He’s fucking locked me out.

[FuckingFreezing1]

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

You are so much younger than you think. You've an opportunity to claim your life back, unlike so many women who get trapped. Please seize that opportunity and please keep us updated. I look forward to reading your next chapter. He'll be so shocked you're leaving after years of him wiping his feet on you. When the inevitable tirade starts in an effort to wear you down, say nothing. Just get the hell out of there.

Yeah, he probably thinks well she's taken it for six years, she take it forever.

Oh it defo is. This has got sniff written all over it.

Thought as much with the selfish to the core behaviour.

"Moving On Up Song by M People

You've done me wrong,
Your time is up
You took a sip (just a sip) from the Devil's cup
You broke my heart, there's no way back
Move right outta here baby
Go and pack your bags
Just who do you think you are?
Stop acting like some kind of star
Just who do you think you are?
Take it like a man baby
If that's what you are

CHORUS:
'Cause I'm moving on up
You're moving on out
Movin' on up
Nothing can stop me
Moving on up
You're moving on out
Time to break free
Nothing can stop me,
Yeah

They brag a man has walked in space,
But you can't even find my place
Mm...there ain't nothing (not a thing)
You can do
'Cause I've had enough of me
Baby being part of you

Just who do you think you are?
This time you've gone too far
Just who do you think you are?
Take it like a man baby
If that's what you are

Repeat CHORUS"

This one's more directly relevant to your soon-to-be-liberated, world-is-your-oyster, you-go-girl 29 year old gorgeous self!

Did you try your mum?

You can do better than this.

Have you called your mum yet OP? Hope you can stay with her tonight xx

The good news is, new year fresh start!

Make sure to take any paperwork about bills. So you can cancel your accounts. They can write to him as the new tenant. Don't leave anything valuable or important like passports behind.
Make sure to put all your money into your own account (if it's currently in a joint one) because he might drain it if he finds you leaving him.

I'd go home now and tell all his work friends that the feckless loser locked you out and you're done with him so you're off. And then leave with my suitcase and flip him the bird on my way out.

Put in writing, via text to him 'I've left now and cancelled myself off the phone, electric etc...so heads up, you'll need to get in touch with your details to recontract with them'. That way you have proof you have told him you left on that date and he can't complain you are responsible for money towards the bills after that point. You will still be liable for any contract you couldn't cancel and for rent should he stop paying though.

So sorry you're in this situation,I hope you have the strength to leave ASAP

Actually if you get a police ref you can contact landlords and say you had to leave because of domestic abuse so you need to be taken off the tenancy

I would call the police actually OP and ask for help going home to get your things. He sounds awful

OP won't call the police. Either too worn down or scared of him. She should though.

She won't get a police reference for being locked out of the house whilst he is out though. Locked in, maybe. Or if he comes back and kicks off and she call them. But even then it may just be recorded as a lovers quarrel.

Hopefully she's been in touch with her mum and she can help her.
Those of you staying up hopefully you can all handhold op.

@FuckingFreezing1 I hope you're OK and got hold of your Mum. Can you stay with her til Monday then speak to the housing association? Please take care.

@Pinkbonbon she can say he was out doing cocaine and reneged on a previous promise to be back by 9pm which meant she was locked out in the cold and had to miss work. And that she's leaving him ASAP. All of this is accurate.

Admittedly I'd be feeling a bit vengeful in this scenario!

I would hope they'd understand.

OP I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. Please call your mom and ring the housing association in the morning/Monday to discuss access and next steps. If you pay the bills, he should be the one to leave.

Please take no more of this man’s behaviour towards you. Having no one is better than this.

I'm so sorry you're in the situation but for the love of god - grow a backbone & practically until you can leave - get a spare set and hide them in your garden/or doorway.

Firstly I hope you had enough cash to get a coffee..it's bloody cold tonite.
Youv got to think to yourself ,' can I live the rest of my life like this '.. And you know you can't . You deserve much much better than this . You are worth far more than what this arsehole is giving you.
Keep strong lovely. And keep us posted. Some of us are still online if you need to talk
X

Knew a chef like this. He became hell for the neighbouring flats too. It was the threat of eviction that gave his partner the courage to stop covering for him and get the police to take him away.

He's only holding it together because you're responsible for everything. He ought to be done for drug driving if he uses the car while high.

Oh OP. You don't need to live like this. I hope your mum is in and you can go there.

You said you have money. Call a cab and go to your mums. If she's not there, break something ( window /door jamb/ window frame/ door panel / whatever), until you are inside.It;s not as hard as people think it is. Have a big warm drink then go to bed with heaps of quilts on. Deal with everything else in the morning.Call in sick for the day tomorrow, and get everything sorted. From now on have a key to your mums , I've always had one - they are also handy for any medical emergency your mum may have , years down the line presumably, but you can let the ambos in.
Keep calling your mum!!!

Please lose him and rebuild your self esteem. You can do this.
I wouldn't let him have the flat (unless you really can't stand the place).

I'd just not cut a spare key, and do exactly what he's done to you.

Take the 1 key and go to your mums, block him on all SM and phone and see how he likes it.💐

@FuckingFreezing1 you need to hold on to this as motivation to actually throw him out.
Don't forget this and just go back to 'normal'.
Don't give up the flat if it's in your name. Get rid of him.
As you said you've spent your 20s with him. Don't let this be your next ten years. You'd be happier alone.