He’s fucking locked me out.

[FuckingFreezing1]

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

I take it it's a joint tenancy. Have to figure a way when this night's over, how to get him out.

I’m not battling him for the flat he can have it. I’ll talk to my mum. I just want my keys so I can get my stuff. This is so fucking sad but I want my keyrings, they’re from places I’ve visited. During happier times, before I knew him.

Aren’t there just?!

OP is describing a selfish bastard who won’t help his partner out, leaving her in a vulnerable position and all anyone can say is ‘should have got a key cut’

Not in a million years would my husband treat me like this but if he did, I’d be off as he’d be showing me that he just doesn’t give a shit about me.

So many people need to raise their bar when it comes to expectations of how the people who are meant to love us the most, treat us.

It's security if you take it over. Think if you didn't have his bills to pay as well you could learn to drive, get a little runabout.
Try and get it for yourself. Doesn't sound like he'd want the responsibility of paying it all himself.

I just don’t want it. I want a new start.

It's OK, you'll get your stuff back. Don't give him any indication that you are leaving him right at this moment. See how he likes paying all the rent and the bills.

You're warm which is great (is it 24 hour?) just a damn shame you can't get in to get some rest and prepare for work. A pox on the little rat.

Cannot believe what I'm reading especially those messages, what an absolute cunt 🤬 you deserve so much better, I hope you can leave him asap and have a better life!

That's fair. Maybe a clean break is what you need. Somewhere that doesn't have any memories attached to it.

You sound like this is the last straw. I hope so. Strangers on the internet care more about your wellbeing than him; leaving you in the cold, vulnerable and with a dying battery on your phone. You must be absolutely shattered.

Fair enough. Bad night to be making decisions, well other than dumping him.
"It's not fair." He sounds like an eight year old.

I'm gutted for you. He's a twunt.
On a practical front, Why don't you practice here what you want to text him? People here have often great ways to put things that help & reduces him evading the question.
I think you're at the point that you need to make it crystal clear about the situation, if not to even remind you when later you feel weak, as seems like you're already done with him.
I'd be tempted to send (but appreciate you might be fearful of repercussions)
'You said you'd be home by 9 so that's the only reason you were trusted with my keys, the only keys to the flat. You've stayed out purposely, despite me telling you repeatedly you've locked me out in the cold for 4 hours. Your actions are cruel. You could've dropped the keys with me hours ago. Instead you have ignored me & I can't be in my home, sleep or go to work'
I'd like to end it with fuck you, but I might just do that in my head.

And you can have it OP and you will feel so much happier.

Leaving him will be the biggest kindness you can do for yourself… and the best Christmas present!! He treats you with utter contempt… and you deserve so much more. Don’t give him another 6 years of your life.

You mentioned your mum.. can you stay with her whilst you get back on your feet?

You also mention a lack of friends… can I ask why you feel that you don’t have any? Is this something you’d like to change?

He’s at a house “chilling” with his no mark friends. I’m still in McDonald’s. This isn’t my life this isn’t my life what the fuck is if

I wouldn't even go to the effort of explaining what he did and how it hurt. He doesn't care.

Just leave..he doesn't deserve your effort of an explanation.

Perhaps talk things through with your mum and take stock of your situation.hopefully the HA can rehouse you if you give up the flat.perhaps someone with HA work experience could advise the best way to do this.
Wishing you all the best op.

Omg the nerve of the man. What a fucking self obsessed idiot. Has he given any indication of when he will stop 'chilling'?

If your mum is back please go there because he might even stay the night.

I hope you can get into your house soon, op.
It seems like he's deliberately staying out later and later as some kind of power play. He seems so nasty.
Hopefully this can be a turning point for you. You don't deserve this and it is so much nicer to be on your own than with someone so horrible.

Do you know where?
You are entitled to ring the police and tell them your partner won't let you back in your property.
If you don't want to actually do that, tell him you are about to. This is abuse now.

No he never does. It’ll be all night now. I’m gonna have to text in sick. I cannot believe this is my fucking Friday. He’s always done this. If ive text him too much (once or twice) on nights out this is what he does. It is a punishment, it’s all power punishment blame.
I feel degraded

Chilling with his friends? What an absolute shit. He could fall asleep and who knows when he will turn up. No-one has the right to make anyone feel this crap.

I am furious for you. This is outrageous. Please enjoy telling him there'll be no more 'mithering' from you, he can relax away without you. Tosser.

I don’t even want an argument. I just want my keyrings and my stuff.
He’s not getting an argument out of me, I just want to go home, pack my case and leave. That’s all I want.

It's not, so fucking sad. You're completely discombobulated from constant abuse. Who cares about a keyring? Call the police. Explain you're in an a abusive relationship and you need help to get into your place to get your essentials so you can leave. Pack a bag or two and don't look back. Go to a shelter if you have to. Stop enabling. He's given you time to get out and you're wasting it going in circles online.

Please don't just leave the flat. If you are both on the tenancy and he doesn't pay the rent, they'll come after you for it.
Sort it in the days to come now you know you're done with him.
Hate to think of you stuck there instead of being in bed.

What an absolute piece of trash. He's got no respect or concern for you, it is all about him. The only good thing that has come from this is that he's showing you unequivocally who he is. You have to leave, this isn't a healthy relationship but you know that. I wish you all the strength to leave him and get yourself safe. I don't think there's anything gained by arguing about what he's doing to you. If he can't see it now with you literally out in the cold on the street, he's not going to see it later. Even if he was super apologetic and said it's never going to happen again, I'd struggle to believe him!