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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this mother should be ashamed of herself

726 replies

2boyzNosleep · 11/12/2024 19:57

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly2zq1yl0ko

17yr old girl & 18 yr old boy hook up on holiday in Dubai. I believe they may have met over there. The girls mother finds messages on the girls phone when they return to the UK. The mother reports the guy to Dubai police. He gets arrested as sex with anyone under 18yrs is illegal in Dubai. He has now been sentenced to 1 year in prison.

I haven't looked into it much, as far as I can tell it was consensual, a charity called Detained in Dubai have been trying to help (legally I think).

Am I alone in thinking how bloody spiteful the mother is?!? The girl is 17 years old and I think in another report saw that she turned 18 shortly after returning.

Marcus Fakana in school uniform

Marcus Fakana: Briton, 18, sentenced over Dubai sex with girl, 17

Marcus Fakana has been sentenced for a year over the relationship, a campaign group in Dubai says.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly2zq1yl0ko

OP posts:
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Blueskieslookingatme · 11/12/2024 21:41

petedicks · 11/12/2024 20:28

Fucking Dubai. Seriously, why would anyone go there? Baffling.

My niece has lived and worked out there for years. She makes a tax free fortune and has what her mum (my sister) refers to as "slaves" relieving her of domestic chores.

Blueskieslookingatme · 11/12/2024 21:42

PullTheBricksDown · 11/12/2024 20:19

Given the high number of men who get away with actual rape this seems really harsh.

Yes, it IS somewhat ironic.

Blueskieslookingatme · 11/12/2024 21:43

petedicks · 11/12/2024 20:25

What a cunt.

Succinct!

Pink39tree · 11/12/2024 21:43

schoolmum11 · 11/12/2024 21:37

Do you have a link to these pictures on twitter?

I don’t know if I’m allowed to link but it’s all over Twitter but if you type “marcus fakana girl” into the search bar it will be the first thing to pop up

BellesAndGraces · 11/12/2024 21:43

SavingTheBestTillLast · 11/12/2024 21:41

Hopefully they will use it to support him in jail.
He will need money to buy basics there.

The GoFundMe page summarises what the money is being spent on, mainly accommodation and legal costs. Hopefully the more publicity his case gets the more people donate to it.

StrikeForever · 11/12/2024 21:44

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/12/2024 19:59

He broke the law.

This is what happens when you break the law.

We can’t call people who report sexual crimes ‘spiteful’. We don’t know the details.

Both of these young people broke Dubai Law. They were both 17 and the girl was only a couple of months younger than the boy. There has been no suggestion anywhere in this case that the contact was anything other than fully consensual. The boy was charged with and convicted of having sex with an underage girl of the same age as himself.

Also, the age of consent in the UK (both kids are British) is 16. Would it occur to two 17-year-olds to check if the law is different in a country they were visiting. This was a nasty, malicious move on the part of the girl’s mother who is acknowledged to be ‘very strict’, because in this instance, she didn’t succeed in controlling her daughter’s behaviour.

Mumof3girlsandaboy · 11/12/2024 21:45

Ger1atricMillennial · 11/12/2024 21:13

Also if she was ashamed due to the race issue, the whole fricking world knows now don't they.

💯

SavingTheBestTillLast · 11/12/2024 21:45

Blueskieslookingatme · 11/12/2024 21:41

My niece has lived and worked out there for years. She makes a tax free fortune and has what her mum (my sister) refers to as "slaves" relieving her of domestic chores.

Definitely not somewhere anyone should waste their money on for a holiday though.
I do hope they get a hit on visitor numbers.
🙏🙏🙏

Optimist2020 · 11/12/2024 21:45

SavingTheBestTillLast · 11/12/2024 21:20

I thought their identities were kept secret.
Wonder how that happened

Looks like the pictures were taken at the airport , possibly at Dubai.

ThatRareUmberJoker · 11/12/2024 21:45

UndeniablyGenX · 11/12/2024 20:10

Out of interest, would people's responses be the same if this had happened in the UK and he was 16, she was 15?

Are you forgetting the woman with 21 or 22 children. How old was she and him when she became pregnant?

Pink39tree · 11/12/2024 21:45

after seeing the identity of the mum it’s clear that this wasn’t her trying to be a good parent but the underlying racism and backward thinking that she wanted to punish him for bringing her daughter “shame”. It’s the 21st century, what is this backward thinking! The irony is she’s now probably brought more shame to her family

MumWifeOther · 11/12/2024 21:45

MerryChristmasYaFilthyBrusselSprout · 11/12/2024 21:38

How would he know that though? Meet the parents before having any kind of relationship with her? It was a holiday romance, how was he to know she had a spiteful bitch as a mother?

Maybe you’re not well versed in certain cultures but I’m telling you he would have known very well that the parents would have been perfectly capable of this….. and so would have his parents.

I would have locked my son in his room rather than let him pursue a holiday romance in a Muslim country with a girl who has racist parents!

Feelingathomenow · 11/12/2024 21:46

Blueskieslookingatme · 11/12/2024 21:41

My niece has lived and worked out there for years. She makes a tax free fortune and has what her mum (my sister) refers to as "slaves" relieving her of domestic chores.

