He’s fucking locked me out.

[FuckingFreezing1]

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

@Mumtobabyhavoc do the police do that? I definitely think it's a good idea to have the relationship registered as abusive. If I were OP I'd text him afterwards and say "police informed" but that's just me, I'd be hopping mad.

OP can't stay in McD ALL night

This seems the way to go to me, or even break in and get your stuff. He will be left with the bill not you.

i don’t think I have ever been so sad and so angry at a MN post ever. I am brokenhearted for you. If I was your mum I would scoop you up and you could stay with me forever rather than go back to him. Do you feel able to call your mum or do you have a sibling you could call?

I'm so sorry your life has been reduced by this horrendous man.

I would also text saying I've called the police.
To be honest, I WOULD actually call the police. They could probably trace his phone and get your keys back for you

hope you’re doing ok OP, what a horrible man you’re partner is. I hope that you find the strength to to leave him as soon as possible, you deserve so much better than this.

I think this will have to be breaking point. I can’t hack it anymore. I’ll be doing this same shit in my 30’s, 40’s 50’s and then before I know it I’ll be a sad lonely old lady who has nothing to show for her life but the piss poor self worth and disregard from this.

I speak from experience. Sadly, but now just get mad I stayed as long as I did.

I’m 30 next year. This has been my 20’s. Maybe 30 is the new 18 and I can start all over again.

Correct. Let this be the last night you beat yourself up for letting him shit all over you and meekly asking for more.

Aw doll. ..almost predictable update. Your fuckin right.THIS is not your life.NOT your story. . The next page ,from right now IS.your hands bin forced. You gotta drop all big picture,any sorta him n his next move.if option call in cancel work just now. . What CAN you do.? I'd no check no chance emergency repairs n tell em cunts lokt you out n indicated he's out/fuck u.no immediate fund lock available.(Is it Yale? Or proper) Worst result sorry can't help (be logged on ha system tho. ) call @111 .. they can mark as da and respond with have to do something, shit as it is. This crap is just a moment.it will pass. YOU prioritise you. .n FFS,do NOT engage wi king cunt any further.screenshot save,share msg wi polis. His reign of being the big man is over.

I spent my twenties with an abusive shit of a man. It's getting to the point now that I can hardly remember some of it, and I'm so glad I got out.
You've got a job, too, so you're doing better than I was back then - being financially independent will be such a help.

You are worth so much more than this.

What a cruel man.

I'm so sorry he's doing this to you OP.

If he's drinking and driving, I'd call the police for that and that I'd been locked out.
What's the betting he doesn't surface tonight and says he fell asleep.
I'd ask the McDonalds manager if the police ever call in there. If they call in for a bite, have a word with them.

I’m gonna be brave and ring my mum. She’ll be so fucking annoyed and that’s before I’ve relayed 6 years of it. Losing my dad’s ashes ring, the birthdays I’ve spent alone whilst he’s out with his brother, the Christmas days I’ve spent watching him open his presents only to find nothing for me. And I just put up with it.

30 is young.
You can have so much .
No harm giving the police a try, he's taken your keys and excluded you from your home. Maybe they can help. He's probably abusive in other ways.
Do not pay any of his bills ever again. What an absolute cunt. You deserve so so much better.

Get back in the apartment, grab your stuff, shit under his pillow, and leave with your head held high.

I wouldn't be surprised if cocaine is in the mix.

Hope it goes well with your mum.

Please do ring your mum. He's left you for over 5 hours. Awful, awful man.

OP is too nice. Police would love that. Chillin indeed. Chill tonight mate cos tomorrow you get frozen out.

"Still I Rise Poem by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise."

A little out of context but I hope still an inspiration.

30 is an amazing age to start fresh, it's a brilliant decade for so many people and it's going to be for you too.
It sounds like it will be a tough chat with your mum but so worth it, especially as she clearly knows what a cunt he is. You've toughed out tonight so you've clearly got gumption - channel all of that now into that break and a brilliant new future.

You are brave. You have had a wake up call & this is a turning point. We are all cheerleaders from the sidelines (& many of us lived it & passed through it to the other side)
You are ready for a different story.
Don't hide his fuckwittery. Share the tales with your mum of how he degraded you & kept you hypervigilant. Reverse the shame. It's not yours to keep.
Thank god for McDonald's too. Be safe

YES! Do it immediately.right now. Please

If OP told MD's manager she had been locked out intentionally, I think they would call the police. It's a safeguarding matter.

Oh, OP, I wish I could give you a cuddle and tuck you up in a warm bed with some hot chocolate. I cannot believe that it's past 2 am and he's left you locked out. And consider this - HE wasn't to know that there was a 24-hour McDonald's where you would be warm. For all he knew, you would be freezing outside. I bet he's loving this and getting off on the power of having you locked out.

Can you imagine if you were on a night out with some mates, and it turned out that one of them had locked his partner out and was carrying on enjoying the night out, aware that his partner was out on the streets in winter because of him? You'd be like "Oh my god, my mate is an abuser."

No one deserves this, OP. No one. Ring your mum, go to hers, and never, ever go back into that flat, except to get your stuff. And take people with you when you get it.