Page 21 | To think this mother should be ashamed of herself

2boyzNosleep · 2024-12-11T19:57:42+00:00

[[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly2zq1yl0ko https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly2zq1yl0ko]] 17yr old girl & 18 yr old boy hook up on holiday in Dubai. I believe they may have met over there. The girls mother finds messages on the girls phone when they return to the UK. The mother reports the guy to Dubai police. He gets arrested as sex with anyone under 18yrs is illegal in Dubai. He has now been sentenced to 1 year in prison. I haven't looked into it much, as far as I can tell it was consensual, a charity called Detained in Dubai have been trying to help (legally I think). Am I alone in thinking how bloody spiteful the mother is?!? The girl is 17 years old and I think in another report saw that she turned 18 shortly after returning.

StarlightLady · 12/12/2024 13:40

2Rebecca · 12/12/2024 11:57

It's a warning not to take your teenagers to Dubai. The girl's parents must have presumed their 17 year old daughter was safe from randy males wanting a sexual holiday romance due to Dubai's rules. The man is 18 and should have understood the rules in Dubai are different, it's not a secret. The mother saw pictures on the girl's phone it's unclear what of but if he was encouraging her to take sexual pictures that's an offense even in the UK. He doesn't deserve to go to jail but was very foolish.

Randy males? As a then happily sexually active 17 year old female (40s now) my hormones were bubbling. Certainly being “randy” (it’s a long time since l’ve heard that word), was equally in my court.

angrymenopausal · 12/12/2024 13:41

nellly · 12/12/2024 13:38

Is no one else wondering how they afforded a trip Dubai working in a warehouse and as a cleaner

No I doubt they were. Dubai is a package holiday destination. People on low wage jobs are allowed to save up to go on nice holidays.

StaunchMomma · 12/12/2024 13:42

When I was in secondary a friend of mine (who was by no means innocent in the ways of sex) had been very open with our group of friends in her plans to try to shag a lad she fancied at an upcoming party.

Party arrived, she got absolutely leathered, as we all did, took the lad in question upstairs and then a girl arrived who hated her and wanted to fight her. The girl barged into the bedroom and my friend jumped up and ran out of the house.

She was caught a mile or so down the road by Police, who obviously noted her bare feet and state of undress, and took her to the hospital.

Horrible situation, obviously, BUT her Mum insisted on pressing rape charges on the boy she had been intimate with. She absolutely knew that her daughter was a willing participant and that her friends knew of her plan to sleep with him....so she dragged us all round and read out a list of things we'd done in our young lives that we wouldn't want our parents to know about and threatened to tell them if we didn't keep our mouths shut. She was pretty much rabid in her vindictiveness and we were all so afraid of her.

We did keep quiet, I'm ashamed to say. The lad in question was put on the sex offenders register for years, although we didn't know that at the time. He was a lovely lad, too. Still is and I'm happy to say he's been very happily married for decades and has lovely kids and grandkids.

I really wish we'd had the balls to tell the bitch to go feck herself, honestly.

There's just no need for this kind of punishment when the girl was a willing participant who hadn't been groomed or coerced.

MerryChristmasYaFilthyBrusselSprout · 12/12/2024 13:43

nellly · 12/12/2024 13:38

Is no one else wondering how they afforded a trip Dubai working in a warehouse and as a cleaner

Not at all. My DS works in a warehouse and has more money than me. Plus you can get some good deals on holidays out there. What are you suggesting?

Username056 · 12/12/2024 13:44

nellly · 12/12/2024 13:38

Is no one else wondering how they afforded a trip Dubai working in a warehouse and as a cleaner

No I’m not wondering at all. Perhaps they saved up and went low season. It might have been fairly reasonable on a holiday package deal with all inclusive type thing.

Pippa246 · 12/12/2024 13:45

UndeniablyGenX · 11/12/2024 20:10

Out of interest, would people's responses be the same if this had happened in the UK and he was 16, she was 15?

But they weren’t.

nellly · 12/12/2024 13:45

@MerryChristmasYaFilthyBrusselSprout
I wasn't suggesting anything just a bit jealous probably! I always thought it was really exclusive and expensive but as we can't afford it to be fair I haven't actually looked at prices. I didn't think it was relevant just surprised when I read on bbc article that they had to get back to work in cleaning adn warehouse roles 🤷🏻‍♀️

SavingTheBestTillLast · 12/12/2024 13:51

nellly · 12/12/2024 13:38

Is no one else wondering how they afforded a trip Dubai working in a warehouse and as a cleaner

A week in a sea front hotel for three adults, all inclusive including flights in August next year £1250

MrsSunshine2b · 12/12/2024 14:06

UndeniablyGenX · 11/12/2024 20:10

Out of interest, would people's responses be the same if this had happened in the UK and he was 16, she was 15?

Most people wouldn't bat an eyelid at a sexual relationship between a 15 yo and a 16 yo in the UK, except possibly their parents. There certainly would not be criminal charges brought.

