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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if a man has had bottom surgery they should be put in a woman’s prison?

1000 replies

Bex5490 · 11/12/2024 12:26

Genuinely interested in this and not trying to goad just want to understand.

When people talk of the threat of a man in women’s spaces, I assume the danger is because of their penis.

So if that’s gone then should they be categorised as a woman?

I’m kind of of the opinion that if you’re willing to put that much effort in (as in penis removal) regardless of your chromosomes, I’m happy for you to be called a woman…is this wrong?

OP posts:
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13
Runnieknows · 11/12/2024 14:56

miniaturepixieonacid · 11/12/2024 14:51

Falling for what? That some people have different opinions? I just don't agree that someone who has had surgery should still be treated as a man (or as a woman if the other way around). I agree with you that they still are biologically as they can't change their chromosones. That's really not a controversial opinion at all.

I treat my post op friends as women, I call them women. But I accept other people and the authorities won’t. I’m allowed to feel sad for them about that on a personal level, because I care for them and we have brilliant friendships.

Helleofabore · 11/12/2024 14:56

miniaturepixieonacid · 11/12/2024 14:15

I disagree with this. There's only one way to be biologically female, yes. But we don't live in a vacuum. We interact in society and rely on societal and visual clues to know who we are and where we fit. A 'true' transgender person who has fully transitioned and had surgery is one of those rare people who nobody had a problem with until all the self-id, TWAW, 'what are your pronouns', non binary crap started becoming fashionable.

Chances are you've met a transgender person, treated them as a woman and never realised that they weren't. Someone asked what 'living as a woman' means - the only transgender person I know (as far as I'm aware) that has fully transitioned and was born a man is someone I knew for years before she told me that she was trans. I had no idea (not close friends). She presents as a very ordinary family woman living an ordinary mother's life. If, for some reason, she was to do something prison worthy, nobody would have a clue that she was in the 'wrong' prison unless they had her medical records. Putting her in a man's prison would be nuts. I'm very gender critical, don't believe people can literally change sex etc. But calling people who have (to use old school speak) 'had a sex change' by their biological sex is going too far, in my opinion.

"A 'true' transgender person who has fully transitioned and had surgery" still has a body of a male person and grew up navigating the world around them dealing with how they dealt with their male body and how society treated them with a male body.

They are still male. Even when they are treated as if they have been perceived as female, their reaction to the situation is only ever as a male who has the belief they are female and may have made body modifications. They cannot ever react as a female person would react.

Betsybee88 · 11/12/2024 14:58

I caught the wrong option but I'm in agreement with you.

IdylicDay · 11/12/2024 14:58

Betsybee88 · 11/12/2024 14:58

I caught the wrong option but I'm in agreement with you.

N/M

DowntonFlabbie · 11/12/2024 15:00

AuntieMillicent · 11/12/2024 14:05

Legally, it has to be a penis for it to be rape.

That depends on which country you're in.

OP a penisless man us still a man. Why would you put any men in a women's prison? I don't understand why you would even ask the question.

Naunet · 11/12/2024 15:00

MounjaroOnMyMind · 11/12/2024 14:40

For me it would depend on why they were in prison. If it was for violence against women - or anyone, really - or for a sexual crime, then no, I'd say they should be in a male prison. Of course they are male. However, if the person was a young man who'd had the operation prior to the offence and if the offence hadn't harmed anyone physically and if he had no history of ever hurting women, I'd be more inclined to put him in a female prison.

Can I ask why? I don't understand what is so awful about women having female only spaces. Why are men allowed them but women aren't? Why is someone always trying to find a reason to add a male to a female space?

DowntonFlabbie · 11/12/2024 15:01

Runnieknows · 11/12/2024 14:56

I treat my post op friends as women, I call them women. But I accept other people and the authorities won’t. I’m allowed to feel sad for them about that on a personal level, because I care for them and we have brilliant friendships.

But intellectually you do understand that they are still men, right?

FiveTreeHill · 11/12/2024 15:02

miniaturepixieonacid · 11/12/2024 14:52

I totally agree with you except in the very rare cases where there has been a full, surgical transition. In my opinion, that completely changes things. In yours it does not. That's the only difference between us.

What do you count as full surgical transition? Removal of a penis and fake tits doesn't change someone's sex. A woman isn't just a hole and a pair of tits, and doing some surgery doesn't change a person.

