“You sound like a great mum/aunt/nan” etc.

[Reallyaretheythatgreat]

i feel like I’m constantly reading comments such as “you sound great” “I bet you’re a lovely mum” “you’re doing a fab job op” etc when honestly I feel it’s unnecessary and almost condescending.

yet posters seem to be congratulating op on doing a fabulous job.

eg.

i bought my dog a new coat. Aibu for buying him a green felt one and now he looks likes a mobile pool table

omg op you sound like a brilliant owner and really responsible I bet your pooch loves you to the moon and back. I wish I’m reincarnated as your dog when I die.

aibu

I made baked potatoes with cheese and beans for dinner tonight for the entire family”

well done op you sound like a lovely wife/mother

no other option I’m afraid, I gambled most of the food money away this week so couldn’t afford much

op you sound like you’re trying your best and everyone is super proud of you. Who doesn’t love a jacket spud 💐💐💐💐💐

This has been annoying me for a while. People describe a completely normal everyday situation and someone says they sound amazing. 😀 Bloody ridiculous.

Posters often come on here seeking support when someone or something has undermined their confidence, so it's not unreasonable to offer reassurance about their parenting, animal husbandry or whatever they're posting about (assuming they do sound as though they're doing OK).

Mumsnet is not slow to hand posters their arse if they are doing something 'wrong'.

In your example above about the dog coat, I guarantee there would be a cohort of dog-owners coming on to say dogs don't need to wear coats; and a cohort of dog haters saying that any money spent on a dog was a waste when there are starving people in the world.

God forbid people are nice to someone for no reason whatsoever....

I haven’t seen anything quite as saccharine as you deacripe. I’fe got quite a good bullshitometer and I don’t find these comments patronising usually.
The OP is often distressed when they post and others try to boost them a bit, obviously we all don’t know each other and are just going on a few sentences, but I’d rather posters assume the best about eachother. What’s the alternative, “You sound obsessed and over invested, get a grip”?

Yes, it’s often when the OP is feeling bad about the baked potatoes.

If someone is feeling overwhelmed they are likely to have a distorted perception of their situation. It’s helpful to pick out the positives and reinforce them before moving on to where they can improve.

You're so astute to pick up on this OP, you sound like a wonderful mumsnetter 💐💐💐

Don't listen to those who say you need a bit of kindness in the world, we all know it is much better to bring someone down a peg or two. Keep going!

I feel like I read a lot of mean or callous responses but very little of what you describe.

Can I come hang out on whatever threads you’re on because my complaint about mumsnet is rarely that it’s TOO gentle and supportive

Berga lol

why don’t you link to this thread?

i suspect you have been a touch hyperbolic

Breathing deserves plaudits and parades according to some

They are just trying to be kind to an op who seems to be struggling.
A few kind words can make a big difference to someone.

invariably OPs start threads because that is exactly what they want

banal platitudes of support

I agree i clearly didn’t get the memo 😂

as few are agreeing with me.

-awaits the OP are you okay, have you considered help? You sound very negative, how’s your mental health? Might you consider therapy-

eta I agree

The OP used an exaggerated, created scenario for effect, obviously. Nevertheless, it proved the point.
That's why there was no link to a thread
I think you should ask someone how to determine if words are being used in a serious way or to illustrate a principle

huh?

i wasn’t referring to your Op

i was commenting that banal platitudes is often precisely what the Op wants

knife edge

Last century , before dog coats were a “Thing” I made my Lurcher a warm coat out of a length of possibly vintage woollen green Baize from a charity shop - mobile pool table indeed!
it had blue bias binding and a leather strap closure.

But no one said “ You sound like a fab owner, Hun!”😂

to be fair
it doesn’t “prove a point” if the example given is completely fictional

so the thread you refer to Op…. is made up?

yes. Otherwise it would be a taat.

Thats why people make threads sometimes, they want support. Would you rather we stoned them to death? 😂😂
I must admit it does annoy me that the answer to everything is you’ve got MH issues, autism or ADHD….. not always the case, sometimes we just struggle but people always want a label

To be honest, 'AIBU - My dog looks like a pool table' sounds more like a lighthearted thread where people would post their animal grooming fails!

You go girl! You got this 💪