He’s fucking locked me out.

[FuckingFreezing1]

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

I would have taken the keys with me or did you grab your stuff to leave

In a way it's good that you have this thread to look back on and the validation it's not you it's him. I have done what you did after I saw the light after one time too many. Apart from some of my CDs I left in his multi CD changer (remember them?!) I packed a suitcase and left. Never looked back. Now 25 years later happy and loved. You are worth more and you will find someone who believes that too.

Hope you took the keys OP.

2025 is going to be a better year for you without this absolute arsehole.

💐

No I took my key rings. He can have the keys.

So you left and let yourself be locked out of the house again?

I don’t plan on going back

Good for you OP, good for you.

Be that as it may, you say you have a joint tenancy, so all your stuff will be there, including, I assume, important documents. That you have just given him power over.

That’s fantastic news @FuckingFreezing1 x

Nope. My passport and any documentation has never left my mums, neither has anything sentimental or of value. Not after what happened to my dad’s ring. I’ve never had any say on the furniture or decor in the flat I just had to pay for it so I don’t actually want it

That's actually great, OP. Just leave the cunt to his own shitty life. Tell him you will call the police if he comes near you and block him on everything.

Proud of you!!!
Hope all those who are reading this and are in a similar situation learn from this and gain the courage to do the same.
You have so much to give and he did not deserve you!!
You deserve so much more than this!!!
Stay strong!!!!

As long as you can sort your admin out to get you out of tenancy/bills, good for you.
At some point he will get up one day and realise you are not there to do all the donkey work. He may come to you about changing his ways.
Never forget what it felt like last night to be left outside. And if he loses those keys again, and he’s left outside, not your problem.
He is a horrible excuse for a human being.
Have the best Christmas you can with your mum.

What happened your Dad's ring? Regardless, proud of you for realising this has to be the end. There is a better, calmer, more rewarding future out there for you

Only read the OPs posts
You poor, poor thing. I have no words. The actions of this ‘man’ are absolutely fucking disgusting. I really feel for you. Please leave him and never look back. You’re worth more than this - and I don’t even know you.

Well done OP. Onwards and upwards.

I really hope OP you get some rest and in time recognise how the kindness and care of strangers has been more than that shown by this supposed man. I’m in awe of how brave you’ve been reaching out and trusting the MN voices many words of wisdom with regards to having counselling, being satisfied with yourself etc …take care and so so glad you remained safe .

@FuckingFreezing1 I just want to send you strength, kindness and love! I was really upset for you last night, and now today reading your updates! Please don't go back to him, you are worth so much more. Realise your worth!! ❤️💐

Why would you prevent him from sleeping by crashing and banging around, what an idiotic thing to do, in the context the OP has described.

Did you read the bit about him being an abusive arsehole? That's asking for trouble. He could quite easily turn on the OP.

The best thing the OP can do is extricate herself from this whole situation as calmly, quickly and safely as possible, including sorting out possession of the LA property depending if it's in joint names or in hers or his sole name. Having a roof over her head is the priority, not wasting effort deliberately trying to piss him off.

That's absolutely the right thing to do. You'll feel the stress and exhaustion from his years of abuse melt away just by not having him in your life,

Here's hoping he goes out tonight and loses the keys!!
Well done OP, its going to be tough for a little while getting yourself over this hump but you can only go upward from here, you should be proud of yourself

Just read this whole thread, OP, he’s an utter, utter c**t. Appalling behaviour on his part. You are so much better off without him.

I hope you’re safe at your mum’s now and can start to rebuild your life away from this utter waste of space!

Well done OP. Proud of you. Stay at your Mum's. Get yourself sorted. 👍😁❤️

Well bloody done OP.

But, he'll wonder where the payer of bills has gone and will do everything to bring you back. Don't fall for it. He's an abusive piece of shit.

Well done OP. Sending love and strength xx