sitting in costa coffee

[IveGotToGoToMeDads]

Went to costa coffee ordered drinks, sandwiches & cake. Myself & partner said we will eat in rather than take away. Place was full most seats were taken apart from a four seater table where some woman was sat. I asked if the seats on her table were taken and she said we can not sit on her table as she is with her DS.
In the end a chinese couple offered their seats and we eventually got a seat.
AIBU expecting a seat on womans table for me and my partner as no one was sat in them?

You can ask all you want, but the other people aren't obliged to say yes.

You just keep on giving here....

Several posters have explained very clearly that maybe this was the only table free for the original couple.

Yep - if you're rude with no social awareness, sure.

It's not a restaurant though is it? I would not want to share a table in a restaurant but have no problem in a coffee shop.

Me and DH often ask to share a table and have never had anyone refuse. When people ask us if they can share we always say yes.

Do you not have the awareness to realise there probably weren't any smaller tables when they arrived?

That is tough then if someone else sits there

I go to coffee shops alone, and sometimes have no choice but to sit at a table for 4, because it's only empty table in the shop. If a smaller table became available and the shop was still busy I'd move to it, but if not I'd be the woman at the table for 4. I would however be OK with others sitting at the empty seats, unlike the women mentioned in the OP.

I think it's unreasonable, but in fact there's a quite fine line. Probably most of us would be uncomfortable with sharing in a 'proper restaurant' but where's the crossover point? OK in Costa, maybe in MacDonalds, not in the Ivy?

It's only something I became aware of a few years ago when I had to share a table in Switzerland in a place nearer the 'proper restaurant' end of the spectrum.

I'm glad I don't live in your world.

Why, does he bite?

The principle is exactly the same.

Surely people here understand that there are not always tables for 2 ?
Two people use a larger table.

They aren't obliged to share it.
If they want to, fine.

The OP surely saw that the cafe was full and there were only 2 seats on a table already occupied.

Before she bought her coffee she ought to have checked if they could share. Not afterwards.

I've been on both sides of this, as I guess most people have.

I think the fact that's it's Costa, a coffee, which is very very much take or leave, that Yabu. You shouldn't have ordered a coffee to drink on without checking you had a place to sit in first. That's pretty entitled, it's a bit different if it's eg the only eating place in eg a zoo over lunchtime, then it is a bit more acceptable to share tables.

I remember once when dd2 was about 3 months, she'd been breastfed and it was my very first proper good few hours off being with her. I thought I'll go to a cafe, get coffee and cake and read a paper im peace. So so excited. You know what's coming. I was absolutely gutted especially when the lady who plonked down with her toddler was one of those who thought everyone would find everything her toddler said hilarious. I was absolutely gutted.

Nobody, nobody wants someone on the same table as them. So, do it if you must, eg must eat, starving but appreciate that if you're going to disturb someone else's peace, that's rude.

So, to paraphrase, you didn't want to sit next to people of colour and are complaining because your fellow white forced you to?
Is that right?
(also, you can't tell if someone's Chinese by looking at them)

It isn't rude if you ask to sit there politely.

It' rude to refuse when there are space seats, both parties have paid to be seated. I've known staff go to half empty tables and ask if others can sit. You do not own or rent the table unless it is a reservation.

No it's not 'tough'.

It's rude and the person at the table can tell them not to sit there.

IMO too

YANBU OP !!

No, you can't.
Costa Coffee isn't 'a public space', it's a business.

I agree it's fine to ask.

I don't agree it's rude to refuse unless it's somewhere with communal tables like McDonald's.

If OP wanted to sit there, she should have checked it was okay before ordering her food, not afterwards.

So what?

The couple who gave you their seats were nice. The woman who told you you couldn’t sit at her table for four was not so nice. Their ethnicity (because you would have been unaware of their nationalities unless they’d shown you their passports during this whole event) is completely irrelevant unless you’re making some sort of comparison or suggesting that you expected different behaviour from them because of their ethnicity. And I’m sure you wouldn’t be doing that, because that would make you a racist arsehole, which I’m sure you’re not.

I don’t think you or the woman covered yourselves in glory here. She was being unreasonable to think that she could commandeer a four seater table in a busy cafe without the possibility of having to share it with someone. You have unreasonable expectations that two seats should magically become available in a busy cafe simply because you have decided to eat in. When you joined the queue, didn’t you look around you, see no empty tables and then think to yourselves ‘Ah, I see it’s busy. There are no empty tables. We will not be able to eat in, so we’ll have to either get takeaway, come back later or go somewhere else’?

Even if staff ask you can refuse.

Most people with any sense look for seats before joining a queue.

If the cafe is full or there are only shared tables, they move on.

A business that will want to fill as many seats as possible, whose side do you think they will be on

No one is obliged to share their table. Only on MN do I come across people who will queue, but a full meal and drinks and then turn around and discover there is no where to sit. Bloody stupid

What are they going to do?

It works both ways- is they annoy a customer already seated they won't go back.
So they would lose business that way.

The CEO isn't knocking about keeping an eye on the tables. The poorly paid frontline staff don't really care, they aren't going to police the environment.

Hopefully not the one having the strop.