To not really care if I wake up tomorrow

[Fartooold]

Don't fret, I'm not suicidal, I just don't care if i wake up tomorrow, or not.
I have a reasonable Life, some might say a full life, but I'm constantly searching for something to be enthused about.
My day to day life is grinding me down, caring for elderly parents, but it's more than that.
I have friends, a full social life, so much I can't fit it all in.

I'm just done.

I keep plodding on, but wondering why.
I'm 63. Not ancient, still extremely fit, a cancer survivor.
But I'm done. I've had a fab life, but I'm treading water now.

Yes, I can afford to travel. Done that.
Yes, I can volunteer. I do that.

But, without an iota of self pity, my life is done.

I had a great marriage, an incredible career, wonderful children, I now have the most incredible grand daughter, and so my job is done.
I don't know why I'm posting this really, just musing on the various stages of life, and coming to the conclusion that we are all living too long😅

I'm not unhappy, just content that I'm done. I know there will be a pile on of amazingly spritely 90,year old living incredible lives, but does anyone feel like me?

I'm 39 and often think alike.
I need a lot of stimulus and adventures to feel "alive". So many things by now I've tried and I'm done, most have lost the shine of their newness, many don't seem as exciting anymore.
I lived a colourful and risky, and fun life from my teens into my mid 30s... I feel like I was drunk&high on life but I have developed a tolerance now. Nothing hits the same.

I still take on more challenges than most but I don't have the same fire inside. I'm slowly heading towards "going through the motions" kind of life. I have enough stories to last a lifetime and I think I'm done.

I'm DIY rebuilding a rotten house and I have a child to bring to adulthood. With those two done, my bucket list is empty. I'm not depressed, I'm at peace.

Your job is not done; you owe it to yourself to seek contentment and fulfilment. You can still grow and learn new stuff. You need to reignite your curiosity.

I can understand how you feel and will probably feel like that myself in years to come. Not yet though, I'm still at the active parenting stage and will be for a while yet. So don't want to go anytime soon.

If only when we want to, we could just slip away like that; no debilitating treatments or diseases to go through. Thinking of how relatives have passed, that would be a dream! Only when you're absolutely ready though, not before.

I feel the same OP, mid fifties. I have been wondering about burn out.

I'd hate to grow really old and have no quality of life. My elderly father hasn't left the house for a year apart from hospital visits and appointments. I would hate that.

Do you still work OP? I'm your age and I feel similar to how you describe about work. I go to work, do my job but most of the time Im thinking I genuinely can't be bothered by this. I feel like it's a constant repeat of the last thirty years and I really can't see the point, other than it funds my lifestyle 🙂im very senior but no one would really notice if I left. In a general life sense I don't feel like I'm done but I'm getting increasingly twitchy because my parents are elderly and their health is failing. Caring for older relatives sucks the joy from life because it's physically and emotionally draining and usually you do it at a time when you're older and more knackered yourself. It also represents a time of transition and that can be exhausting too. It's very easy to get stuck in a routine too. Do you feel a massive shake up would shift your thinking? Something that would alter the dynamic of the routine you have? Maybe you should adopt Eleanor R' do something every day that scares you? And see what happens.

Am also done at 60. I seem to be both invisible, and found to be lacking by those around me.

For me there is something deep rooted about how the roles society see fit for us at this age - carer, grandmother etc don't always fit us, especially when we are likely to be working until 67.

Have you tried exploring meditation? I'm struck by your emphasis on 'doing' and 'achieving', which is what our society values after all. But maybe as we get older there is a shift from doing to 'being' - with all the potential opportunities and richness this offers.
Alan Watts on Zen is entertaining.

I do 'wellness' @Olive567 . I'm a member of a club with lots of wellness things, go to meditation classes, yoga, swim, sound baths, all that sort of stuff but it feels like going through the motions. I cba to do it alone/under my own steam at home. Useful when I was stressed in a MRI scanner last month though.

I think @FutureFeelsBleak gets what I mean. I'm a single parent to two young adults who 'need' me much less but still need a home, support - emotional, financial and other. That 'need' keeps me in a senior, well paid job in a toxic environment that I've come to hate. I've been looking for another job for a year - ageism seems to be real.

Maybe if I got another job I would feel differently.

I cba with socialising much either right now so that's different to the OP I guess.

Does this feel like a natural completion op? Like you have achieved everything you needed to. Or do you feel burnt out? Exhausted? Deeply tired? One will feel a sense of calmness I imagine. One will be of utter exhaustion.

Sounds like boredom or having too much.
Would volunteering make you feel better.?
I think the caring for elderly parents can be a huge drain and I limit what I do to for her á I have lots of siblings.
I'm 58 and have had down spells as I don't drive now have zero friends no grand DC and my DC are busy with their lives.
However I have lots I want to do.
Travel as I've never been abroad,lots of places I want to see.
I'm a very energetic person so I walk miles and I think this helps.
I hope you find something that makes you leap out of bed.

It's the "ticked all the boxes, now what" thing isn't it?
I am considerably younger but I heard of this and keep trying to think what my retire would be like so I don't get this feeling, but frankly, all my plans seem to be up to 70 max and then what. I actually do not like the idea of living until 80+ at all.

