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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

sitting in costa coffee

728 replies

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 14/12/2024 15:26

Went to costa coffee ordered drinks, sandwiches & cake. Myself & partner said we will eat in rather than take away. Place was full most seats were taken apart from a four seater table where some woman was sat. I asked if the seats on her table were taken and she said we can not sit on her table as she is with her DS.
In the end a chinese couple offered their seats and we eventually got a seat.
AIBU expecting a seat on womans table for me and my partner as no one was sat in them?

OP posts:
CatVapour · 14/12/2024 15:28

Some people are very antisocial.

MyPithyPoster · 14/12/2024 15:29

Always seek forgiveness instead of permission

pestoblush · 14/12/2024 15:31

😂😂😂 I wouldn’t have asked but that’s ridiculous of her taking up four seats

Hence why I only go to Costa dry early on a Sunday morning

VodkaCola · 14/12/2024 15:32

Why is it relevant that the couple are Chinese?

And no one has to share their table with you!

CatsndtheBear · 14/12/2024 15:34

I would not enjoy my time with complete strangers sat at my table... You were the unreasonable one here.

She arrived first, the 4 seater may have been the only table left. Hence she was entitled to it.

YellowRollercoaster · 14/12/2024 15:35

I don't understand why you queued up and bought something without getting a table (of your own) first?

JeremiahBullfrog · 14/12/2024 15:36

Coffee shops are first come first served I'm afraid. You need to check for a free table before you order. Two groups of two at a four-seater table (they're often tiny!) would be incredibly awkward.

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 15:36

YABU.
She got there first and doesn't have to share her table with two random people!
As for the 'chinese couple', why is their ethnicity relevant?

Zippidydoodah · 14/12/2024 15:37

A Chinese couple? What nationality was the first woman? 🤔

TotallyTwisted · 14/12/2024 15:37

If you under-occupy a table in a busy cafe, you have to be prepared to let strangers have the spare seats IMO. So I would just have sat down and if the woman didn't like it, well, she knows where the exit is.

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 15:39

TotallyTwisted · 14/12/2024 15:37

If you under-occupy a table in a busy cafe, you have to be prepared to let strangers have the spare seats IMO. So I would just have sat down and if the woman didn't like it, well, she knows where the exit is.

Not at all, especially if it's the only spare table. She was maybe waiting for someone - OP said she mentioned her daughter.

Bournetilly · 14/12/2024 15:40

YABU, she was already at the table.
Why did you need to tell us that the couple were Chinese? That has no relevance to the story.

Cherry8809 · 14/12/2024 15:41

TotallyTwisted · 14/12/2024 15:37

If you under-occupy a table in a busy cafe, you have to be prepared to let strangers have the spare seats IMO. So I would just have sat down and if the woman didn't like it, well, she knows where the exit is.

This is what we’re doing now? Lol.

I would never dream of inflicting myself upon others that way.

PinkFrogss · 14/12/2024 15:42

What was the race of the woman?

IAm16StoneHalloween2024 · 14/12/2024 15:43

I’m so sick of selfish bastards hogging tables, sometimes they haven’t even got any fucking drinks because the person they are with is queuing up, while people with actual drinks in their hands cannot find anywhere to sit.

The last time this happened to me I went back to the till and asked for a refund as there weren’t any seats, they were mostly taken up with people waiting for someone who was in the queue behind me. The staff told people to move and got me seats.

I just don’t go anywhere near cafes that look even half full now.

My blood pressure thanks me for that decision. I go to a cafe to relax and eat/drink, not get annoyed.

dixon86 · 14/12/2024 15:43

Well the responses are predictable

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 14/12/2024 15:43

Women who declined me a seat was english.

OP posts:
Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 15:44

dixon86 · 14/12/2024 15:43

Well the responses are predictable

So you think it's ok to force yourself upon others? 🫣

PinkFrogss · 14/12/2024 15:46

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 14/12/2024 15:43

Women who declined me a seat was english.

Why did you miss this vital information from your post?

Anyway I don’t think anyone is really BU (apart from you thinking the fact someone is not white needs commenting on), you were NBU to want to sit at the available seats, she was NBU to not want to share a table.

leia24 · 14/12/2024 15:47

I would not want a stranger to sit at my table. Would you go for a meal with a friend and have a stranger on your table? I find it so weird when people do want to sit down at my table.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 14/12/2024 15:47

You were being unreasonable, if there wasn’t a table available you shouldn’t have ordered to eat in; if you went to a full restaurant would you expect to be seated at a table being used by another party? The usual etiquette is that you wait until a table becomes clear, not that you try and squeeze into the empty seats at a table somebody is already occupying.

Examconfusion · 14/12/2024 15:47

YABU for going to costa it’s shit and the sandwiches are terrible

biscuitsandbooks · 14/12/2024 15:47

One of you should have got a table while the other queued up.

Topsyturvy78 · 14/12/2024 15:49

I wouldn't have even ordered if there was no seats. Just gone somewhere else instead. I wouldn't be comfortable with strangers asking to share. Bit different when it's McDonald's on those long ones. You can leave space between you & people you don't know.

TartanMammy · 14/12/2024 15:50

I wouldn't want to share my table either.

Why does the nationality matter?