To worry about a stay and play?

[User100028]

I can’t make Dd’s stay and play tomorrow. I am worrying a lot that other adults are going to be in a room with my child who I have never met and have no reason to trust. My dd is only 2 so won’t be able to tell me anything. I’m also worried she will feel left out as a child there without her parents as we are working. I don’t understand why these things are acceptable? Am I missing something?

I think you are catastrophising slightly. You are looking for reasons to be overly worried when you have signed up to have your kid there (so not a strange unfamiliar forced environment), there are professionals who will be in the room at all times etc.

Send the message to your kid about having fun without you, being resilient when you leave and being relaxed in these situations rathe than being anxious worried and tense. She may only be two but will sense your feelings toward it.

I think if you're this anxious you're better off quitting your job and staying home tbh. Remember, DBS checks don't show if someone has ever committed a crime, only if they've been caught.

@User100028 I completely understand your concerns. I had the same feelings with my own children at a stay and play.

I've done a few now and it's completely eased my anxiety around the whole thing.

The staff are VERY present and watching the children and parents like a hawk. After all, they don't want to appear incompetent to the people that pay for their services.

Mine were split over a few days so that there was smaller numbers of parents each day. This made it easier for the staff to supervise and easier for parents to have the opportunity to attend one.

In my experience it was a wonderful opportunity to see what your child does all day and meet the staff and other parents on a deeper level.

I am fully appreciative that the staff held these days as I'm now even more comfortable with leaving my children in their care.

Why don't you see if they could organise another day to allow others to attend that couldn't make this one? I guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised with how much you enjoy it.

What on earth do you think is going to happen in a room full of adults and children?

No, not take the time off, I’m picking them up to take them to another form of childcare so that I can continue my SELF EMPLOYED work! How dare you say another mother’s parenting is ILLOGICAL when the safety of my children is my utmost main priority & my family member and multiple friends were involved in a massacre at a children’s dance class.

No, we are home educating.

But you are being illogical, understandably so.

You'd be far better trying to deal with the trauma induced anxiety instead of attempting to cut your children off from the world.

Do the kids not go on trips with the nursery staff? They will then likely be in rooms with adults they don’t know. This is happening in broad daylight with the nursery staff present. I genuinely think you may need some kind of professional help with your anxiety.

But it is illogical. Just because it’s another mother’s parenting doesn’t mean it’s automatically logical, does it?

Wow. Absolutely ridiculous and tasteless using such an event to justify your ILLOGICAL parenting. If something so awful were to happen I don't think your presence would make a blind bit of difference.

I'm not sure if you're saying that you were directly involved with what happened in Southport and I'm sorry if you were. That would explain your train of thought somewhat but that doesn't mean it's not illogical. The perpetrator of this terrible crime was not a parent who was invited into the space. He was a stranger. By that logic a similar crime could be carried out anywhere, on the street, park, supermarket etc. The only way you can restrict your child's exposure to other people is to lock them away and you can't do that.

It is illogical. You are being illogical. No amount of “how dare you” will change that. He was an evil maniac who came in off the street. It’s not comparable.

If you don’t trust your child’s nursery to run a successful and safe stay and play, you shouldn’t have them there at all. Lock them up at home every day where they won’t ever see anyone except their mother. These same parents at the stay and play come to the nursery every day for pick up and drop off.

What do you think the future will be like for your children if they can’t attend stay and plays, parent/child events, participate in sports days where all the parents are in attendance, take part in the school play, Christmas show, or concert where all the parents will come to watch?

I don’t actually believe you’re genuine. If you are I feel sorry for you and you desperately need therapy.

I’m also from very near Southport and had been to the Hart Space while pregnant many times. What happened was absolutely horrific. I’m sorry you are close to people who were present during the attack.
However your behaviour and feelings are not rational or normal. You seriously need to get help for your anxiety and neuroses otherwise you’re going to damage your kids. You can’t protect them from everything and you’re currently seeing danger where there is none.
Either get professional help, or save up so your kids can in the future.

To add to that @Mumof2toddlersx what does the time of day have to do with how “dangerous” is apparently is to allow parents to spend time in their child’s nursery? Is it inherently less dangerous in the morning? Your fear and anxiety is clouding your judgement.

What a bizarre thread 😂😂

Stay & Plays are great! Obviously not all parents can make it as lots of the children are there while parents work. That’s perfectly normal!
Our nursery runs them in smaller sessions so there’s maybe only 6 parents present at a time at the most. That way there’s not an influx of “strangers” and it’s not leaving any children out who’s parent can’t make it as the majority don’t have a parent there at that time.
it allows me to interact with the key workers, to see how they interact with my child, for him to show me his favourite areas of the nursery etc. They also allow key workers to see a bit of the family dynamic and see how the children communicate with family members.