To worry about a stay and play?

[User100028]

I can’t make Dd’s stay and play tomorrow. I am worrying a lot that other adults are going to be in a room with my child who I have never met and have no reason to trust. My dd is only 2 so won’t be able to tell me anything. I’m also worried she will feel left out as a child there without her parents as we are working. I don’t understand why these things are acceptable? Am I missing something?

What don’t you understand is acceptable?

Assuming it’s a nursery there will be lots of parents who can’t go (hence their child being in nursery!) but it’s nice for them to provide the chance for those who can’t make it to go in.

they will have plenty in place to ensure all children are kept safe.

The staff will be there too.

I thought the whole point of stay and play was that the parents stay. Otherwise it would be childcare. Unless I'm missing something

You sound unhinged. Presumably this is at a nursery with paid staff? They will keep your kid safe same as they do everyday.

They won’t be left with the kids unattended, the staff will be there. I’m not sure what’s unacceptable about it.

Have to admit I always feel bad for my children when I can’t make these things, which does happen as I’m a teacher so I’m not very flexible, although I am part time so it just depends on the day it falls on.

But she will be in no danger.

I think mum guilty is probably to blame here! There will be lovely mum's there who include your daughter in play with their own children. If you genuinely worry about every single person who may come in contact woth your child you have a long few years ahead of you.

As your child is 2 this must be nursery, and most parents are probably using nursery for the same reason as you - because they have to work. So the children won't all have a parent with them, many won't, and the staff will be interacting with them just like on a normal day. They also won't leave any children unattended with adults who are not staff, they worksheet be allowed to. So try and relax, there is really not the level of risk you seem to be feeling. Honestly, this is no big deal.

Do you mean a session at her childcare setting where parents are allowed to attend?
if you think that maybe half or 2/3 of children have a parent there, the remaining children without parents in attendance end up with a 1:2 staff to child ratio.
In my experience of attending nursery sessions, the children without parents there are just getting more attention from the staff.

@babasaclover when I looked round the nursery and met the staff, I didn’t enrol my child on the basis that they would be mixing with other adult strangers who have no DSB check.

@Brbreeze thanks that makes me feel a little better!

Is this at a nursery?
The staff will be there. The other parents will mostly be only interested in their own children.
I also doubt you will be the only parent who can't attend.

You are leaving your child in the care of nursery staff who will ensure her safety whether there’s other parents, maintenance men or anyone else in the room.

Do you plan to ever take your child out in public?

I’d find it odd too since usually people send children to nursery for childcare but you have nothing to worry about. The children won’t be left unsupervised with any of the parents.

@takealettermsjones yes. Which is fine because I’m with her.

when she can communicate properly it’s different. I think it’s bad form to allow strangers, with no dsb check into the vicinity of other children

When you enrolled your child at nursery you did so on the basis that they would act in loco parentis.

You realise that when you looked round as a prospective parent, you were the stranger in the room with no DBS? But it was fine, because you were under the supervision of staff, same as when a stay and play happens.

Aren't the strangers in the room parents of the other children?

I went to a stay and play at dd's nursery last week and it was a lovely experience. It was great to see where she goes everyday and meet her friends. I
I'm really not sure why you think it's unacceptable. Genuinely what do you think is going to happen in 30 mins with a class full of staff and parents? Really dont understand your concerns, I think you're massively overthinking and perhaps projecting guilt that you cant go.

@SometimesCalmPerson one person is very different to many additional people in the room

Things like this are part of what nurseries have to offer to be seen by OFSTED as promoting positive relationships with parents. Think what you like about that, but inviting parents to be involved with things like this is usually seen as good practice.

The few stay and plays I went to only had 3 or 4 parents there anyway, from about 12ish kids that attended that day.

Why? There will still be the same staff caring for your child.

Do you think children are at risk when being cared for by a nanny or childminder in public? Is there a chance you’re projecting your feelings about not being able to go into an issue that doesn’t exist?