2Rebecca · 12/12/2024 14:24

This wasn't in the UK though. The girl's parents chose to holiday in a country where sex is illegal under 18 and where the laws on consensual sexual activity are much stricter than here. I would not have been happy for my son when 18 to strike up a holiday romance, especially one with an under 18 year old whose parents I knew disapproved in a country with such strict rules.
Lots of things are legal in the UK which are illegal in Dubai. I wouldn't go there for that reason.

justasking111 · 12/12/2024 14:31

2Rebecca · 12/12/2024 14:24

This wasn't in the UK though. The girl's parents chose to holiday in a country where sex is illegal under 18 and where the laws on consensual sexual activity are much stricter than here. I would not have been happy for my son when 18 to strike up a holiday romance, especially one with an under 18 year old whose parents I knew disapproved in a country with such strict rules.
Lots of things are legal in the UK which are illegal in Dubai. I wouldn't go there for that reason.

You're assuming that the parents knew that she was under 18 and knew that they were having sex.

Hands up who told their parents about their love life when teenagers. My mother demanded that I be a virgin on my wedding night. And tutted at my choice of a white wedding dress.

RawBloomers · 12/12/2024 15:02

ThatRareUmberJoker · 12/12/2024 08:10

A quick Google search will explain in more detail better than my explanation if you are having trouble understanding what I am talking about.

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I can find almost anything with a quick google search. Something being on the Internet doesn’t make it reliable.

biscuitandcake · 12/12/2024 15:12

nellly · 12/12/2024 13:38

Is no one else wondering how they afforded a trip Dubai working in a warehouse and as a cleaner

Dubai's reasonably cheap. Part of the reason it seems so luxurious is precisely because your money goes quite far there. So the flights themselves might be more expensive than going to Spain or similar because its further away. But accommodation etc doesn't have to be. Its cheap luxury basically. This isn't an advert for Dubai - I would say the cheapness is offset by the fact you can get arrested for crazy shit and their human rights record isn't great. But its easy to get lulled into a false sense of security and then find out, suddenly, that the police really don't operate the way they would in the UK and that you are very much a second/third class citizen compared to locals.

ThatRareUmberJoker · 12/12/2024 16:06

RawBloomers · 12/12/2024 15:02

I can find almost anything with a quick google search. Something being on the Internet doesn’t make it reliable.

Show quote history

Neither does going to Dubai.

apd23 · 12/12/2024 17:45

And let's flip it the other way, if the girl was 16 and the boy 15? Get her on the sex register immediately?

Original poster

2boyzNosleep · 12/12/2024 18:04

Shellybeans · 12/12/2024 09:45

@2boyzNosleep She reported it because she was unhappy. Not because it was assault (although obviously due to age of consent in Dubai it does come under that). I go back to, if they were so concerned about her having sex, how did the opportunity come about? He didn't abduct her, they both consented. And they were months apart in age. It's not like he was 18 and she was 14.

Where do you draw the line though? We can argue day and night about whether it’s right or fair or even logical but in Dubai, 18 is the age of consent. I agree, a few months are hardly going to make a difference in maturity, responsibility or understanding but that’s not what the laws or culture in Dubai allows for. Technically, she was underage and could not legally consent. This is an important lesson for all young men and women to learn and understand (as they also need to understand consent can be withdrawn, not saying no is not the same as saying yes, etc).

As an example, the legal age for drinking here is 18 and there are very hefty fines (and potentially prison) for serving alcohol to someone under 18. You don’t get a pass if they’re almost 18. Even if it’s their birthday tomorrow, you cannot legally serve them alcohol. I’m sure some bar staff do and probably get away with it, but that doesn’t mean they’re right or smart to do so - or that a parent is wrong for reporting it if it happens, even though most parents probably wouldn’t.

If you went on a family holiday and found out that your daughter had willing sex with someone a few months older, would you really report it, knowing that it could ruin the other person's life??

No, I wouldn’t. I would ensure my daughter was not coerced/forced as that would be my main concern, but I’d like to think my daughter and I have a healthy and respectful relationship where she would not need to sneak around or lie to me or put herself into a potentially unsafe position. However, just because this mother made a different choice doesn’t mean she’s disgusting/racist/vile/a cunt/deserves threats or to have her life and her daughter’s life ruined as payback, either. As quick as we are to give the male here the benefit of the doubt for “not knowing the law” (or not understanding the law), perhaps the mother also didn’t realise how serious the consequences could be, for all the reasons everyone keeps pointing out (daughter almost 18, consensual, etc)?

All I'm saying with the age gap, its insignificant so it's not like he took advantage of someone much younger. I'm not saying that I expect Dubai should be lenient because, as you stated, different countries, different laws.

I fully believe that she knew what she was doing when she made that choice. She either already knew the Dubai law or researched it. I said in a PP that apparently in Dubai law its illegal to look through someone else's phone without their permission, which is what I imagine the mother did. It is a suspicious 'coincidence' of finding out once they were back in the UK. I doubt it was a moment of rage, ringing up Dubai a few minutes after finding out. It was calculated.

OP posts:

RawBloomers · 12/12/2024 18:14

ThatRareUmberJoker · 12/12/2024 16:06

Neither does going to Dubai.

