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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take ill toddler to school

145 replies

signforcar · 13/12/2024 03:58

18 month old DD has been sick. Normally she goes to nursery on a Friday but tomorrow I have the morning off because it is DS’s nativity.

I really don’t feel I can miss his nativity; he’d be devastated. WIBU to take DD? No one else here.

OP posts:
PastaAndProse · 13/12/2024 04:00

YABU.

Disappointing though it is, the reason she isn't able to be in nursery is because she's been sick, and sickness bugs can be incredibly contagious. You really can't take her to an environment that's going to be crammed with other parents and kids.

Toddlerteaplease · 13/12/2024 04:00

You really can't take a vomiting toddler to school. If she can't go to nursery, then going into a school is not happening either.

Avoidingsleep · 13/12/2024 04:02

How sick?

Sniffly and tired or raging, uncontrollable temp/ vomiting and inconsolable?

if the first and they are likely to sleep in a pram through it, can be kept warm and are unlikely to be worse off for it why not. But if any of the second it wouldn’t be fair on anyone.

Avoidingsleep · 13/12/2024 04:05

Avoidingsleep · 13/12/2024 04:02

How sick?

Sniffly and tired or raging, uncontrollable temp/ vomiting and inconsolable?

if the first and they are likely to sleep in a pram through it, can be kept warm and are unlikely to be worse off for it why not. But if any of the second it wouldn’t be fair on anyone.

Just to clarify I assumed you were using sick as in ill rather than vomiting. If vomiting definitely not, you would be risking exposing 30 plus families to a vomiting bug before and over Christmas.

tolerable · 13/12/2024 04:15

yes..follow the star n smite the nation.its whAA~T jesus would do

catcurl · 13/12/2024 04:18

Sorry you are in this position OP, but anything more than a mild runny nose/cough, you're going to expose multiple families to getting the same bug. And additionally, over Christmas!

Not sure what the rules are at your school but can you ask someone to take photos of your son?

marcopront · 13/12/2024 04:18

I assume she didn't wake up sick this morning, so you could have planned something yesterday.

Don't take her.

Original poster
signforcar · 13/12/2024 04:24

marcopront · 13/12/2024 04:18

I assume she didn't wake up sick this morning, so you could have planned something yesterday.

Don't take her.

How do you mean. ? She was fine yesterday; she woke at 3 crying and then was sick. I don’t know what I should plan at 3 am!

OP posts:
PeloMom · 13/12/2024 04:27

You plan to keep her home.

Lyannaa · 13/12/2024 04:28

My daughter had norovirus earlier this year and she was only sick once but I caught it from her and I was really, really ill. I felt like I was dying tbh. At the moment cases of noro are putting a lot of pressure on hospitals.

I think you know that you'd be unreasonable to send her in.

Original poster
signforcar · 13/12/2024 04:29

PeloMom · 13/12/2024 04:27

You plan to keep her home.

Yes but that’s not what that poster meant, I don’t think!

OP posts:
mrspresents · 13/12/2024 04:31

You stay at home. It's not fair on other families to get this bug over Christmas and you know that.

catcurl · 13/12/2024 04:35

I see your daughter vomited, I'm sorry but it's a no from me. Also it's not really fair to her either to take her out unavoidably, feeling miserable and with every likelihood she vomits there too.

I would feel bad for your son too, but I think it's about explaining to him that plans change unavoidably sometimes and trying to do something special of you can at home to think of the school nativity he's done

BurgundyBear · 13/12/2024 04:39

If sick = vomited (which I think it does) then you have to keep her at home. There’s loads of bugs going round at the moment. Really unfair to take her in and potentially pass it on to others.

FairCrow · 13/12/2024 05:00

Please don't. I have an autoimmune disease and already have to be really careful and wear a mask. Still got some bug last year and ended up in hospital.

ilovelamp82 · 13/12/2024 05:09

You must keep her home. You can't risk spreading it. And also, that sounds like it would be rubbish for her who should be tucked up at home getting better. I would be gutted too but you have no other option.

Overthebow · 13/12/2024 05:22

No, you really can’t take her. There will be a hall full of children and families including grandparents, it’s close to Christmas. It’s disappointing but these things happen.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 13/12/2024 05:45

If she's vomited in the last 24 hours you can't take her. I'm usually quite relaxed about these things but you cant go to the packed hall of a primary school nativity with a vomiting toddler. Can another family member take your place at the school?

GrumpyCactus · 13/12/2024 05:49

She vomited at 3am and you want to take her to a nativity this morning. Honestly I get it's frustrating when things don't pan out the way you intended but you must know you ABU to even consider taking her.

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 13/12/2024 05:51

Please don't.

You not wanting to disappoint your child could result in dozens of families coming down with a sickness bug right over Xmas.

Message another school parent and ask them to give your ds a wave and then buy ds a treat for tea while he tells you all about it.

sashh · 13/12/2024 05:53

I'm going to go against the grain. See how she is later this morning.

Contact the school and explain. Ask if you can go in just before the start and stand at the back.

Leave as it finishes.

Obviously if the school say 'no' you can't go.

HornyHornersPinger · 13/12/2024 05:54

PastaAndProse · 13/12/2024 04:00

YABU.

Disappointing though it is, the reason she isn't able to be in nursery is because she's been sick, and sickness bugs can be incredibly contagious. You really can't take her to an environment that's going to be crammed with other parents and kids.

Don't forget the potentially elderly grandparents, we only tend to see them at our school around Xmas...

Eenameenadeeka · 13/12/2024 05:58

So so unreasonable and incredibly selfish to expose other people when you don't need to

GrumpyCactus · 13/12/2024 06:05

sashh · 13/12/2024 05:53

I'm going to go against the grain. See how she is later this morning.

Contact the school and explain. Ask if you can go in just before the start and stand at the back.

Leave as it finishes.

Obviously if the school say 'no' you can't go.

Of course the school are going to say no so there's no point asking. No school is going to say yes of course you can bring a child in who vomited this morning to infect staff, students and other families whilst you watch the play in our very crowded hall two weeks before Christmas. Hmm

ItsVeryComplicated · 13/12/2024 06:08

You really must keep her home. The hospitals are under massive pressure from epidemic levels of norovirus, flu, covid and RSV at the moment. If you take her to the nativity play you will turn it into a superspreader event and that would be massively unhelpful. Many of those people will have vulnerable relatives or may be vulnerable themselves.

You would be massivelly unreasonable to take her.

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