Ah so being able to have slaves is a reason to move there. The UEA has the 7th highest prevalence of modern day slavery https://www.walkfree.org/global-slavery-index/findings/global-findings/

I bet so many of the National trust supporting MC go to Dubai. They spend hours wandering round National Trust properties tutting at slavery that occurred 100s of years ago then pour money into the coffers of modern day slave traders

Global findings | Walk Free

An estimated 49.6 million people were living in situations of modern slavery on any given day in 2021.

https://www.walkfree.org/global-slavery-index/findings/global-findings

Feelingathomenow · 11/12/2024 21:47

MumWifeOther · 11/12/2024 21:45

Maybe you’re not well versed in certain cultures but I’m telling you he would have known very well that the parents would have been perfectly capable of this….. and so would have his parents.

I would have locked my son in his room rather than let him pursue a holiday romance in a Muslim country with a girl who has racist parents!

How did his parents know they were racist?

StrikeForever · 11/12/2024 21:47

UndeniablyGenX · 11/12/2024 20:10

Out of interest, would people's responses be the same if this had happened in the UK and he was 16, she was 15?

They were both 17!

MerryChristmasYaFilthyBrusselSprout · 11/12/2024 21:47

ThatRareUmberJoker · 11/12/2024 21:45

Are you forgetting the woman with 21 or 22 children. How old was she and him when she became pregnant?

She was 13 and he was just short of being 18 but everything is hunky dory with them as he married her 🤨

SavingTheBestTillLast · 11/12/2024 21:48

Feelingathomenow · 11/12/2024 21:46

Ah so being able to have slaves is a reason to move there. The UEA has the 7th highest prevalence of modern day slavery https://www.walkfree.org/global-slavery-index/findings/global-findings/

I bet so many of the National trust supporting MC go to Dubai. They spend hours wandering round National Trust properties tutting at slavery that occurred 100s of years ago then pour money into the coffers of modern day slave traders

Excuse me
NT member here and I wouldnt be seen dead in a country like that.

Its also worth noting NT members like history and culture…..Dubais is severely lacking, all they have is heat and sand.
It’s definitely not your average NT culture/ history loving destination.

GiraffesAtThePark · 11/12/2024 21:49

We’re looking at this with hindsight. It likely never entered his head that he was committing a crime. Especially being alone together engaged in consensual acts. If she said she was the same year as him he could have just thought she was the same age with no further thoughts on the matter.

MrsSunshine2b · 11/12/2024 21:49

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/12/2024 19:59

He broke the law.

This is what happens when you break the law.

We can’t call people who report sexual crimes ‘spiteful’. We don’t know the details.

"Sexual crimes" in Dubai include sex outside of marriage so technically the daughter should be locked up too.

oakleaffy · 11/12/2024 21:50

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/12/2024 19:59

He broke the law.

This is what happens when you break the law.

We can’t call people who report sexual crimes ‘spiteful’. We don’t know the details.

They were boyfriend and girlfriend. The mother is an arsehole.Probably cross her daughter had sex.

Feelingathomenow · 11/12/2024 21:50

SavingTheBestTillLast · 11/12/2024 21:48

Excuse me
NT member here and I wouldnt be seen dead in a country like that.

Its also worth noting NT members like history and culture…..Dubais is severely lacking, all they have is heat and sand.
It’s definitely not your average NT culture/ history loving destination.

Edited

I’m a NT member too, but there’s a certain breed of NT member who like to join in the NT with self flagation and rampant horror at historical slavery yet seem to have no problem with supporting modern day slavery

MerryChristmasYaFilthyBrusselSprout · 11/12/2024 21:50

MrsSunshine2b · 11/12/2024 21:49

"Sexual crimes" in Dubai include sex outside of marriage so technically the daughter should be locked up too.

Which is why the mother waited until they were safely back over here.

SavingTheBestTillLast · 11/12/2024 21:51

MrsSunshine2b · 11/12/2024 21:49

"Sexual crimes" in Dubai include sex outside of marriage so technically the daughter should be locked up too.

She’s still under age though. So considered a minor and victim

ElleWoods15 · 11/12/2024 21:51

StrikeForever · 11/12/2024 21:44

Both of these young people broke Dubai Law. They were both 17 and the girl was only a couple of months younger than the boy. There has been no suggestion anywhere in this case that the contact was anything other than fully consensual. The boy was charged with and convicted of having sex with an underage girl of the same age as himself.

Also, the age of consent in the UK (both kids are British) is 16. Would it occur to two 17-year-olds to check if the law is different in a country they were visiting. This was a nasty, malicious move on the part of the girl’s mother who is acknowledged to be ‘very strict’, because in this instance, she didn’t succeed in controlling her daughter’s behaviour.

No, he was 18 and at the time she was 17, and the law in the Dubai sees as sex with a minor.

So he did commit a crime technically, and Dubai is not known for its leniency when it comes to crimes of a sexual nature.

Nonetheless I feel sad for him.

SuperfluousHen · 11/12/2024 21:51

MerryChristmasYaFilthyBrusselSprout · 11/12/2024 21:50

Which is why the mother waited until they were safely back over here.

No, consensual sex between adults is legal in Dubai.

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