He’s fucking locked me out.

[FuckingFreezing1]

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

Onwards and upwards, OP. Well done.
Just make sure you get yourself off the tenancy, because you can guarantee he won't be paying the rent, and you don't want to be liable. X

I have just finished work and the first thing I did was check for your updates. Thank God you are safe and have left him in the rearview mirror OP. That's fantastic news. I am so glad you are going to get a new beginning. Much love and light and joy to you on your journey ✨️ 💛

OP, life is so short.
You deserve so much better than this thundering prick.

Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk and arm yourself with the tools to never allow anyone like him, near you again.

Glad your ok @FuckingFreezing1

now to the practical get of the tenancy asap it should be easy enough as it’s a HA property. Tell them why as well.

have you sorted out some digs for now, have you spoken to your mum or is that a no the now.

one step at a time

So proud of you OP. Get yourself off the tenancy first thing Monday

Also block him once you have advised him that you have left.

Tge suggestion to do the freedom program is a good one. Sending you a warm hug and wishing you all the best

.

Oh love, I'm glad you've managed to get your important belongings. To be honest, the biggest thing you've collected this morning is your dignity - we are proud of you.

No one has to put up with this shit - you've been more than tolerant. Time to move forward now. Better things will come, focus on YOU first.

Remember to sever any financial commitment you have and get your name removed from any bills heading his way.

Well done OP.
Another vote for the Freedom Programme.
Contact the HA on Monday and ask to be removed from the tenancy, then the prick can pick up all the bills himself.

[There was no mention of violence/coercion, historic or otherwise] In my world, it wouldn't be considered remotely idiotic; the preceding several years of tolerance would be thus.

I usually avoid these threads when the high fiving starts (thank you for the reminder).

Stay strong. Six years is long enough to waste on that toxic trash. Have the best Christmas and start 2025 as a new woman, without a useless weight around your neck.

Well done OP. This is the first day of the rest of your life 💪

I'm so happy to read your update, I've been thinking of you! I don't think I would have been as nice as you though, I'd have taken those keys and denied it all the way.
Onward and upwards and happy Christmas

I’m so relieved that you’ve come back to the thread OP. I was getting really worried for your safety.

Just popping back to say well done, you’ve done it. I really hope you look after yourself.

Ruined his night? I'd ruin his fucking life.

Good for you OP. It’s nice to read a woman stick up for herself. Don’t let him love bomb you back

When you feel weak, come back and read this

Well done OP you've spent enough years with him
Have a lovely Christmas with those who love and support you.
New year, new start
Wishing you well

Good for you. 30 is no age believe me.

Well done OP! You’re a legend.

OP, hope you're in your mom's house.
I am heart broken for you.

Well done OP! so happy for you - hear’s to a fresh new start for you in 2025!

Take some time next week to cancel your name from all the bills and the tenancy.

Well done for leaving. 👏🏻👏🏻

Please don’t ever go back to him.

Oh ffs.

So there's a man who treated OP like shit for 6 years, left her outside to freeze for the whole night in December, came back after a whole night of coking/drinking/both and was sleeping of a monster of hangover when OP was packing up to leave. His cash cow, bill payer, food cooker, cleaner, emotional punching bag is leaving him.

And you suggest to crash, bang, and make a scene in this scenario? So the hungover oaf wakes up from his sleep, pissed off, and sees OP leaving him? Yea. Smart.

I've known one 'feisty' (stupid) woman like that. Last time she did this, it was EXACTLY the same scenario (without the locking out part). Him sleeping drunk after an argument, her crashing, banging and gathering her shit. He woke up, she called him all sorts whilst crashing and banging. He put her in hospital with life changing injuries. She never fully recovered and is unable to move half of her face.

It's monumentally stupid to provoke a man who is not sober and who you're leaving. Even if there was no physical abuse up to that point. He can always snap, there's always a first time with his sort.

I wasn’t giving him the opportunity to turn it on me. That’s why I didn’t cause a scene. And men like this, no amount of shouting crying and begging makes any difference and I’ve learned that the hard way

Well done. You have 💯 done the right thing. I feel so sorry for what u have gone though. You sound like a lovely person. Happy Christmas and new year.

You deserve a lovely partner who loves you. Here's to 2025 - onwards and upwards.

@FuckingFreezing1 well done. I bet that’s a weight off. But, please sort out the bills and explain to the landlord exactly what’s happened and make sure you are no longer liable. With your name on stuff he could trash the place if he can’t pay and then disappear leaving a hell of a mess for you.