He’s fucking locked me out.

[FuckingFreezing1]

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

OP, are you ok?

He could have easily popped home and then gone back out. He's a first grade ahole. Do not stay with this man.

Why are you still with him. And even worse trusting him with the only key to
Your house?!!

You need therapy and boundaries. Do you have real life support?

I hate this man.

Give yourself the most wonderful Christmas gift and get rid of the shitstain.

Can you take this discussion elsewhere? I'm not the thread police or anything but I don't think this victim blaming topic needs to be interspersed throughout the OP's thread during a distressing event that is happening to her in real time, do you?
Start your own thread about how wise you are.

If he’s going to cause any sort of fuss over this and not be grovelling with an apology when he’s lost previous keys and now locked you out, you need to dump him immediately as this isn’t a loving relationship

I just want to add to the chorus of people telling you how this isn't your fault. It's not of course about the keys and the broken agreement he'd be home first to let you in. It's about power and keeping you in your place. I really hope your place will soon become very very far away from his.

He’s lost multiple keys and so I think OP was mad to give him their only remaining set.

OP I left my abusive ‘D’P of 5 years when I was 29. 6 years on and I have the best DH and DD in the world. Set yourself free and find happiness! There is someone else out there for you who will you make you happier than you ever imagined possible and who will treat you like a queen. I knew when I told my DF there’d no be going back. I hope you’ve told your DM and it’ll be the same for you. Please please please be strong and leave him and never look back! I wish you all the best ❤️ xxxx

I read the OPs posts and I stand by my post. I would never give my key, the only key there is, to someone who keeps losing keys, no matter what he said about being home first. What if he had been home first and had lost the key.

So perhaps you need to have the decency to read and understand posts before posting so rudely. 🙄

Be careful op, if he doesn't pay rent and bills you will be liable. One of you needs to come off the tenancy. Start by getting yoyr ducks on a row. Make sure his name is on all the bills ... get advice on just paying yoyr half. No more cleaning. Washing, cooking for him.
You deserve better ... keep thing yourself this!

I completely agree.

I think it’s @Cottonheadedninhymuggins who needs to have the decency to filter and read OPs posts before commenting, because if they did they would agree with you about not giving him their only set of keys after losing multiple ones before.

Your 30’s could be absolutely amazing. You have everyone’s hands on your back, whenever you need support, come back here (or start a new thread).

give yourself the best gift, freedom done this twat

Omg OP, I can’t believe anyone could be so selfish and treat someone else with such little regard. This is abusive.
did you get to your mum’s?

I don't know you from Adam so in all honesty I don't really care what you do.......but if this isn't your wake up call I don't know what will be.

Grow a backbone ffs, there's a big shiny world out there that's worth living in without that idiot. Never be so desperate to have a man you degrade yourself like this......get some self respect. He's laughing at you and you're letting him.

I can’t quite believe what I’m reading. You deserve so much better, please OP, I am begging you to leave this man.

It wouldn't surprise me if we don't see the OP again...which would be a shame.

OP if you're able to catch up with it, please keep yourself safe and away from confrontation at the moment. Stay at your mums and cry and rage there. I think a confrontation with him would be devastating right now. He's going to stand his ground and batter you down. Don't offer yourself up for it.
That's my immediate advice for the next day or two.

OP, i hope you are doing all right. Speak to Citizen's advice bureau about the tenancy of the flat and get some advice. I'd also speak to Women's Aid for advice on how to end things. Lastly, consider some therapy...your self esteem is not great which is what happens when you are with someone emotionally abusive. If you can't afford therapy, The Freedom Programme is inexpensive and online and will give you some insights.

And to the posters berating OP. If you have not been abused as a child or adult, you really, really don't have any idea how it affects you. You just don't. Trauma affects a person enormously.

I've read all your updates OP. Poor you - I really hope you are at your Mum's now.

Get some sleep, then pack your stuff and leave the selfish twat. You can do - and deserve - so much better than this.

You sound like an intelligent woman OP. I look forward to hearing about your amazing new life without this cunt.

Same. The exact same wording.

OP, he’s a total dick. I hope you got in safe. Once you’ve got your key back, kick the tosser out.

@FuckingFreezing1 would love to know you've gotten some rest and are safe.

I wonder why any of us women get into relationships at all. The world seems to be full of abusive, selfish, pieces of male entitled shit at every turn.

And before the not all men brigade come at me, yes I know not all men

This thread has enraged me to the point I'm grateful I don't know where to find this prick myself. You're only 29 love, you will be fine, better than fine.