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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

sitting in costa coffee

728 replies

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 14/12/2024 15:26

Went to costa coffee ordered drinks, sandwiches & cake. Myself & partner said we will eat in rather than take away. Place was full most seats were taken apart from a four seater table where some woman was sat. I asked if the seats on her table were taken and she said we can not sit on her table as she is with her DS.
In the end a chinese couple offered their seats and we eventually got a seat.
AIBU expecting a seat on womans table for me and my partner as no one was sat in them?

OP posts:
mikado1 · 14/12/2024 15:50

Examconfusion · 14/12/2024 15:47

YABU for going to costa it’s shit and the sandwiches are terrible

100% and so overpriced. The place leaves me cold.
If there was no other seat, I'd have said yes as I don't own the tables, but would rather not.
Years ago a coffee shop host thought my dM and I would love to sit with a couple that he knew we knew... so he just brought us to their table! 4 of us sat together for Saturday lunch 😆 Sometimes I think of it and laugh.

catlovingdoctor · 14/12/2024 15:52

MolkosTeenageAngst · 14/12/2024 15:47

You were being unreasonable, if there wasn’t a table available you shouldn’t have ordered to eat in; if you went to a full restaurant would you expect to be seated at a table being used by another party? The usual etiquette is that you wait until a table becomes clear, not that you try and squeeze into the empty seats at a table somebody is already occupying.

Well said

coffeeandteav · 14/12/2024 15:53

I hate having a nice chat with others right by me. It is awkward. Personal space please.

DinaofCloud9 · 14/12/2024 15:53

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 15:39

Not at all, especially if it's the only spare table. She was maybe waiting for someone - OP said she mentioned her daughter.

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She didn't mention a daughter.

You should have got a seat before queueing op.

Kitkat1523 · 14/12/2024 15:53

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 14/12/2024 15:43

Women who declined me a seat was english.

I wouldn’t want to share a table with you either……I would hate to share a table with some randomers …..I wouldn’t enjoy my coffee…..you would irritate me just by sitting there…..find a table before you order….or go elsewhere 🤷‍♀️

feathermucker · 14/12/2024 15:54

I wouldn't enjoy my visit if I had to share a table.

You ordered sandwiches etc without there being a free table.

They got there first.

asthecrowdwaschantingmore · 14/12/2024 15:54

YellowRollercoaster · 14/12/2024 15:35

I don't understand why you queued up and bought something without getting a table (of your own) first?

Because people complain about that, too. YOu can't win.

feathermucker · 14/12/2024 15:54

TotallyTwisted · 14/12/2024 15:37

If you under-occupy a table in a busy cafe, you have to be prepared to let strangers have the spare seats IMO. So I would just have sat down and if the woman didn't like it, well, she knows where the exit is.

Are you normally that rude?

Orangelight23 · 14/12/2024 15:55

I can't stand it when people ask to share a table. If there are no tables free then there is no where to sit. YABU

NicolaCasanova · 14/12/2024 15:55

I would have said hello politely and sat down.

Sleetwave · 14/12/2024 15:56

I always thought the etiquette in places that aren’t table service was to get your food then find a table? Otherwise what do you do if you are alone?

JudgeJ · 14/12/2024 15:57

Zippidydoodah · 14/12/2024 15:37

A Chinese couple? What nationality was the first woman? 🤔

A British, white, middle-class boomer maybe! How many points do I score?

WrongSortOfPoster · 14/12/2024 15:57

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 14/12/2024 15:43

Women who declined me a seat was english.

Talk about drip-feeding. Are you sure she wasn't born in Scotland, Northern Ireland or Wales?

Bumcake · 14/12/2024 15:58

Are you sure the couple wasn’t Vietnamese?

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 15:58

DinaofCloud9 · 14/12/2024 15:53

She didn't mention a daughter.

You should have got a seat before queueing op.

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Sorry son, I see it's DS not DD, same idea though.

AnnaFrith · 14/12/2024 15:59

I wouldn't want to share a table. I want peace and quiet if I'm having a coffee.
But I definitely wouldn't order anything unless I had a table first.

feathermucker · 14/12/2024 15:59

I wonder how those saying they'd just sit down would feel if the roles were reversed?!

For example, if the only table available to you was a 4 seater and someone else came along, took the remaining seats and sat down, you'd say nothing and just accept it?!

OlympicWomen · 14/12/2024 15:59

Cherry8809 · 14/12/2024 15:41

This is what we’re doing now? Lol.

I would never dream of inflicting myself upon others that way.

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I agree. I would consider that to be really rude!

JudgeJ · 14/12/2024 15:59

feathermucker · 14/12/2024 15:54

Are you normally that rude?

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Not rude at all, it's the same as getting on a train and finding the only seat is at a table occupied by one other person and sitting down. A cup of coffee entitles you to occupy one seat.

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 15:59

NicolaCasanova · 14/12/2024 15:55

I would have said hello politely and sat down.

I would have asked you to please move as the table is occupied. How rude and entitled.

Berlinlover · 14/12/2024 15:59

Who cares if the OP said the couple were Chinese? Why are you all so sensitive? There’s no need to be offended by every little thing.

Iamacatslave · 14/12/2024 16:01

This isn’t going to end well.

OlympicWomen · 14/12/2024 16:01

JudgeJ · 14/12/2024 15:59

Not rude at all, it's the same as getting on a train and finding the only seat is at a table occupied by one other person and sitting down. A cup of coffee entitles you to occupy one seat.

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A train isn't a cafe, in that it's for the purposes of transit, and seating is often shared. In fact I'd say that's the norm.
It's not the norm to share a table with strangers in a cafe.

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 16:01

Berlinlover · 14/12/2024 15:59

Who cares if the OP said the couple were Chinese? Why are you all so sensitive? There’s no need to be offended by every little thing.

Why did it matter what ethnicity they were?

Parratha · 14/12/2024 16:02

I'd hate if someone asked if they could share my table. It changes the atmosphere completely and curtains what you can speak about. I hate to let someone else hear my conversation and I hate having to listen to others'. YABU