/2024 20:00

I know. I wondered if i gave her the new name as a middle name? I was thinking pre her starting school we might get away with it.

OP posts:
Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 14/12/2024 20:01

Do they have an existing middle name that they could be known as instead?

Your child presumably responds to their name now?

Original poster
LovelyDIL · 14/12/2024 20:01

Oh and ye the name is the name. You can't shorten it/ no variations

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 14/12/2024 20:01

If you feel strongly.
Maybe keep as middle name.
Start by verbally double barrelling it so
Zack-> Charlie Zack -> Charlie.

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/12/2024 20:01

From what to what ? Who chose the name in the first place?
It will be a huge amount of admin and could easily cause your child (I'll call them 'Tank') problems later in life. Best cause scenario is a hassle for Tank when they need to obtain official documents or make large financial transactions. Tank won't thank you for that.

Annabella92 · 14/12/2024 20:02

How did they end up with the wrong name?

Woahtherehoney · 14/12/2024 20:02

A woman I used to work with changed her first name at 35 so I don’t see why not! But will it confuse your little one?

HeddaGarbled · 14/12/2024 20:03

There’s something about changing the name that seems not right to me: like the child is an accessory rather than a person.

I’d go with a derivation, nickname, middle name, I think.

Original poster
LovelyDIL · 14/12/2024 20:05

TeenToTwenties · 14/12/2024 20:01

If you feel strongly.
Maybe keep as middle name.
Start by verbally double barrelling it so
Zack-> Charlie Zack -> Charlie.

Oo I like this! Yes the new name and current name could go together actually.

I tell myself she chose the name. Reason being DH and I had a name and that's the one I now prefer. One night her name popped in my head and I said " what about...." and it just stuck.

And so i tell myself she picked it...which i know is daft but it does stop me driving myself crazy about it sometimes

OP posts:
Zov · 14/12/2024 20:07

I'm sure you can't legally change a child's name after they have passed their first birthday.

I could be wrong. It may have been changed. But that was how it was the last time I heard.

Original poster
LovelyDIL · 14/12/2024 20:07

HeddaGarbled · 14/12/2024 20:03

There’s something about changing the name that seems not right to me: like the child is an accessory rather than a person.

I’d go with a derivation, nickname, middle name, I think.

You're so right. I think if there's any option it's changing her middle name.

OP posts:
Original poster
LovelyDIL · 14/12/2024 20:09

Bogginsthe3rd · 14/12/2024 20:01

From what to what ? Who chose the name in the first place?
It will be a huge amount of admin and could easily cause your child (I'll call them 'Tank') problems later in life. Best cause scenario is a hassle for Tank when they need to obtain official documents or make large financial transactions. Tank won't thank you for that.

Would she always have to fill out that " have you ever been known by any other names' bit on forms? I hadn't thought of that

OP posts:
BlackChunkyBoots · 14/12/2024 20:09

I wish I could change my DD's middle names. Her first name is generic too, but I didn't choose any of her names. Her Gt Grandmother had a lovely name and I would have liked her to have that, but, never mind it's too late now, she's a legal adult & can decide for herself.

PickledPony · 14/12/2024 20:13

I personally wouldn’t unless the current name is something awful. I’m not overly keen on one of my children’s names (exh choose it) but she really likes her name and when I’ve mentioned the name that was a favourite of mine she doesn’t like that. Admin wise it will be a hassle for her and she may actually prefer her name that she has now.

Teebles007 · 14/12/2024 20:15

At 18 months my DGD knows her name and refers to herself by her name ( in the 3rd person such as Tank's dolly, Tank's snack). She would certainly be confused if her parents suddenly changed her name . It seems a very strange thing to do to a child who at that age is developing their own identity and place in their world.

Tiswa · 14/12/2024 20:15

With respect it is no longer your name it is hers and changing it could not only be confusing but cause her issues in the future

give her time she might change it herself as a teenage

TeenToTwenties · 14/12/2024 20:15

Zov · 14/12/2024 20:07

I'm sure you can't legally change a child's name after they have passed their first birthday.

I could be wrong. It may have been changed. But that was how it was the last time I heard.

That's wrong. You can't revise the original birth certificate, but if both parents agree you can change the name.

Listing previous names may still be needed for some things but iirc some other things (like dbs?) only needs things from age 10 or something.

Stormyweatheroutthere · 14/12/2024 20:16

Are you still with her df?

stargazerlil · 14/12/2024 20:18

Tiswa · 14/12/2024 20:15

With respect it is no longer your name it is hers and changing it could not only be confusing but cause her issues in the future

give her time she might change it herself as a teenage

She’s 18 months, I don’t think it will cause her any stress at all.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 14/12/2024 20:20

Agree with previous posters. It’s her name now, not yours to mess with. Give her a nickname and call her by that, but on paper she is who she is. And “have you ever been known by any other names” is a hassle enough if you change your name on marriage. Life happens and she could end up having to declare 3 or more names.