I also really disagree with encouraging people to go through major surgery that's going to come with risk of complications, risk of lifelong infertility etc. I think you do people a real disservice by pretending they can become the opposite sex by removing a couple of body parts.

Naunet · 11/12/2024 15:02

miniaturepixieonacid · 11/12/2024 14:51

Falling for what? That some people have different opinions? I just don't agree that someone who has had surgery should still be treated as a man (or as a woman if the other way around). I agree with you that they still are biologically as they can't change their chromosones. That's really not a controversial opinion at all.

So you'd put transmen in a mens prison?

Helleofabore · 11/12/2024 15:02

MounjaroOnMyMind · 11/12/2024 14:40

For me it would depend on why they were in prison. If it was for violence against women - or anyone, really - or for a sexual crime, then no, I'd say they should be in a male prison. Of course they are male. However, if the person was a young man who'd had the operation prior to the offence and if the offence hadn't harmed anyone physically and if he had no history of ever hurting women, I'd be more inclined to put him in a female prison.

But your scenario actively causes distress to the female people who can accurately identify this person's sex.

If even just one female person in that prison correctly identified that person's sex, is she considered acceptable collateral damage to support what has been now presented by transgender academics themselves to be a philosophical belief?

Helleofabore · 11/12/2024 15:03

NonPlayerCharacter · 11/12/2024 14:48

So prisons should be mixed sex, segregated based only on the crime and the prisoner's self image?

apparently so NPC, apparently so...

Grammarnut · 11/12/2024 15:05

He is still a man. Would you think a man who had lost his penis etc some other way e.g. in an accident, could now be classified as a woman? I doubt most men would agree to that one! After all, having FGM happen to a girl does not make her any less a girl, and a hysterectomy does not unwoman a woman.
So, no, a man with bottom surgery should not be in a woman's prison. He should be in a special unit of the male estate. He's a man.

CatsndtheBear · 11/12/2024 15:05

A man is a man is a man is a man.

Chopping his dick off doesn't change what he is. Biology doesn't lie. A simple blood test should determine who goes where.

Helleofabore · 11/12/2024 15:06

MounjaroOnMyMind · 11/12/2024 14:48

I don’t understand why anyone thinks Rachel Dolezal was wrong to pretend to be black (and get a job intended for a black person), but men have every right to pretend to be women and take advantage of that.

This is something I haven't seen discussed enough. Does anyone actually support her for saying she's black?

As for The Black and White Minstrels being criticised but Ru Paul's Drag Race being on TV...

Does it matter whether she is supported or not?

Can you articulate how it is different?

Or the Dutch man who tried to legally change his age because he wanted to continue to work after passing retirement age and tried to point out that if a male person can change sex on a legal identification document accepted by the government, why couldn't he? Or those people who identify as being babies when they are not.

What is different about those identities?

Grammarnut · 11/12/2024 15:06

Naunet · 11/12/2024 15:00

Can I ask why? I don't understand what is so awful about women having female only spaces. Why are men allowed them but women aren't? Why is someone always trying to find a reason to add a male to a female space?

My thought, too. Whenever he had the surgery and whatever he has done, he is a man.

FreshOutOfFucks · 11/12/2024 15:08

No. There's research that shows male castration doesn't have any impact on offending behaviour. Except in so far as they wouldn't be able to rape with a penis, but could still sexually assault a victim.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 11/12/2024 15:09

Bex5490 · 11/12/2024 12:26

Genuinely interested in this and not trying to goad just want to understand.

When people talk of the threat of a man in women’s spaces, I assume the danger is because of their penis.

So if that’s gone then should they be categorised as a woman?

I’m kind of of the opinion that if you’re willing to put that much effort in (as in penis removal) regardless of your chromosomes, I’m happy for you to be called a woman…is this wrong?

Yes, OP: it's every kind of wrong!

miniaturepixieonacid · 11/12/2024 15:09

Naunet · 11/12/2024 15:02

So you'd put transmen in a mens prison?

95% of them (or whatever the very high percentage of non surgical transpeople are is) - no, absolutely not.

On the very unlikely offchance that someone who has had the years of counselling and living in society as a woman required to have surgery and is still living in that way and then committed a prison worthy crime then yes, I would.

dynamiccactus · 11/12/2024 15:10

There's an easy way to avoid being sent to a men's prison, and that's not to commit a crime.

It's not that easy to commit crimes serious enough to result in a prison sentence, especially when we don't have enough spaces.

