To worry about a stay and play?

[User100028]

I can’t make Dd’s stay and play tomorrow. I am worrying a lot that other adults are going to be in a room with my child who I have never met and have no reason to trust. My dd is only 2 so won’t be able to tell me anything. I’m also worried she will feel left out as a child there without her parents as we are working. I don’t understand why these things are acceptable? Am I missing something?

It annoys me because my children are at nursery for childcare and i feel bad for missing these things. But eventually i learned many people couldnt make it.

I don't worry it is unsafe though. At our nursery the stay and play was for a particular group then another group another time. Surely they dont have space for 1 adult for every child at the same time?

Even if there was bad person in the room, in an hour with lots of people around they would never have any opportunity.

Omg!
All other parents are about to line up the children and send them to the child catcher, or sell them on FB as chimney sweeps or as boot boys. The girls will be lady's maids or pot washers.

Thank you!

This really isn’t normal OP. I hope you are seeking support for this level of anxiety.

I’ve literally made an account just to validate you, as I came looking for a thread with the exact same concerns. I’m hurt to see the way other mums have invalidated you, as you make complete sense and should always trust your gut! Being from Southport, after the attack, I cannot possibly leave my children in a room with 30+ extra random adults. How can I? Knowing the risk. I completely agree with you and disagree with this whole concept, I think it’s irresponsible, especially being in the middle of a day! For those saying “the staff will be there”…a handful of staff cannot possibly have their eyes over 30+ adults and 30+ children at the same time, at all times! It’s incredibly uncomfortable & I’ll be picking my kids up early to take them out of this situation. Inconveniencing my own work to do so, after I’ve paid for them to be CARED FOR!? I’ve signed for them not to leave the building for a reason, why would I be okay with 30+ random strangers coming into the building? Never in a million years will that be happening when I’m not around to protect them! No chance! Your feelings are valid mama, I promise! Xx

Are you going to send your children to school? If so what are you going to do about school plays? These will have around 60+ parents at each show, so lots of different adults in the room.
I think you are being paranoid, these are parents of children invited in to see their children's learning. It isn't publicly advertised and the nursery will presumably have it's usual security measures (locked doors).

So you do not take your children anywhere they may encounter stranger adults? No softplay, swimming, park, zoo?

If you're that bothered then make arrangements to go yourself, taking half a day's leave if necessary.

This is batshit crazy. Your child will not grow up to be a normal functioning member of society with this level of hysteria coming from his mother.

What are you worried about? The other parents will be focused on the room, exploring with their kids , staff will be explaining routines etc why are you paranoid about a dbs check that a normal parent wouldn’t have

I’ll be picking my kids up early to take them out of this situation. Inconveniencing my own work to do so, after I’ve paid for them to be CARED FOR!?

Wait @Mumof2toddlersx you're taking time off work to pick them up early and bring them home rather than just stay and accompany them at the stay and play? How does that make sense?

So much nursery/school bashing on here lately, is it some sort of concerted AI campaign from Russia?

Because I refuse to believe that someone is posting that their child is in the same room as other people without a DBS check.

Another post where I just cannot believe it is it real.

Your reasoning is a bit odd; the vast majority of sexual abuse is perpetrated by "trusted" adults. That's what is meant by grooming; they groom you into trusting them. Strangers are the least of your worries.

I’ll be picking my kids up early to take them out of this situation. Inconveniencing my own work to do so, after I’ve paid for them to be CARED FOR!? I’ve signed for them not to leave the building for a reason, why would I be okay with 30+ random strangers coming into the building? Never in a million years will that be happening when I’m not around to protect them! No chance! Your feelings are valid mama, I promise! Xx

Why not just attend the stay and play? 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Fitzcarraldo353 It don’t make one bit of sense , maybe she wants just the kids there for ‘stay and play’ without adults that ‘ may’ come into contact with her child 🤷‍♂️

The purpose of a stay and play is for parents to 'stay and play' with their child in the childcare setting.

Actually gobsmacked at this. This is completely barmy and cannot be for real.

I have the opposite view OP. I think parents should be allowed in nurseries.

My children’s nursery ( first in the country to be rated outstanding in all areas), let parents in to collect children. I would regularly stay for 15-20 mins after work whilst my kids played. I learnt so much from watching how the staff interacted with the children.

There are always staff there and it’s completely safe.

It's 🦇💩 isn't it?
Any chance you want to explain your illogical thinking here @Mumof2toddlersx ?

Do you trust the staff? Then why wouldn't you trust them to make sure you're daughter is fine even though there are other parents there? The parents will only have eyes for their own kids why nursery staff will be focused on kids without parents present. Your anxiety over this is unhealthy and you should talk to a professional about it.

I went to a stay and play at my daughter’s nursery once and there was only me and one other parent there - the reason people use childcare is because they have to go to work! I ended up looking at books with about 4 different kids as they all gravitated towards someone new. Never was I left in the room alone with them. It was perfectly safe. Also I’m not sure a 2 year old would have much of a concept of being left out or different to other kids in such a situation….they’ll just be cracking on with whatever they’re into at that point in time.

If it bothers you (and I'm not going to invalidate your anxiety), you have 2 choices. Take time off work and go or take time off work and keep your child at home. You can't possibly be thinking that the event should be cancelled?

How many events do you think have been held involving children since the Southport attack @Mumof2toddlersx? Ones where nobody’s has been murdered by a knife welding maniac?

From my experience a few years ago the children where they didn't have parents stay had staff giving them one on one attention. Im guessing because of your worries and also so the child didn't feel left out? On another note, when dc1 started for 3 hour sessions, these stay and play used to be annoying for me because it was the only 3 hours I had to myself to get shopping done, run errands, gym and the play and stay sessions made me feel guilty if I didn't stay as my child will feel left out and when I stayed it will eat up the time I had for myself and life admin. I then met another mum who said she never stays as she's with her child 24/7 and that was her "me time".

Saved me from typing that!!