What would you do on Christmas Day?

[cattuccino]

Scenario A - spend Christmas Day at home with husband, who doesn't 'do' Christmas apart from a roast dinner. He will spend most of the day in his computer room playing on the Xbox, watching films etc, with no desire to celebrate the day or do anything special. You usually stay at home as you feel bad leaving him alone on Christmas Day, so you will be watching Christmas tv and maybe going for a walk (alone). You would then visit family on Boxing Day.

Scenario B - spend Christmas Day with your parents and siblings, plus some wider family. Have a big meal together with them and maybe play board games, have fun chatting etc.
However husband would not come with you for this (so it may appear strange to others) and you would have a 100 mile round trip (driving) to get there.

What would you do?

Why do you feel bad about leaving him on his own when he blatantly couldn't give a shiny shit about your needs?

B and stay over in parents house.

If you feel embarrassed to tell them why your partner hasn’t came, then that speaks volumes.

B but I would stay over to have drinks.

DH sounds miserable and selfish.

B. No doubt at all.

100% B

Fine if he doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas and spend the day gaming. However I do want to celebrate Christmas and be surrounded by likeminded people.

B - I have family where this is the norm. Don’t excuse it, state it as it is (he isn’t social and prefers his own company) and move on from what anyone else thinks. Whilst I think it’s sad that people don’t feel they have a connection with other people in a way that makes them want to share special times with them, it’s also a choice they have the right to make without judgement.

B

B.

I couldn't even have married someone whose preferred option was A.

B

Your DH doesn’t do Xmas and so it’s just another day to him.

It wouldn’t even be a decision for me.

Do you go and see family without him during the rest of the year?

B and consider divorce. That's not a marriage, that's a teenage house mate.

B and invite him and if he says he doesn't want to then you can go guilt free.

B, and I would stay the night too so I could have a few drinks

DH would actually want me to do this too if he didn't celebrate Christmas

Why are you married to this man?

B and I'd stay over if I could.

Did you accidentally marry a 16 year old?

B and stay over too

It doesn’t sound as if you ever get to have the Christmas you would like, so if B represents an opportunity to do so, take it and definitely stay over at least one night if not two (in a hotel if you can’t stay at your family’s house). He doesn’t see it as a day to be celebrated so why would you feel bad at leaving him to do what he likes doing?

(I have to say, it’s a bit rich to to think you should feel bad for leaving him on his own, when he leaves you all on your own to spend the day gaming. Is that guilt coming from you, or from him? 👀)

B. Why doesn’t he care about what you want?

I would go with whatever option appealed to me more if I was you.

Option B

You can't control what other people (your husband) do. But good news is, you can control what you do! B all the way! I'd just be honest about why 🤷‍♀️ I'm sure your family would want you there, and wouldn't expect you to sugar-coat anything or make excuses.

2nd option. Maybe husband is autistic or an introvert?

Definitely B, I would ask other half if he wanted to come with me, if he said no. I am certain he knows where the kitchen is and he can prepare whatever he wants to eat.

B. He doesn't do Christmas so why would he care?

THIS

And I'd stay over.