So - easy solution. Keep out of trouble. I suspect that only violent and sexual offenders will go to prison in future and it's really not that hard not to hit or sexually assault someone.

NonPlayerCharacter · 11/12/2024 15:10

miniaturepixieonacid · 11/12/2024 15:09

95% of them (or whatever the very high percentage of non surgical transpeople are is) - no, absolutely not.

On the very unlikely offchance that someone who has had the years of counselling and living in society as a woman required to have surgery and is still living in that way and then committed a prison worthy crime then yes, I would.

So it would become a mixed sex prison, and it would be officially asserted that a woman is a castrated man.

Why would you not put them in a segregated wing of a men's prison?

FiveTreeHill · 11/12/2024 15:11

Runnieknows · 11/12/2024 14:29

I agree with everything you’ve said. I am actively applying cognitive dissonance and am not activating to override women’s rights. If one of my friends was sent to a male prison, I wouldn’t complain, but I’d feel gutted for them, on a friendship level.

The reason you feel gutted though is because your friends have gender dysphoria, which obviously if you believe you are born in the wrong body is upsetting

Unfortunately people have indulged in their dysphoria for a long time, and so the reality becomes difficult to cope with. Which is obviously why the usual treatment for dysphoria is not to actively encourage dillusions. Because the reality is that they aren't women and nothing they do can ever make them a woman. You feel gutted for them because you realise they would have to acknowledge the reality.

Slooodie359 · 11/12/2024 15:12

Bex5490 · 11/12/2024 12:26

Genuinely interested in this and not trying to goad just want to understand.

When people talk of the threat of a man in women’s spaces, I assume the danger is because of their penis.

So if that’s gone then should they be categorised as a woman?

I’m kind of of the opinion that if you’re willing to put that much effort in (as in penis removal) regardless of your chromosomes, I’m happy for you to be called a woman…is this wrong?

Hmmm
I would like to know why this bottom surgery person is in prison. Can’t answer without knowing why they are incarcerated. And if that’s before or after transition. I think it matters.

miniaturepixieonacid · 11/12/2024 15:12

FiveTreeHill · 11/12/2024 15:02

What do you count as full surgical transition? Removal of a penis and fake tits doesn't change someone's sex. A woman isn't just a hole and a pair of tits, and doing some surgery doesn't change a person.

I also really disagree with encouraging people to go through major surgery that's going to come with risk of complications, risk of lifelong infertility etc. I think you do people a real disservice by pretending they can become the opposite sex by removing a couple of body parts.

Again, I agree. And surgery doesn't get done on a whim. I think it's a last resort response to a debilitating mental health problem.
But yes, I would call outer cosmetic surgery to look lije a female body a full transition.

lemmein · 11/12/2024 15:13

I have a friend who has had SRS. I'm going to call her 'she' because I've only ever known her as a woman, so saying 'he' sounds weird, though I know 'she' is a 'he' and nothing can change that.

She is very slightly built, only a bit taller than me (I'm 5ft 4) and I've no doubt at all if we were ever to get into a fight she'd be toast! She passes....probably because she is so slight and she had the SRS in her late teens. Id known her for a couple of years and didn't even get a slight inkling that she was trans. (Interestingly she's starting to look more masculine as she ages, but I don't know if that's just because I know now that I see it? Anyway....)

Despite all that I still think if she broke the law she should go to a male prison. However I think those who have had SRS should possibly be segregated in the male prison - if she was thrown into main pop she would be in a serious amount of danger, so segregated for her own safety. Saying that, I remember watching a Louis Theroux doc about American prisons and amongst the massive knuckleheads was a tiny, meek young pretty lad who probably gets raped on a daily basis....I'm not sure how UK prisons work and if that lad would've been segregated here or not, but if not I don't see why passing TIMs should get a pass either? Where do we draw the line?

In all honesty though, I don't really care where they put them - build a trans prison if you must - but leave women alone. I'd much prefer if SRS and GRC wasn't a thing tbh - we should never have started on the road of being complicit in lies, we've created this problem.

MsCranberry · 11/12/2024 15:16

Penis removal doesn't categorise a man as a woman, no.

Men who have their penis removed, for whatever reason, should be kept safe. I agree , everyone should be kept safe in prison.

But men who had their penis removed should not be placed in a women's prison, because they are not women.

And no, the risk is not removed.

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