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So you’re agreeing your comment was unjustified rumour?

The UAE has engaged in some egregious treatment of women (and people generally, especially migrant workers). That doesn’t mean every bad thing anyone has ever said about their treatment of women is true. Laws have been rewritten pretty recently and I haven’t seen evidence that the harsh legal treatment of women, especially Western women, engaging in sex outside of marriage (or rape victims) continues now.

GillianCarole · 12/12/2024 18:39

I think we know enough. They are the same age. It was consensual. If he's convicted of an offence, then so should the girl be. The mother deliberately waited to get home before reporting to authorities. Her daughter should return to Dubai to face the consequences (actually I think they should let him go, and the girl tell her mother to butt out of her life).

WillimNot · 12/12/2024 18:44

@2boyzNosleep you are indicative of the issues of Brits and rules.

If you travel to a foreign country, look into, and respect, their rules and laws. It's not hard

Sadly, he didn't. He is now facing the consequences of his actions.

Half the problem with the UK now is that laws seem to be there to be got round, broken and ignored. It's why we are in the mess we are.

There's no excuse and he now has a year to contemplate his attitude.

I refuse to feel sad for him or anyone else who thinks being British means laws don't apply.

GillianCarole · 12/12/2024 18:54

This is not over until the girl has returned to Dubai to face the same charge. The act was not assault, it was consensual. They are the same age. It's pointless speculating what would happen if she were 15 & he was 16 - they weren't, so it's totally irrelevant. They were 17 - I don't believe any of us would have thought of checking local laws before doing something like this at the same age. Get off your pedestals being so judgmental about these children. They were not adults at the time. We should remember that.

StarlightLady · 12/12/2024 18:57

WillimNot · 12/12/2024 18:44

@2boyzNosleep you are indicative of the issues of Brits and rules.

If you travel to a foreign country, look into, and respect, their rules and laws. It's not hard

Sadly, he didn't. He is now facing the consequences of his actions.

Half the problem with the UK now is that laws seem to be there to be got round, broken and ignored. It's why we are in the mess we are.

There's no excuse and he now has a year to contemplate his attitude.

I refuse to feel sad for him or anyone else who thinks being British means laws don't apply.

How many people research all laws before they visit a country? It is not possible.

And you can look closer to home. The number of UK drivers driving in France without carrying visi-jackets, breatherlsisers and warning triangles for starters.

As for laws in the UK being got round, this would have been lawful in the UK.

The UK is not in a mess because of our age of consent laws (which also apply to medical procedures), and are a higher age than many countries, including some member states in the EU, nor is it in a mess because of our judicial system and legislature.

Sceptical123 · 12/12/2024 18:59

2boyzNosleep · 12/12/2024 18:04

All I'm saying with the age gap, its insignificant so it's not like he took advantage of someone much younger. I'm not saying that I expect Dubai should be lenient because, as you stated, different countries, different laws.

I fully believe that she knew what she was doing when she made that choice. She either already knew the Dubai law or researched it. I said in a PP that apparently in Dubai law its illegal to look through someone else's phone without their permission, which is what I imagine the mother did. It is a suspicious 'coincidence' of finding out once they were back in the UK. I doubt it was a moment of rage, ringing up Dubai a few minutes after finding out. It was calculated.

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How do we know it was consensual? We’ve only got the 18year old male’s perspective.

Maybe she thought they were in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that she necessarily wanted to go as far as sex though. We don’t know the circumstances.

She could have felt very vulnerable being at a location away from her family so went along with it despite not fully wanting to. He may or may not have been aware of this. She could have told her mum she didn’t want to do it when they got home.

Unless someone was in the room with them we’ll never know will we.

ErinBell01 · 12/12/2024 19:03

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 11/12/2024 20:03

On the face of it she is clearly a bitch. But.

How did she know they’d had sex? Assuming that she wasn’t an active observer, the daughter had to have told her.

Likely the daughter knows what kind of person she is, this won’t have been the first time she’s acted like this, the daughter still told her? Why?

I’m not sure the daughter is all that innocent here either.

The mother read the messages on her daughter's phone. When she went to meet him she told her mother she was going for a walk because the mother was very strict. Apparently an Indian family so 'honour' at stake. I can't see the girl has done anything wrong.

Pipsquiggle · 12/12/2024 19:17

I have also heard that the 17 year old girl, soon after, turned 18.

The mother of the girl is an absolute bitch.
I hope karma comes for her. What a bitter woman to do this shitty thing.

Naunet · 12/12/2024 19:17

GillianCarole · 12/12/2024 18:39

I think we know enough. They are the same age. It was consensual. If he's convicted of an offence, then so should the girl be. The mother deliberately waited to get home before reporting to authorities. Her daughter should return to Dubai to face the consequences (actually I think they should let him go, and the girl tell her mother to butt out of her life).

Why do people keep saying this? She didn't have sex with anyone underage. Do you think over here children who 'have sex with adults' get arrested? Of course not, so why do you think it would be the case there?

This case is awful, he should not have been arrested, but I don't know what on earth the 17 year old, who is seen as a child, should be charged with.