Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take ill toddler to school

145 replies

signforcar · 13/12/2024 03:58

18 month old DD has been sick. Normally she goes to nursery on a Friday but tomorrow I have the morning off because it is DS’s nativity.

I really don’t feel I can miss his nativity; he’d be devastated. WIBU to take DD? No one else here.

OP posts:
DarkAndTwisties · 13/12/2024 07:30

LookingForAHandHold · 13/12/2024 07:15

@Netflixconundrum risk what? It'll be obvious by this morning if it's a bug or just a one off.

Why do you think a one off can't be a bug? We be had a bug go through our house where both my DDs, and DH, have all just thrown up once. And this was over a few days, one night DD1, next night DD2, two days later DH, so it wasn't anything they ate.

Fridaysgirl17 · 13/12/2024 07:30

It's unfortunate & horrible to miss your child's show, I had to do it this year as I am sick, there is a horrible bug going & I am full of cold & a really bad cough,my son actually told me to stay home as my cough was so bad (he's 7) I had a friend who's son is in his class & she brought him for me last night & he knew she was there for him too, he was happy but a lil sad but I couldn't in good conscience go into a hall full of people with this as it's horrible & I've been down a week with it, passing anything on now would be a horrid thing to do in my opinion. I had to think of not just us but everyone else

Zita60 · 13/12/2024 07:30

LookingForAHandHold · 13/12/2024 07:19

At the end of the day, OP has a choice. She can stay home with her not poorly toddler and let her son know he's not that important to her, or she can go. I know what I'd do

That’s monstrously unfair. Her son is clearly very important to her, otherwise she wouldn’t be agonising over whether she will have to miss his nativity play. And you don’t know whether the toddler is “not poorly”. As others have said, some people are sick only once when they have a virus, but they can still pass it on to others.

It’s an awful situation for the OP. Could she get someone from an agency to watch the child while she goes to the nativity?

Moreshroomsplease · 13/12/2024 07:31

Just picturing it now. Toddler vomits in the middle of the performance, spoiling the show the kids and teachers have worked so hard to prepare, and infecting every parent and child within a five metre radius, in the last run up to Christmas. Surely you can comprehend the utter selfishness of this when you KNOW your child has a gastric bug.

Please do the right thing.

Sassybooklover · 13/12/2024 07:34

If your daughter has actually been physically sick, and you are keeping her off nursery, then no, you don't take her into school either. Everyone at these type of events, are in close proximity. Bugs like this spread like wildfire in a school/nursery setting.

Zita60 · 13/12/2024 07:36

Fridaysgirl17 · 13/12/2024 07:30

It's unfortunate & horrible to miss your child's show, I had to do it this year as I am sick, there is a horrible bug going & I am full of cold & a really bad cough,my son actually told me to stay home as my cough was so bad (he's 7) I had a friend who's son is in his class & she brought him for me last night & he knew she was there for him too, he was happy but a lil sad but I couldn't in good conscience go into a hall full of people with this as it's horrible & I've been down a week with it, passing anything on now would be a horrid thing to do in my opinion. I had to think of not just us but everyone else

I think it reflects well on both you, for not wanting to infect others, and your son, for recognising that it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to go, in spite of his disappointment. And at least your friend was there for him.

Strictlymad · 13/12/2024 07:36

Please don’t be that parent, I’m the parent with the vulnerable son for whom a bug means hospital. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve upped and left somewhere because someone has bought a sick child, he and my dd miss our even when well (on top of all the times we miss our cuz he is sick) because others don’t keep sick children at home

Porkyporkchop · 13/12/2024 07:37

Can you get someone to video the performance for you? Or someone to sit with or take baby for half hour walk round so you can watch the nativity ?

ginnybag · 13/12/2024 07:37

No, you can't.

Leaving aside the contagious side, you'd be taking the very real chance of her throwing up again at the performance. Depending on hall layout, how the kids performing react etc that might just mean the rest of the show being cancelled. For sure, it'll disrupt it for everyone.

That's a sure way to make it memorable for everybody but not the way you'd want - especially once DS tells people she's been sick already. (He will - they always do.)

He'll be disappointed by you not going, but a child that vomited 4 hours ago has no business being out of the house today.

Justwant2sit · 13/12/2024 07:41

School plays can be filmed - get on the chat - someone in that class has two parents attending and you get one of those people / parent to film your kid on your behalf and you explain that tonight you will have a special showing of the play at home with popcorn and that jacks dad ( whoever) will be specially filming it for you and how exciting is that .. done it myself for many a working parent .

MyDeftDuck · 13/12/2024 07:44

Look at this from a different aspect............if I were the school cook and I had puked in the early hours none of you would be very pleased if I shrugged it off and went to work in the school kitchen regardless would you? Doing that would be irresponsible and damn right stupid!

You should NOT take the toddler to the school - you potentially risk spreading a nasty illness to families, some with vulnerable relatives and all for the sake of watching a nativity play!

Get you little boy to act out his part in the play at home, give him masses of praise and treat him to something special - there will be other school plays.