I feel the same way. I don't want to live as long as I can, just as long as 'I' feel I ought. My doctor is always trying to push pills for this and that but I always refuse, as I don't want to reach 80, which is not far off. I'm healthy, wealthy and have no complaints but I've seen and done enough.

Oh I identify with this.

I often feel that I've 'finished.' I've done what I want with life and would could happily drift off tonight, never to wake again.

I think my thoughts are compounded by my angst over the way we are treating our precious earth. Just by my being here and living a first world life - I am contributing to emissions, waste, etc. The world would be a far better place without humans in it, including me.

saddest post

OP do you enjoy your very active social life?

Ive felt like that since 27, but i have children so you cant just leave them after you brought them into the world so on we go

You need to expand your horizons a bit OP. New ones or old ones. The curiosity and joy of life seem to have vacated your universe. Living and accessing the joy of each day is a skill we have to master. Surely our lives are not defined by a list of functions and linear milestones. Personally I cannot fault the breath of fresh air that comes with being outside, seeing some thing grow or a fresh sunrise, a mellow evening and the like.

Maybe friendship groups or interests would be a thing for you to develop. This has helped me. Using my gifts to help others has definitely helped me. I do think you sound low in mood. My life has been difficult of late and I recognise the vibe.

When life is full of duty and responsibility we forget that we have a choice to completely redefine and expand our concept of who we are. I don't feel like you though I've had a great life. I do feel new challenges on the horizon and I'm so glad I moved from the stuck place to where I am now. I hope you move on from where you are and conquer your fear of ageing, which is what I'm hearing.

You say you've done everything but how can that be true? You've done the expected things. As I said earlier, beyond doing the unexpected, there is the pleasant the meaningful or in my case the artistic, these still hold myriad things to do, enjoy and be satisfied by. A life defined by expected trajectories may be all done but now there's the life defined by interest, passion and joy In cultural contributions involving wisdom and idea. I have some hard challenges coming but I'll get there. In many ways it's an un known, you'll be fearful some days but moreover you'll open the door to all that life can be and the despondency will fade. I'm same as you except I have eight grand children who provide wonder each day even though I don't see them massively often. On a daily basis I'm preparing to move, decluttering (though i hate that word- every thing has a purpose if we are re-using recycling and up cycling) i just started a little business with upcycling- one persons clutter is another persons resource. Certainly i dont have any clutter, all saved things are my resources for my future business; currently packing, caring for my dog, dealing with an illness or two, a disability, loneliness, some days I am low but my out look is different To yours. Due to the degenerative, arthritic pain in my spine my achievements are small. This is very frustrating to someone who likes things done yesterday, but things are coming on. The journey is started and ongoing. I think if you shift your emphasis, assuming you're not joking or just stimulating debate, things will shift for you. I hope they shift for you. Have a great day and wake up to the rest of your life. A bit at a time...

I think your point is wise and the crux of low mood for many older people. We live in an ageist society which no longer values wisdom or the old. It didn't help when we had a prime minister who actually publicly said old people should be gotten rid of. Bye Boris. Our culture is very different to many others even in Europe, toward the old. Everyone forgets that one day they too will be in that space and that paying it forward is a self preservation thing as well as the decent thing to do. There is only one thing worse than being an older person and that is being an older person who is female. Rank and institutional ageist mysogeny all around which is depressing in the extreme.

Op
You sound lonely
You said you 'had' a good marriage....are you now on your own.
My dh is my best friend, now the kids have flown the nest - and for me empty nest was an awful big adjustment
You also casually mention care for elderly parents - another huge , demanding thing - that sends people over the edge
Your life in these alone doesn't sound very contented - unless I've missed something...

Think it's time to cook a big comforting pie with mash....

You can put me down as a friend. I hope you get to do all your goals...

Aw what's your passion you couldn't do when you were younger and had kids to direct and manage? Can you go back to that? Join clubs? Volunteer? Arrange to see or help with your gorgeous grandchildren? Xx

i kind of feel this but as my user name suggests I’m deeply sad. Not depressed but sad and have been for years. Life has been cruel and I have just kind of accepted that I’ve got stuff to do stuff to get through and when I’m done or it’s done that’s that.

No... I don't feel like this; I have actually become happier as I have grown older. You are entitled to your own world view of course. I would not comment or challenge your point of view unless you were clinically depressed.

Realistically we're all just "filling time" every day of our lives. Having a career, a family etc, are all ways of filling our time here. Few people get to do something truly remarkable that will impact the world as a whole.

Most people just pass through. Sure we might be missed by family/friends when we're gone, but once they're gone too, we're totally forgotten!

I don't "fear" death. It makes no real difference to me if I die now or in 30 years time. Once I'm gone, I'm gone and I will know nothing about it (don't believe in any kind of "afterlife"). So whatever I did or didn't do in life is meaningless at that point to me, as I won't exist to know.

I'd like to hang around a bit longer, mainly for my DC. I enjoy life on a day to day basis and would like to keep doing so for a bit longer. But like you, I've done the things I really wanted to do. I think it's ok to feel that way and I wouldn't class it as any kind of depression. I think it's probably far healthier mentally, than wanting to cling on at all costs. I just enjoy each day as it comes and don't worry about much at all.