I always feel like a coward for not challenging SIL

[Hour]

SIL is about 10 years older than me. She is extremely extroverted and forthright with her opinions. Very opinionated. I annoy myself by being so much on the fence. I don’t think my world view is the ONLY right view the way SIL does. She is very opinionated on things I don’t even think about or care to have an opinion. Sometimes I feel almost like a coward for not challenging SIL. To me a) I don’t really care b)it’s not worth having this gobby person turn their attention towards me.

For example, the other day SIL was telling her teen daughter that so many teen mum’s claim that they have kids young, so they will be young enough to travel and see the world when they are mid 30s. SIL said it’s rubbish cause all teen mums age in dog years (exact words) due to the stress of being a young mum and often on their own. SIL said kids suck all your beauty out of you (as a new-ish mum I do agree with that bit). Even if you are a teen. She was basically telling niece not to waste her youth. Enjoy a bikini body with saggy boobs and stretch marks. That was her main point. This is not the only time where she gets to run her mouth. I felt so awkward because my neighbour opposite is doing her absolute best whilst living with her parents and new baby. I would feel awful if she ever heard such views.

I feel bad that I never speak up against this gobshite. Does anyone else have a big mouth in their family who they literally cannot be bothered to challenge? She just loves the sound of her voice and is thoroughly impressed with her own intelligence. SIL and brother are quite odd in that their whole family does just end up sitting in their kitchen doing nothing but talking about hypotheticals. I guess it’s good because they are a chatty family but it does mean so much shit is spoken

Setting up a teenager to fear the inevitable side effects of aging and (potentially) bearing children is certainly a method that could have negative consequences for her own self image.

That sounds familiar

Going up against an extrovert who likes to broadcast their views for all to hear will only end badly. Especially this kind of person who argues in the manner of someone defying anyone to disagree, and is spoiling for a row. SIL sounds like the kind of person who's something of a roughneck in the field of confrontation and enjoys confrontation.

Arguing against someone who holds strong views only serves to make them more defensive and aggressive and you can see where that will get you.

You two are clearly chalk and cheese. She gets your back up. She would mine too. The skill you want to work on is that of letting go. Leave it. She isn't 'annoying' you as such - you're allowing her to annoy you. You're obviously a sensitive and articulate person and if there were more people like you in the world it'll be a better place.