Criticism about being healthy and diaciplined

[Boatswatchingboats]

Hi everyone, does anyone else feel really, really triggered when critisised for living a disciplined and healthy lifestyle? I hate the snarky comments people make like, “well, we’re going to die one day anyway so what’s the point of working out?” Or “That’s so boring eating healthy, you need to eat more than that…”

I’m a healthy woman, don’t have a disordered eating pattern, I just value myself enough to be healthy.

it drives me crazy and feels really demoralizing. Has anyone else dealt with this in their lives and if so, please could you offer some advice?

What they’re actually communicating is an issue they have with themselves; ignore them all.

I've come across arseholes with shitty opinions on my lifestyle. I don't largely care, but the comments I got from health professionals as a size 8 pregnant woman were appalling. Mostly, I don't care because I enjoy living this way and would feel disgusting and horrible day in day out if I lived lazily or eating crap all day long.

Some people are just jealous or have to put others down to make themselves feel better about their rubbish lifestyle choices because your very existence invalidates them for some reason.

I get it all the time but it’s definitely not triggering. Do you not just feel a little sorry for them? If you value yourself why would incorrect comments get to you? I can guarantee you don’t want to look or feel like any of the people that comment so why does it matter. 🤣

For some reason people get totally up in arms these days about fasting, saving calories, skipping a meal, saying no to treats… if it doesn’t interest them or work for them, fine, but it works for others and there’s no harm in it.

You make them feel bad about themselves. What you need to consider is are you complicit in this? Do you brag/one man up? Do you judge/make others feel worse?

If you can say no then ignore it and continue living your best life.

I workout every day doing a combination of running, spin or weights. I get a lot of comments from mainly extended family about how I’m obsessive about exercise and look scrawny/gaunt etc. I really don’t look gaunt as I’m barely 5 foot 2 and within the normal BMI range.

Let them eat cake!

You are happy & healthy.

Really, really triggered?

Are you not happy with your lifestyle choice?

Thanks so much for the support everyone. I largely stay silent and keep myself to myself about my lifestyle choices. It always seems to be boyfriends or the family of boyfriends and occasionally just not very friendly women on fishing expeditions. I feel like I then have a need to appear non-threatening to them which leaves me feeling like I need to abandon myself. It’s just such a strange reaction to, what I logically know, has nothing to do with me.

See, messages like this do nothing but give me food for thought and I thank you for that. That’s such a good point. Am I actually not happy with my own choices? I’ll need to examine that.

Well do you bang on about it? Do you justify every food choice out loud? Proclaim your ‘healthy’ lifestyle to be better than others? If so it’s probably a bit tedious at best, concerning for others at worst.

I don't drink alcohol, and no amount of negative comments will make me feel bad about that, but I'm also a lazy couch potato, so could actually be upset about that!

I don’t think anyone ever says anything negative to me! I eat healthily, exercise daily, sometimes twice a day, have a normal range BMI, don’t really drink. I do eat the odd biscuit in the office, but not daily, so perhaps that’s the bit people see. Never had anyone criticise.

What are they saying OP?

Just ignore, a lot of people have food issues simply because they are told what they eat is unhealthy. Then they feel guilty and naughty but simply can't take it if others make different choices.
Especially if it involves food that these people consider either healthy or unpalatable.

I call them the beige binge brigade!

I think a lot of people assuage their own lack of discipline by wanting you to join in. "Just a little slice of cake , or one more glass of wine'. Just keep politely declining and live your life the way you like it.

Totally agree

I eat healthily, sleep lots, don't drink much and eat well

It's perceived as boring for an under 40

But now, post 40 it's seen as the right and sensible thing to do? Now they've also seen the light?

Wtf

No, not at all. I just keep myself to myself unless asked about what I’m eating. I’ll usually have a hearty salad packed with fats, carbs and protein and this once led someone to condescendingly keep saying, “Are you having just leaves again for lunch? That’s rabbit food…”

The more I type out responses, the more I realise that perhaps it’s something I’m doing. I would really appreciate some Mumsnet ‘mirrors.’ Am I coming across as full of it? I sound like such a victim facepalm

Why have you assumed that? My husband and family didn’t know that I’d started eating plant based food for 5 months but the day they noticed I was encouraged not to because apparently I was going to become boring and unhealthy. When I pointed out that it hadn’t been an issue so far he’s not mentioned it again.

I’ve known some of my friends for years and they have no idea but as soon as they realise that I exercise daily and eat healthily I get a lot of comments from specific people about my dietary and exercise choices.

I exercise daily because it makes me happy, I eat food I like but am told i should eat a pie or burger, if not I must be miserable. Apparently eating tasty, healthy, plant based food means I’m boring / depressed / unhealthy / unhappy.

It’s usually people who have lots of aches and pains and complain about their health and weight who say these things. Sometimes it’s hard not to bite back.

do you bang on about it? Do you justify every food choice out loud? Proclaim your ‘healthy’ lifestyle to be better than others? If so it’s probably a bit tedious

Often people don't even realise they are doing it but they are conveying an air of judgement together with a slight smug condescension.

Also ive never yet seen a moderate weight person judged for living on "hearty salads" it tends to be people are right at the low end of a healthy weight range. That can lead to a perception that the person's focus on being "healthy" is actually masking a less healthy preoccupation with the more cosmetic side of things

If its genuinely "packed with fats, carbs & protein" is it still a salad? If it looked like "just leaves" to someone else its unlike it was "packed with fats, carbs and protein".

Or are you classing carrot as a carb? Clearly you don't mean what most people consider a "carb" eg a starchy food like bread/rice/pasta.

Do you mean you have adopted a new vegan diet and your husband didn’t twig during 5 months of you having made the switch?

Yes. Salad doesn’t mean low cal. It means packed with vitamins and minerals from high quality veg.

You see I laughingly eat my ‘budgie pot’ of nuts, seeds, dried fruit. Couldn’t care less if someone asked if I was asked about rabbit food. I’d most probably say absolutely, and say ‘I’m after my ears getting bigger. but it’s failing for now’ and pull a sad face.

seems you’re bothered. Own it, live long and strong!

Other things that can come across as a bit obsessive:

• going on a trip or excursion that includes some sort of food but bringing your own very low calorie type offering to eat instead, unless you are coeliac/allergic
• turning down all hospitality rather than breach your usual dietary "rules" eg - being the person who never buys anything at the charity bakesale
• very obviously refusing or regifting any treats that come your way eg a birthday bottle of fizz or christmas panettone

Your boyfriends? And their families? That suggests to me that you're picking bad partners, ones who like to be critical of women. Maybe the issue is the people you're surrounding yourself with?

What people don't realize is that once you get in to the habit of eating healthily, you really enjoy it.