Lemonademoney · 13/12/2024 07:45

Don’t do it - it’s not worth the risk of your younger child being poorly and infecting everyone around you (which no one is going to thank you for the week before Christmas). Also depending on how old your son is, there is a very decent chance he will announce that his sibling has been sick to everyone at school as soon as he arrived anyway so no one will be impressed if you then turn up with said sibling to see the show (we also have a very very tough head who would think nothing of approaching you on arrival at the show to ask if your child has in fact been sick - she’s scary!)

TheFairyCaravan · 13/12/2024 07:48

This. article says that you can vomit once and it be a Norovirus type bug @LookingForAHandHold . If your child vomits, you keep them home. You don’t take them to a packed school hall, or to nursery, out in the community, or to school. I don’t know why that’s so difficult to understand.

TheFormidableMrsC · 13/12/2024 07:50

I'd keep them both off. Not a chance I'd risk spreading that round school and other parents at this time of the year (or indeed any time of the year). Yes it's very disappointing, I've had to miss things because of sickness before, but it's incredibly cruel and selfish to do anything else.

Beeloux · 13/12/2024 07:54

Of course YABU!
Have some consideration, no one wants to have a household of sickness bugs just before Christmas.
Ds caught a sickness bug from playgroup last Christmas, CF mother causally dropped it in conversation how her kid had been up all night vomiting. I caught it off him whilst heavily pregnant.
Don't be so selfish.

MILLYmo0se · 13/12/2024 07:54

Netflixconundrum · 13/12/2024 07:06

’…a mum who was in this position standing outside with her child in the pushchair under the rain cover.’
Perhaps not repeatedly (but also likely they could have been) but she said the child was also in this position so clearly their child had also been sick. A sick child does not need to be dragged out in the cold and rain for an hour or so to watch a nativity.

Show quote history

Lots of child are perfectly fine in themselves after puking once, my DD would be fine ten minutes after getting Calpol with a high temp. Obviously in neither situation should they be in a crowded school hall the morning after but if watching through a window means not disappointing an older sibling and the sick child is fine in themselves either watching the play themselves with you or a tablet wrapped up cosy in the buggy what's the problem. Now an actively puking or downright miserable and grizzly sick child is a different matter

Netflixconundrum · 13/12/2024 07:59

MILLYmo0se · 13/12/2024 07:54

Lots of child are perfectly fine in themselves after puking once, my DD would be fine ten minutes after getting Calpol with a high temp. Obviously in neither situation should they be in a crowded school hall the morning after but if watching through a window means not disappointing an older sibling and the sick child is fine in themselves either watching the play themselves with you or a tablet wrapped up cosy in the buggy what's the problem. Now an actively puking or downright miserable and grizzly sick child is a different matter

Show quote history

Well it’s a bit of a pointless discussion really as we have no idea how ill this other child was. They could still have been contagious though.

GrazeConcern · 13/12/2024 08:00

Is it just the one performance? Are you friends with anyone who could sit with her for an hour so you could go? Or push her round nearby in the pushchair? I’d be on to do this for a school mum if they were desperate.

lucywho123 · 13/12/2024 08:08

Feel like if you've asked this question you'll do it anyway which is honestly a diabolical decision. Dont make other children sick just because you dont want to miss a nativity play. Use grandparents/partner etc - if you need to but dont send a vomiting child to pass this on

marcopront · 13/12/2024 08:10

@signforcar

How do you mean. ? She was fine yesterday; she woke at 3 crying and then was sick. I don’t know what I should plan at 3 am!

Sorry I assumed you meant she has been sick with a cold for a few days.
I assumed everyone knew you can't take a child who has vomited to an event with lots of potentially vulnerable people just before Christmas.

MILLYmo0se · 13/12/2024 08:10

Netflixconundrum · 13/12/2024 07:59

Well it’s a bit of a pointless discussion really as we have no idea how ill this other child was. They could still have been contagious though.

Edited
Show quote history

Contagious through a window?!

flumposie · 13/12/2024 08:11

No. Extremely selfish

PrincessScarlett · 13/12/2024 08:12

Is there noone else that can watch your younger child for an hour? Family member/friend/neighbour? Take them for a walk in the buggy and meet you back at the school after the nativity?

Sorry OP but it would be utterly selfish to expose the teachers, children and all their families to a sickness bug just in time for Christmas. I totally understand your predicament and feel for you but you cannot take a sick child into school.

pumpkinpillow · 13/12/2024 08:13

WIBU to take DD

Of course. Please don't take your vomiting child out of the home.
Why are you asking? Are you actually thinking of taking her to a busy school?

OneInEight · 13/12/2024 08:20

One silly parent did this at the ds2's nativity several years ago whose child then proceeded to throw up during the play. I was fuming when it turned out said child had been sick on more than one occasion in the preceding night. Just really selfish.

I was very sad when ds1 got a bug the year he was due to be Joseph in the Christmas play but shit happens and it is not the end of the world if you or your child miss the event as there will be many different opportunities later on to enjoy with your child. It was actually a very stressful period for us the year ds1 missed the play and it still makes me laugh that I coped with dh being made redundant and the house sale falling through but the thing that had me in tears was missing the Christmas play. I might add that ds1 cared not one jot at the time or after.