To take my 2 year old to work tomorrow?

[IceCreamMum]

I’m a single mum and I don’t have any other choice as the childcare I had arranged for tomorrow has just fallen through now. I don’t know how my boss will react to me just turning up with DD, I can’t ask him as he’s not answering his phone and he won’t see my email until tomorrow morning when it will be too late anyway. I’m a member of senior management (Head of Department at a Zoo) and unfortunately I can’t work from home tomorrow, I have to be on the site tomorrow one way or another due to work commitments. Would I be unreasonable to take DD to work with me tomorrow? I don’t have any other option whatsoever and I also don’t have anyone else that I can ask for childcare this late either.

Unlikely. It will be written in the contract that they can close if they want.

As a one off it's not especially unreasonsable, your job as a PA to to facilitate your boss getting their work done.

You cannot expect that others will be thrilled to have a 2 year old in their workplace, or to be asked to mind one. Some might be, others won't. And nobody can guarantee a 2 year old will "act cute".

Some parents really are so blinkered they can't imagine why other people wouldn't love having their DC around, but there are many reasons why it would not be appropriate at work to bring a child in without prior agreement or ask colleagues to entertain a staff member's child. There could be staff struggling with infertility or baby loss, staff who aren't keen on children, staff who would struggle to work with a noisy child around, etc. For some people it might be a welcome distraction, for others having a 2 year old foisted on them would be the opposite of a nice bonding experience.

I don't go to work to mind other people's kids, and would never have asked anyone to put up with mine. It's work, not a crèche.

I used to work as an emergency nanny. Literally show up and have the children. I'd be looking for that option as I think your boss might not be happy.

Nobody is indespensible.
The meeting or whatever you need to do tomorrow needs to be moved.
Personally I don't think you should take your DD to work.
If I was your manager I would not find it acceptable if you took your daughter to work without permission but I would understand why you could not come into work given your circumstances.

Could you not attend the meeting remotely, via zoom or teams?

La la la emergency childcare
ho ho ho emergency childcare

cooo-eeeeee, OP, over here!
EMERGENCY CHILDCARE

Wanna comment?

Can't you message the other parents in the nursery and ask them what they are all doing for child care tomorrow? Presumably there will be others in the same boat as you?

People need to realise they are not as indispensably as they think. Yes an employer might be put out by you not being able to attend but it’s it’s absolutely not the case that they cannot manage without you because if something serious happened they’d manage. We all do it, think we are far more important than we truly are. I remember being so panicked one day about not being able to attend because I has a cold, so pushed myself to go in even though I was ill and didn’t want to let them down, got hit by a car while I was crossing the road on my way to work so didn’t make it in the end and work just found a way round it.

Not a good idea unfortunately.

Regardless of the setting you work in, it’s unlikely health and safety processes will have been written up to account for a 2 year old in the workplace, which I think would be putting your child and your employer at risk if you were to take them in.

You should be taking emergency leave or time off for dependents for this. Alternatively maybe calling in sick if you don’t want to explain that it’s a childcare issue, but personally I’d use TOD.

No, that's not a reasonable ask of a PA. I have a shared PA with two other senior managers and we would never ask her to look after a child. It's not part of her job description, and would completely be taking the piss. She's only young, just come off the grad scheme, isn't a nanny, and might not know what the hell to do with a small child for all we know. It's also a bad idea to look after a child you don't know on your own, in an environment that is unfamiliar to the child, and putting either a staff member or the child in that position is unfair.

I wouldn’t even think of doing this without the boss’s approval. And I wouldn’t do it anyway. As head of department you also have to lead by example. What if your staff showed up with their kids for the workday? You would have no leg to stand on to tell them no for whatever reasons they have, especially doing this yourself.

