He’s fucking locked me out.

[FuckingFreezing1]

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

I hope this is your tipping point. You deserve a much better life than this.

People lose stuff all the time. You must be in a permanent state of ickess

RTFT would have been less effort than writing that. All of which has been answered multiple times by a very patient OP, despite her very distressing situation.

Heartbreaking to read your updates OP. He is the scum of the earth. Who DOES that?
But 30 is so young, you can honestly chuck him out and live your best life.

He's a callous bastard. So are the posters on here pecking at you about the keys. What the hell is wrong with some people? Are they so desperate to feel 'better-than' that they would pick on someone in the situation you are in? Apparently so.
Absolute twats.

I hope to God this is the final nail in the coffin of your relationship OP. I am disgusted by his abuse. A horrible man who enjoys treating you like dirt.
I'm SO sorry this has happened to you. I wish I could be there to provide some company and reassurance. What an awful night.

In the almost 20 years we have been together, neither DH or I have lost our keys once. I’m not sure why you’d think it was that common!

Hope you’ve managed to get some sort of rest OP. I’m reading this thread in shock at the sheer meanness you’ve been faced with.
Don't let him talk you into believing that this behaviour is normal, or excusable.. or anything that can be blamed on you.
He has tried to warp your reality and make you feel that he should be able to treat you this way, don’t let him!
How dare he say about your ‘mithering’ when you are locked outside in the freezing cold and you need to get some sleep for work tomorrow. How dare he!! It’s DISGUSTING behaviour.
It makes me feel sick in my stomach that someone who is meant to take care of you has treated you this cruelly. That’s not how you treat someone you love. You don’t treat friends, family or partners like that. I wouldn’t leave a dog outside in this weather. His behaviour is really nasty and very demeaning.
The lack of sleep tonight must be really tough.
And now your work has also been impacted.

Please don’t keep this person in your life. You’re young and you have the world ahead of you. The wrong company is more isolating and lonely than being alone.
Do not let this person have the best years of your life!!!

Ohh a round of applause for you.

I’m so sorry OP. I hope you are warm now and have the courage to leave this awful man. You deserve so much better.

I've lost my keys a few times. So have members of my family.

(crowd boos)

OP I hope this is a turning point for you. What a cruel and nasty man.

Jesus. Read the thread.

Well apparently on this thread, anyone who points out that the OP is enabling his appalling selfish behaviour by continuing to give him numerous house keys so he never gets to know the consequences of his actions, is the devil incarnate

if people on here really want to do the OP a favour they should be helping her with suggestions on how to get this arsehole out of her life. This housekey charade has been going on for years apparently but people are just going "there, there, poor you" instead of pointing out the reality.

the sad thing is the OP has listed numerous unacceptable behaviours but not once shows any resolve in getting this arsewipe from dragging her down in life.

At some stage there's a need for a bit of personal ownership otherwise she'll be back here again and again moaning about him but nothing will change. Seen it a million and one times on MN,

What a tone deaf post. Have you actually read this thread? OP is a victim of abuse.

I had a (sexes reversed) relationship with some similar characteristics to yours in my mid twenties; unfortunately with alcohol abuse and violence, on top of the casual drug use, at the end.

I was shockingly naive (first LTR, first cohabiting relationship etc) and found it really difficult to accept it was unhealthy, but… the profound relief when it was finally all over was like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I didn’t realise how far she had dragged me down in myself.

I’m hoping you follow through on your decision to just pack a bag and leave, OP (when the shit that calls himself your ‘partner’ finally drags his arse back). Nobody deserves so little consideration in a relationship.

I hope you are safe and warm now. It always shocks me how horrible people can be to each other.

I hope you have been able to get hold of your mum and have told her everything. At 30 you have your whole life ahead still to move on from this.

Gosh OP, I hope you got to your Mums and got some sleep. I hope you find the strength to leave this prick and find someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated. You've wasted your 20s on him, don't waste your 30s. You are in the prime of your life, enjoy it.

FFS. Read the OPs updates.

Here you are OP, if you really want to make positive change in your life, read this:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/698029-Right-listen-up-everybody

It doesn't matter what he will or won't do. It doesn't matter right now why you've stayed though we all know. End things today, because eventually he'll leave you and it will really hit home how much time you've wasted on him and you'd wish you'd got out at the first sign of trouble.

HA's have their own domestic abuse support workers, speak to them and tell them what happened, they can help you move on / out .

The difference is that I bet (at least I hope) you don't send abusing messages to people you share a house when they're locked out, whilst you knowingly stay out on the lash with your mates so they have to camp out in a 24 hr McDonalds to keep warm.

This is precisely why I'd not come to mumsnet for advice if the shit hit the fan. Far too many people more concerned with finding fault so they can momentarily feel better about themselves than with helping or providing comfort.
Not what someone in distress needs at all.

If you do finally leave his arse, it will be the best thing he’s ever (albeit unwittingly) done for you.