He’s fucking locked me out.

[FuckingFreezing1]

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

Me too. Just imagine how much better 2025 is going to be when this loser isn’t hanging around, being a knob and pulling you down.

I was involved with a man like this in my late teens early 20's.I also wonder often what made him like that.Iknow he had , had a really horrible trauma early on, and probably had an avoident attachmemt style.
I was very niave and too nice to him, put up with a lot.
I think partly because I had never experience anything like it before.I defintely had self esteem issues, but not really.sure why, as my parents were really kind and loving.
That's what saved me though my parents relationship, as I knew not everone behaved like him.
OP you don't have to except this behaviour, save yourself! You'll be so proud of yourself, he's sad and pathetic that's why he behaves like this.

This is awful. If you leave him, your life will be better - I promise you.

Hi there,

Just a quick one to say we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board - if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been around. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are - and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

We're going to head over to the thread now and just make sure everyone there is aware of that, too.

We hope this sets your mind at rest a bit.

OP, we hope things get sorted.

Best wishes,
MNHQ

OP, I left XH at 34 after nearly ten years of an abusive relationship. I’m now happily married with two children and a lovely home. You can do it. This next bit is the hardest. But you can see now that you’re worth so much more and it won’t improve no matter how long you stay. I’m so sorry he treats you so badly, but that’s down to him, not you. There’s so much support for you here - believe the people who tell you you’re strong and worth more, not the vile things he tells you.

Well this is a stupid plan if you’re just going to give him your key anyway. What if he lost that?

How do you know? I sometimes lose stuff but it wouldn’t occur to me to tell my mates about it 😂, it’s not that interesting.

I'm so sorry op, this man is vile. Please don't put up with this any more, you deserve so much better. Make a plan to escape as soon as possible. 2025 can be the start of a much more positive era for you. Please don't feed off the crumbs he gives you any more.

Take the day off work.
Take back your keys and spend part of the day packing his stuff.
Be out partying (staying with your Mum) with the keys when he comes home and sees his bags.
Call it quits, Op.
29 is old enough to comprehend that living alone is preferable.

If Op isn't genuine she went to a lot of trouble to fool us. Posting through the night with screen shots of conversations.
Typical though to get up this morning, not bother to use the very useful feature, "OP's posts. Read all", instead ask a load of inane questions, then report the thread.

Just let us know later OP that you're OK.
Hope it was mum or the police who caused you to stop posting so abruptly and not the boyfriend who would be incapable.

Morning OP.

Well. I really hope you're going into 2025 free of this bloodsucking cuntbag of a manchild! Right now it will feel like shit, really awful cos you've to admit to yourself all that you've put up with & that's going to hurt.

But!

Once that's done & this part is in the past you're just sailing free into your 30's (which is far far better than your 20's in so many ways).

Don't change your mind.
Don't let him lovebomb you.
Don't feel bad.

You've got this! Shitty, shitty way for this to have happened but obviously necessary. Hopefully your mum has your back & you get your keyrings. Just write the rest off, it's poisoned now anyway.

Or why not read the whole thread @BusyGoldBee.

Jeez, louder for those at the back! Read the fucking thread you numpties.

Stop with the minutiae. What does it matter? It matters only that she's safe and now gets away from him.

If any of the troll hunters want to give up their valuable time to be a CAB advisor, they'd find people who've had many years of abuse come in for advice.

The OP is right to realise she could be in this situation in years to come, people often hope that their situations will improve but sadly, it's generally not the case.

Heartbreaking advising a 70+yo who's still being battered...either mentally, emotionally or physically.

I’m fucking raging @FuckingFreezing1 !! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

im sorry, but maybe tough love will get to you?

LEAVE THIS MAN! He thinks less of you than dog poop. He won’t step on that but he will step on you.

He left you in those conditions outside and didn’t come home to let you in????

It is madness to be near someone who is so malicious to you.

He will never change, and why should he. Most times bad and evil men are empowered by women.
Women that couldn’t say no and let them trample over them.

Please leave, it will never ever get better. You’ve shown him that he can treat you badly and you’ll stay. You shown him that you treasure him more than yourself and that is now the blueprint of your relationship. He will never step up to be the man you want, because you’ve shown him many times that you’ll accept his crap.

You are too young to be living in such misery and too dependent on him. Literally the perfect breeding ground for abuse.

• Leave him
• get new friends
• learn to drive

Never let your man be your world! But the most important thing is that you chuck him out ASAP or move in with your mum.

Be prepared for gaslighting, abuse or the opposite. Tears and promises to be better. If he apologises just know he will not change and if you stay with him it’ll be more misery.

in fact, if you stay with him after today. The abuse may step up, because you would show him that he can treat you in the worst way and you will stay

Hope you are safe and warm OP. That was the best thing he could have done for you last night, that was your line in the sand. You can have no doubts now as to how he thinks he can treat you. You don't even seem like you like him, and how could you. Imagine that life on the other side. You're still so young. Wishing a bright future ahead.

@magicalmrmistoffelees We talk about allsorts 😂 never have to replace keys, cards, phone etc.

OP, one day you’ll actually thank this sad and sorry incident, because it’s given you the huge shove you need to cut lose this nasty self-centred bastard.

He doesn’t care about you, and you are worth so much more.

Go to your mums. She’ll be proud of you for being brave and leaving him.

You’re still so young and you’ve got your whole life ahead of you 😊💃

Hope you got home OP x

Given his track record of losing keys it would have been prudent to install a key safe with a spare in it. And not tell him the code so he couldn’t take it and lose it. This situation would not then have arisen. Better still he should have been an ex long since.

I hope you are safe now. I echo many on here that are saying please reevaluate your relationship with this person. He cares very little for your safety and wellbeing.

@KimberleyClark I hope that made you feel better. Just what the OP needs right now, sheesh

Let's put the key safe question to bed...

She lives in a LA flat with key fob entry at the main door. To be of any use the key safe would need to be outside the main door and IME you would not be allowed to install anything like that in LA owned properties.

If he has form losing multiple keys this makes zero sense. If he lost that key then what would you do?! You're on here complaining about him and folk are saying well how have you got yourself on this predicament and you're quite aggressively pushing back on them. If there's only one key and he loses them all the time then the remaining key needs to be with you at all times and the fact it wasn't is on you really as this post says that you were the one that told him to take it.

Hope you are safe and warm OP. I really hope this will be the eye opening event that helped you realise you deserve so so much more than this good for nothing arsehole. No one should be treated this way in their relationship and being single will be a MILLION times better than being with him. I'm sure everyone on here will be wishing you well and be able to continue offering practical tips and support to get things in order to leave him and start afresh.