My child's nursery is really close to the office I work in, I sometimes bring her back to the office after pick up and work another half an hour or so if there is something urgent.
It's really hard to get work done with a 2 yo so only do absolutely essential tasks when they're with me at work and make sure that they're not disturbing others, I would never ask a colleague to look after my child during work. So honestly would not do it if I had a meeting to attend. I would rather find an emergency babysitter or something instead.
One of my colleagues has asked me to bring her in more often as they think it's fun to have a toddler around but my assumption is that some people don't love it and have no patience for other people's kids.

I'd be surprised if a toddler is permitted on premises under terms of insurance. I suspect you'll be sent home and made to take leave.

If you are truly indispensable at the meeting then attend for that one thing and then leave. Is there really no other mum who could have your child for a couple of hours? If not then take her to work and if you can't find anyone there willing to help you will have to miss the meeting but at least you tried!

Probably there will be plenty of people only too happy to take a break for an hour and entertain a 2 year old. In real life people love young kids and aren't grumpy like on here.

I have taken my kids to work and had a colleague walk them round for an hour while I was in a meeting. Sometimes the kids came to the meeting too if relatively informal. I wouldn't try to hang around all day though - it would cause too much distraction and the novelty would wear off. Older kids who could sit with an iPad perhaps but not a 2 year old!

It seems unlikely that there will be a genuine insurance reason preventing occasional entry to the workplace by children for an office building.

Lots of people projecting here. OP, you might be surprised and find your boss is OK with it; it depends on the actual nature of your job and you know that better than most people on here.
I'm a primary teacher and my Head has quite often said staff can bring in their child if they're stuck and you would think that would be an absolute "no." We've had kids of all ages, from crawling babies to nursery age to tweens.

Just say you can't come tomorrow due to not having childcare.

The world will keep on turning and the zoo wont collapse if you're not at work tomorrow.

You're not a heart surgeon, you're a manager in a zoo.

I'm not saying your job isn't important, but nobody will die if you don't turn up tomorrow.

I can’t ask him as he’s not answering his phone and he won’t see my email until tomorrow morning when it will be too late anyway.

If you've got his phone number, you'll have sent him a text message surely?

Which he'll obviously read way before his emails.

If he says no then you'll just have to stay home like many parents 🤷‍♀️

Single mum of four(now grown) kids. Had a senior role, plus many other professions. Can't think of one situation/ meeting scenario that could not be put off for a day. There must be someone who could step in for you, if not then you need to look at your processes going forward it is not good business sense to make someone so indispensable.

Exactly.

'The graveyards are full of indispensable people' as the old saying goes.

Ah lighten up, it's a 2 year old not a baby dragon. They're in a zoo. Put her in a pram and walk round or give her some toys and snacks in a corner.

If you work at a zoo, then I guess you've got to be present, WFH just isn't an option. As a long-term SM all I can say is that whilst quite a few Mners have the ability/work contracts to declare all the righteous rights that can be 'bestowed' in a working circumstance; the majority still have a shit load of mountain to climb.

And that's before you even factor in being a lone parent, no rellys to help out nor a wage that can easily hire in help. Tiz the way OP and it's a mound of shit to get through merely by dint of giving birth. Most of us have been sold a 'lemon' thinking that it's all so different now.

With no other alternative you can always turn up to work with your toddler in tow just don't expect to be graciously welcomed and appreciated whilst arguing your rights as someone who gave birth. You already know that's true, the red carpet would be rolled out if you gave birth to a panda or an elephant, giving birth to a human just doesn't cut the mustard.

You will have to take emergency leave unless you can ask one of the other nursery families to help?
For future support, I would start building up
your emergency contingency plan e.g find and use some local babysitters to build a rappor, ask the nursery staff if they offer private babysitting etc do a few favours for other parents and keep them in the bag. These years are tough and DC will have lots of odd days where they can’t go to nursery or school.

Is your DDs dad not in the picture?

Yes I’ve sent him a WhatsApp but he’s not seen it yet and he’s not normally the best at replying quickly either. It sometimes takes him over a day to see WhatsApp messages from anyone, not just me.